| [00:00.98] |
And that was a dark depressing time for him, you know |
| [00:03.55] |
He did had one visit with his mother I think |
| [00:06.55] |
During the time that he lived with me and she brought |
| [00:09.92] |
Him a huge box fill with gifts you know clothes and all |
| [00:14.73] |
Kinds of little goodies and stuff and it sat in the corner |
| [00:17.86] |
Untouched, literally for months he'd never opened anything just |
| [00:21.73] |
Left the box there |
| [00:24.05] |
- |
| [00:41.49] |
What's going on in your mind when someone you haven't seen |
| [00:43.55] |
since you were nine is out at your door step right now? |
| [00:45.55] |
Rewind, remember that one time when Marco showed up at the front door |
| [00:48.86] |
And we found out he escaped from a psych ward |
| [00:50.80] |
And stole grandma's car? |
| [00:51.80] |
Ah, rest her soul |
| [00:53.11] |
I know that's off topic, but I miss her soul |
| [00:55.17] |
So ironic that she was blind but told me I'm handsome I was |
| [00:57.80] |
Every time that I walked in the door |
| [00:59.30] |
Can't lie and say it was easy being 14 on February 14th |
| [01:02.11] |
Watching a body die in my arms |
| [01:03.92] |
Then have to go to a school that I hated |
| [01:05.67] |
When my grade indicate that I don't give a **** what's going on |
| [01:07.86] |
A couple hours later on |
| [01:09.05] |
And not to mention that one bitch that I loved |
| [01:11.36] |
By the way I call her "bitch" because she was |
| [01:13.24] |
Wanted me to catch another man ****ing her |
| [01:15.49] |
Invited me over, told me to come into the front |
| [01:17.11] |
Come upstairs and say what's up |
| [01:18.17] |
And there she was |
| [01:18.92] |
Little slut |
| [01:19.61] |
I was broken hearted, should've broke that bitch's jaw |
| [01:21.86] |
Just for playin' me like a chump |
| [01:22.80] |
But instead went to the garage, grabbed one |
| [01:24.36] |
Of her brother's rifles, went outside, and shot that other |
| [01:26.24] |
Motha****a's truck up |
| [01:27.11] |
I guess that's what lead me to cuffs |
| [01:29.55] |
Becomin' common in my life like funerals was |
| [01:31.74] |
Daddy's less common now, he gave up |
| [01:33.05] |
After he heard the judge pin a ****ing felony on his son |
| [01:36.11] |
Funny enough |
| [01:36.99] |
Me and Aunt Barbara even closer |
| [01:38.74] |
Start to feel some weight lift off her shoulder |
| [01:40.80] |
Till it piled back on when a radiologist told her |
| [01:43.11] |
That she had breast cancer and might not live much longer |
| [01:45.30] |
Fast forward |
| [01:46.17] |
The woman that I call my "mother" isn't my mother |
| [01:47.92] |
Or even blood but that's how much I love her |
| [01:49.92] |
And I'm feeling awkward cause the doorbell's from the person that I call HER |
| [01:52.49] |
Maybe I ain't ready for it... |
| [01:53.92] |
Shit, what should I wear? |
| [01:57.11] |
**** that, I ain't going down there |
| [01:58.74] |
I waited over a decade for closure |
| [02:00.36] |
Why should I receive it if it might not be something I want to hear |
| [02:03.36] |
In the mirror is a empty reflection |
| [02:05.17] |
And in my head are questions I want to ask like, "Where the **** did you go?" |
| [02:08.61] |
Why did you turn my birthdays to the worst days every year that you didn't show? |
| [02:12.49] |
And if you must know, I didn't turn out to be much else |
| [02:15.61] |
Than a drunk who fell face first to a pile of hell |
| [02:17.41] |
Took four snuffs of the devil's dust |
| [02:18.78] |
Ended up with my manager helping me cause I couldn't take a piss by myself |
| [02:21.97] |
But I did get a record deal |
| [02:23.34] |
And all my records got that making of a legend feel |
| [02:25.78] |
And I did have a daughter who I promised that the way that way you made me felt |
| [02:29.16] |
Is a way she will never, feel |
| [02:30.59] |
Slip a Benadryl in my cup |
| [02:32.16] |
Ech, **** it I'm sickening up |
| [02:33.53] |
Pit of my stomach clenching, all my muscles stiffening up |
| [02:35.66] |
I ain't been this nervous since I got jumped |
| [02:37.84] |
Flick the tip of my J over a surface cover with ashes and junk |
| [02:40.34] |
Took a pull and sat it down |
| [02:41.84] |
Put on both of my Chucks |
| [02:42.66] |
Reach for the door but my hand's sweaty, I'm anxious as **** |
| [02:44.84] |
Couldn't even hit the stairs without remembering how many years I was there waiting to see your car pull up |
| [02:50.67] |
Now you saying she's right there? |
| [02:52.48] |
Man you saying she's right there? |
| [02:54.61] |
You telling me if I open up this door right here |
| [02:56.42] |
That she'll been standing right there? |
| [02:58.55] |
And after all these years am I wrong for having this fear |
| [03:02.80] |
Of meeting the reflection that was missing in the mirror |
| [03:05.08] |
Open up the door and then I see her |
