| [00:03.350] |
NORMA:Hurry up, the birthday boy is on his way |
| [00:07.925] |
This is a surprise celebration |
| [00:11.862] |
I hope you've remembered everything I've said |
| [00:16.028] |
I want to see a total transformation |
| [00:20.428] |
JOE: What's all this? |
| [00:21.788] |
NORMA:Happy birthday, darling. Did you think we'd forgotten? |
| [00:24.701] |
JOE: Well, I ... I don't know. |
| [00:26.848] |
NORMA: These people are from the best men's shop in town. |
| [00:29.368] |
I had them close it down for the day. |
| [00:30.727] |
JOE: Norma, now listen! |
| [00:31.423] |
NORMA: I'll leave you boys to it. |
| [00:33.654] |
MANFRED: Happy birthday, welcome to your shopathon! |
| [00:39.251] |
JOE: What's going on? |
| [00:40.574] |
MANFRED: Help yourself, it's all been taken care of |
| [00:43.906] |
Anyone who's anyone is dressed by me |
| [00:46.854] |
JOE: Well, golly gee |
| [00:48.387] |
MANFRED: Pick out anything you'd like a pair of |
| [00:52.230] |
You just point, I'll do the rest |
| [00:54.367] |
I've brought nothing but the best |
| [00:56.492] |
You're a very lucky writer |
| [00:58.754] |
Come along now, get undressed |
| [01:01.285] |
Unless I'm much mistaken |
| [01:03.330] |
That's a 42-inch chest |
| [01:05.732] |
JOE: I don't understand a word you're saying |
| [01:09.353] |
MANFRED: Well, all you need to know's the lady's paying |
| [01:12.233] |
It's nice to get your just reward this time of year |
| [01:15.588] |
JOE: Get outta here! |
| [01:16.645] |
MANFRED:And all my merchandise is strictly kosher |
| [01:19.744] |
When you've thrown away all your old worn-out stuff |
| [01:23.413] |
JOE:Hey, that's enough |
| [01:24.713] |
MANFRED: Perhaps you'd like to model for my brochure |
| [01:28.614] |
I have just the thing for you |
| [01:30.785] |
Chalk-stripe suits |
| [01:31.795] |
SALESMAN 1: In black |
| [01:32.632] |
SALESMAN 2: Or blue |
| [01:33.385] |
SALESMAN 3: Glen plaid trousers |
| [01:34.349] |
SALESMAN 4: Cashmere sweaters |
| [01:35.430] |
SALESMAN 5: Bathing shorts for Malibu |
| [01:37.596] |
SALESMAN 6: Here's a patent leather lace-up |
| [01:39.872] |
SALESMAN 7: It's a virtuoso shoe |
| [01:42.275] |
MANFRED: And a simply marvelous coat made of vicuna |
| [01:46.128] |
JOE: You know what you can do with your vicuna |
| [01:49.519] |
NORMA: Come on Joe, you haven't even started yet |
| [01:52.618] |
JOE: You wanna bet? |
| [01:53.697] |
NORMA: I thought by now he'd look the height of fashion |
| [01:56.693] |
He always takes forever making up his mind |
| [02:00.396] |
Don't be unkind |
| [02:01.732] |
I thought you writers knew about compassion |
| [02:05.029] |
I love flannel on a man |
| [02:07.896] |
MANFRED: This will complement his tan |
| [02:10.090] |
NORMA: We'll take two of these and four of those |
| [02:12.749] |
MANFRED: I'm still your greatest fan! |
| [02:14.977] |
Very soon now we'll have stopped him |
| [02:17.475] |
Looking like an also-ran |
| [02:19.183] |
JOE: You're going to make me sorry that I'm staying |
| [02:23.142] |
NORMA: Well, all right, I'll choose, after all, I'm paying! |
| [02:25.843] |
MANFRED: Evening clothes? |
| [02:27.480] |
NORMA: I want to see your most deluxe |
| [02:29.361] |
JOE: Won't wear a tux |
| [02:30.638] |
NORMA: Of course not, dear, tuxedos are for waiters |
| [02:33.782] |
MANFRED:What we need are tails, a white tie and top hat |
| [02:37.300] |
J OE:I can't wear that |
| [02:38.695] |
NORMA:Joe, second-rate clothes are for second-raters |
| [02:41.458] |
JOE:Norma, please... |
| [02:42.735] |
NORMA: Shut up, I'm rich |
| [02:44.092] |
Now some platinum blonde bitch |
| [02:46.403] |
I own so many apartments |
| [02:48.341] |
I've forgotten which is which |
| [02:50.454] |
JOE: I don't have to go to premieres |
| [02:53.032] |
I'm never on display |
| [02:55.039] |
You seem to forget that I'm a writer |
| [02:59.196] |
Who cares what you wear when you're a writer? |
| [03:02.331] |
NORMA: I care, Joe, and please don't be so mean to me. |
| [03:05.442] |
JOE: OK, all right. |
| [03:07.172] |
NORMA: You can't come to my New Year's Eve party in that filling-station shirt. |
| [03:11.653] |
JOE: I've been invited somewhere else on New Year's Eve. |
| [03:14.382] |
NORMA: Where? |
| [03:15.391] |
JOE: Artie Green. He's an old friend of mine. |
| [03:17.214] |
NORMA: I can't do without you, Joe, I need you. |
| [03:21.998] |
I've sent out every single invitation |
| [03:25.788] |
JOE: All right, Norma, I give in |
| [03:28.888] |
NORMA:Of course you do |
| [03:30.468] |
And when they've dressed you |
| [03:32.104] |
You'll cause a sensation |
| [03:35.739] |
SALESMEN: We equip the chosen few of Movieland |
| [03:38.861] |
MANFRED: (The latest cut) |
| [03:40.186] |
SALESMEN: We dress every movie star and crooner |
| [03:43.086] |
From their shiny toecaps to their hatband |
| [03:47.244] |
MANFRED: (Conceal your gut) |
| [03:48.625] |
You won't regret selecting the vicuna |
| [03:52.004] |
SALESMEN: If you need a hand to shake |
| [03:54.081] |
If there's a girl you want to make |
| [03:56.380] |
If there's a soul you're out to capture |
| [03:58.761] |
Or a heart you want to break |
| [04:01.105] |
If you want the world to love you |
| [04:03.380] |
MANFRED: You'll have to learn to take |
| [04:05.446] |
SALESMEN: And gracefully accept the role you're playing |
| [04:09.778] |
MANFRED: You will earn every cent the lady's paying |
| [04:12.900] |
SALESMEN: So why not have it all? |
| [04:20.122] |
MANFRED: Now that didn't hurt, did it? |
| [04:22.060] |
SALESMEN: The lady's paying! |
