| [00:02.33] |
You said you'd marry Joey? |
| [00:04.93] |
Okay, you have to realize, I was exhausted, I was emotional. |
| [00:08.47] |
I would have said yes to anybody. |
| [00:10.34] |
Like that time when you and I got married. |
| [00:15.34] |
I'm not helping. |
| [00:17.68] |
So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby? |
| [00:22.35] |
That is right. And traditionally, the daddy gives the mommy a present. |
| [00:26.52] |
But I am prepared to let that go. |
| [00:29.79] |
So when I came here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again.. |
| [00:33.80] |
you were engaged to my best friend? |
| [00:37.37] |
Well.. |
| [00:38.90] |
Really? |
| [00:40.77] |
I thought Chandler was your best friend. |
| [00:43.54] |
Well, Chandler's my oldest friend. Joey's my.. No! |
| [00:49.54] |
Hey, I'm gonna take off. I just wanted to say goodbye. |
| [00:52.38] |
Rachel said she'd marry you? |
| [00:55.32] |
This isn't the right room. Sorry, folks. |
| [01:00.02] |
The One Where Emma Cries |
| [01:52.34] |
I don't want to be negative. So I'll say most of the signs you bought are good. |
| [01:58.25] |
No, they ran out of "It's a Girl!" But I can fix this one. “ |
| [02:06.45] |
|
| [02:08.06] |
See? Huh? |
| [02:12.79] |
So sexy. |
| [02:15.46] |
- Honey? - Yeah? |
| [02:19.63] |
- Honey, why don't you lie down? - It's okay. - |
| [02:21.77] |
Ross and Rachel will be back soon, and then I gotta go to the office. |
| [02:29.81] |
Am I producing them? |
| [02:33.11] |
- Why are you so tired? - I couldn't sleep last night. - |
| [02:35.88] |
I started worrying about this big divisional meeting I have today. |
| [02:39.09] |
The more I worried, the more I couldn't sleep. |
| [02:41.59] |
You know, and then I was, like, "If I fall asleep now, I'll get six hours' sleep. |
| [02:45.66] |
But if I fall asleep now, I'll get five hours' sleep." |
| [02:49.03] |
No matter what I did, I couldn't fall asleep. |
| [02:51.53] |
You know what you should've done? Told yourself that little story. |
| [02:53.90] |
|
| [02:57.67] |
- Hi. - Hey |
| [02:59.14] |
- Welcome home. - Hi. - |
| [03:00.78] |
Phoebe did the signs. |
| [03:03.14] |
You guys, thanks for doing this. |
| [03:07.05] |
Look at all that stuff people sent. |
| [03:10.29] |
Oh, my gosh. Look, there's something every mother needs. |
| [03:13.52] |
A giant, stuffed gorilla that takes up the entire apartment. |
| [03:18.13] |
What are people think..? You guys, I love it. |
| [03:24.87] |
Hey, so where's Ross? |
| [03:26.80] |
He's downstairs getting the stuff out of the cab. |
| [03:29.30] |
- Is he still mad at us? - Well, you more than me. - |
| [03:32.07] |
But he can't stay too mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby. |
| [03:35.31] |
That's not fair. I can't do that. |
| [03:38.48] |
I'm not sure you should be here when he comes up. |
| [03:40.98] |
I didn't think I should be here either. But somebody said he'd be over it. |
| [03:45.25] |
Hey, what do I know? I wanted to get a bigger gorilla. |
| [03:54.13] |
The numbers we're seeing in Chicago, New York and London are solid. |
| [03:57.97] |
But many of our field offices have reported disappointing yields. |
| [04:08.24] |
Boston is down. Atlanta is down. Houston is down. |
| [04:11.08] |
I could go on and on. But instead of boring you.. |
| [04:14.05] |
I'll go straight to my 42-point plan. |
| [04:27.56] |
Walter. |
| [04:31.17] |
She's just so cute. |
| [04:33.70] |
I just want to bite her ear off and use it as a sucking candy. |
| [04:39.41] |
Phoebe. |
| [04:40.98] |
But I could take one of those little feet and put it in a pita pocket. |
| [04:46.18] |
- Okay. I put most of the stuff away. - Oh, great. The pacifiers? - |
| [04:49.78] |
- It's in the cupboard. - The burping cloths? - |
| [04:53.05] |
- Linen closet. - The diapers? |
| [04:56.06] |
In the hospital. |
| [04:59.19] |
- Wow, you guys got a hospital? Fancy. - No, I left the diapers at the hospital. - |
| [05:04.27] |
There's some in the bag, but I'll run out and get some more. |
| [05:07.20] |
All right, thanks. |
| [05:08.60] |
Could you stop at the coffeehouse and get me a muffin? |
| [05:11.07] |
- Sure. What kind? - Let me think. - |
| [05:14.61] |
What do I want? |
| [05:17.55] |
What do I want? |
| [05:20.32] |
Please, take your time. It's an important decision, not like.. |
| [05:23.42] |
say, I don't know, deciding to marry someone. This is about a muffin. |
| [05:30.93] |
- Blueberry. - Blueberry it is. - |
| [05:33.03] |
Thank you. |
| [05:36.16] |
Wow, he's not letting this go, is he? |
| [05:38.33] |
God, how long do you think that's gonna last? |
| [05:40.84] |
I don't know. He got over the "We were on a break" thing quickly. |
| [05:46.07] |
You know what, I can't worry about it right now. |
| [05:48.64] |
Because I've got the cutie little baby. |
| [05:53.15] |
I can't believe how much I love her. I mean, I can't get enough of her. |
| [05:57.42] |
Like, right now? I miss her. I actually miss her. |
| [06:00.82] |
You know, that's her? |
| [06:04.86] |
I know. I know, but she's sleeping. |
| [06:07.96] |
It's not like when she's awake and I can see her stretch and wiggle. |
| [06:12.07] |
Oh, my God, have you seen her yawn? |
| [06:14.00] |
- It's so cute. - I know. - |
| [06:18.07] |
When do you think she's gonna wake up? |
| [06:20.07] |
She told me to ring her if she's not up by 11. |
| [06:22.71] |
She has a job interview. |
| [06:29.25] |
Okay, but the clouds part when she yawns. |
| [06:34.39] |
God, look at her sleeping. I love her so much. |
| [06:38.99] |
- I think I'm gonna wake her up. - Rach, no. - |
| [06:41.16] |
You know, you're never supposed to wake a sleeping baby. |
| [06:44.30] |
Well, I can do whatever I want. I made her. |
| [06:48.24] |
Come on, little girl. Yes. Hello, Emma. Hello. Hi. |
| [06:58.01] |
Well, I would say I told you so, but she's kind of doing that for me. |
| [07:02.85] |
I'm sorry. Mommy's so sorry. Go back to sleep. |
| [07:06.15] |
Go back to sleep. |
| [07:08.72] |
- It breaks your heart, doesn't it? - It really does. - |
| [07:13.39] |
How long do you think we have to stay? |
| [07:18.07] |
Okay, if everyone's onboard, it's settled. |
| [07:20.64] |
Chandler? |
| [07:28.94] |
- Chandler? - Yeah. |
| [07:30.28] |
Are you onboard? |
| [07:33.41] |
Yes. |
| [07:35.78] |
Well, then problem solved. Chandler will run our office in Tulsa. |
| [07:39.45] |
You're gonna love Oklahoma. |
| [07:45.69] |
All right. We already tried feeding her, changing her, burping her.. |
| [07:49.63] |
Try this one. "Go back in time and listen to Phoebe." |
| [07:55.87] |
- All right, here's something. - What? |
| [07:57.81] |
It says to try holding the baby close to your body.. |
| [08:00.37] |
and then swing her rapidly from side to side. |
| [08:04.05] |
Okay. |
| [08:14.19] |
It worked! |
| [08:17.66] |
No. Just stopped to throw up a little bit. |
| [08:22.33] |
Mon, what am I gonna do? |
| [08:23.87] |
It's been hours, and it won't stop crying. |
| [08:28.67] |
- She, Rach. Not it. She. - Yeah. I'm not so sure. - |
| [08:34.18] |
- Oh, my God, I'm losing my mind. - Yeah, no kidding. - |
| [08:37.38] |
All right, this just proves no good can come from having sex with Ross! |
| [08:46.15] |
Hey, Gunther. Can I get a couple of blueberry muffins to go? |
| [08:50.53] |
- Diapers, huh? - Yep |
| [08:52.73] |
So I guess Rachel had your baby? |
| [08:55.36] |
- Yep. Can you believe it? - Nope |
| [08:59.23] |
I can't even believe she slept with you in the first place. |
| [09:05.41] |
You mean, like.. |
| [09:15.05] |
Hey. |
| [09:18.79] |
I know you're pissed at me, but we have to talk about this. |
| [09:21.82] |
Actually, we don't. |
| [09:25.06] |
Fine. Okay. But I gotta say, technically, I didn't even do anything wrong. |
| [09:30.57] |
What? You didn't do anything wrong? |
| [09:33.90] |
- I said I didn't technically. - Okay. - |
| [09:37.74] |
Let's put aside the fact that you "accidentally".. |
| [09:40.21] |
picked up my grandmother's ring and you "accidentally" proposed to Rachel. |
| [09:44.95] |
Can I just stop you there for a second? |
| [09:47.08] |
When people do this: |
| [09:48.65] |
I don't really know what that means. |
| [09:56.79] |
You were saying? |
| [09:58.26] |
And I could even understand that you couldn't tell Rachel. |
| [10:02.13] |
But why couldn't you tell me? You had all day to, and you didn't. |
| [10:06.37] |
I know. I should've. "I'm sorry." |
| [10:15.98] |
Not using it right, Joe. |
| [10:19.15] |
"I'm sorry." “ |
| [10:24.29] |
- I'm gonna go. - No, come on. - |
| [10:25.82] |
- Ross, we have to get past this. - Give me the bag. - |
| [10:28.16] |
No, I don't know what else to do. I said I'm sorry, now.. |
| [10:31.53] |
Now you should scream at me or curse me or hit me. |
| [10:34.70] |
- I'm not gonna hit you. - You'll feel better. I'll feel better. - |
| [10:37.97] |
You know you want to, I can see it in your eyes. |
| [10:41.84] |
- I don't. - A little bit. - |
| [10:43.27] |
- No. - Little bit. - |
| [10:46.31] |
- No. - A little bit more. - |
| [10:48.68] |
- Give me the bag. Give me the bag. - No, hit me. Hit me. - |
| [10:51.48] |
- Give me the bag. I'm not kidding. - Hit me. - |
| [10:53.78] |
- No. - Hit me. Hit me. Hit me! |
| [11:08.10] |
- You ducked! - I'm sorry! It was a reflex! - |
| [11:11.67] |
- Oh, my God! This really hurts! - I couldn't help it. |
| [11:15.27] |
When a fist comes at your face, you duck. Look. |
| [11:21.24] |
What is the matter with you? |
| [11:23.98] |
You were supposed to duck! Why didn't you? |
| [11:26.25] |
Let's talk on the way to the hospital. |
| [11:28.42] |
Good. Yeah, maybe while we're there, they can check your reflexes. |
| [11:47.77] |
- Try feeding her again. - I already fed her. - |
| [11:50.94] |
I know. That's why I said, "Again!" |
| [11:54.78] |
You guys, we can't turn on each other, okay? |
| [11:57.21] |
That's just what she wants. |
| [12:00.21] |
- Hi. - Hey. |
| [12:02.32] |
I told you you shouldn't have let her watch Terms of Endearment. |
| [12:06.19] |
- Can I talk to you outside? - Just stay here. - |
| [12:08.96] |
I'm gonna check her diaper. Phoebe, you want to come? |
| [12:11.53] |
I'm kind of part of this. |
| [12:16.66] |
Actually, it's a husband-and-wife kind of thing. |
| [12:19.20] |
I knew I should've married Chandler. |
| [12:23.40] |
- Okay, what's up? - Okay. |
| [12:26.31] |
You know we said it would be fun to move to Paris for a year? |
| [12:29.24] |
And you could study French cooking, and I could write.. |
| [12:32.08] |
and we could picnic along the Seine, and go wine-tasting in Bordeaux. |
| [12:36.55] |
- Yeah. - Okay. |
| [12:38.85] |
You know how people say that Tulsa.. |
| [12:43.86] |
is the Paris of Oklahoma? |
| [12:48.56] |
What? Who says that? |
| [12:51.13] |
People who have never been to Paris? |
| [12:54.54] |
- Well, what's going on? - We're moving to Tulsa. - |
| [13:01.44] |
- Excuse me? - Okay. |
| [13:03.94] |
Ms. McKenna, she kind of works above my boss. |
| [13:06.91] |
- I think you actually met her. - Don't care. Get back to Tulsa. - |
| [13:10.15] |
She asked me to move to Tulsa and be president of our office there. |
| [13:13.92] |
And I was sleeping and apparently said yes. |
| [13:17.36] |
- Tulsa, Oklahoma? - The Sooner State. - |
| [13:22.43] |
Whatever that is. |
| [13:24.60] |
Chandler, I don't even want to see the musical Oklahoma. |
| [13:27.97] |
"Oh, What a Beautiful Morning, " "Surrey With the Fringe on Top"? |
| [13:31.01] |
Are you trying to tell me we're moving to Oklahoma or that you're gay? |
| [13:38.25] |
I don't think I can get out of this. |
| [13:40.31] |
- Oh, my God! - But you don't know.. |
| [13:42.82] |
it could be like Paris. You can still take a cooking class.. |
| [13:45.82] |
at Oral Roberts University. |
| [13:49.36] |
All right, not that this matters, but did they at least offer you a huge raise? |
| [13:53.33] |
No. But they are going to lease us a Ford Focus. |
| [13:59.43] |
- I'll get out of it. - Thank you. - |
| [14:02.80] |
- What is wrong with Emma? - She misunderstood. - |
| [14:04.84] |
She thought she was moving to Tulsa. |
| [14:11.58] |
Ma'am, do you have a minute? |
| [14:14.38] |
I kind of have some bad news. I don't think I can move to Tulsa. |
| [14:19.29] |
- What? - It's a funny story, actually. - |
| [14:24.73] |
I kind of fell asleep in the meeting this morning. |
| [14:28.30] |
So when I said I'd move to Tulsa, I didn't really know what I was saying. |
| [14:32.03] |
You fell asleep? |
| [14:33.40] |
But only because I was up all night worried about this meeting. |
| [14:36.24] |
Isn't that funny? |
| [14:39.51] |
Irony. Not a fan? All right. |
| [14:44.11] |
See, here's the thing. |
| [14:45.65] |
I went home and told my wife about Tulsa, and she won't go. |
| [14:49.28] |
See me, I love Tulsa. Tulsa is heaven. Tulsa is ltaly. |
| [14:53.32] |
Please don't make me go there. |
| [14:55.59] |
- Chandler, I.. - I know that you're upset. |
| [14:58.73] |
but I just.. I would really rather just stay here. |
| [15:04.06] |
Not here in your office.. |
| [15:06.13] |
here at the company.. |
| [15:08.14] |
where I'm rapidly feeling unwelcome. |
| [15:12.07] |
No, look, Carol. Can I call you Carol? |
| [15:17.21] |
Why would I when your name is Elaine? |
| [15:24.79] |
What a great picture of your son. Strapping. |
| [15:29.39] |
That's a picture of your daughter, isn't it? |
| [15:32.66] |
Well, she's lovely. I like a girl with a strong jaw. |
| [15:39.03] |
I'll call you from Tulsa. |
| [15:45.77] |
Hey. So how is it? |
| [15:48.48] |
- I broke my thumb. - Your thumb? - |
| [15:54.92] |
That's weird. Are you sure you're punching right? |
| [15:57.82] |
Make a fist. |
| [16:01.16] |
Maybe later. |
| [16:03.32] |
Ross, I feel terrible. |
| [16:05.23] |
You know what, you can go. I just have to fill out some forms. |
| [16:14.44] |
You want me to help you with that? |
| [16:16.47] |
Why, does it look like I'm having trouble with my misshapen claw? |
| [16:23.71] |
Name? |
| [16:27.18] |
No, I know Ross. But what's it short for? |
| [16:30.22] |
You know, like Rossell. |
| [16:32.89] |
Or Rosstrophor. |
| [16:37.02] |
Just Ross. |
| [16:40.19] |
It's pretty. |
| [16:42.90] |
- Okay, date of birth? - You know my birthday. - |
| [16:46.40] |
Sure. |
| [16:48.90] |
May.. tember? |
| [16:53.37] |
- October 18. - Occupation? Dinosaurs. - |
| [17:00.11] |
Actually, I'm a paleon.. Dinosaurs is fine. |
| [17:06.05] |
The drawing is not. |
| [17:12.39] |
All right, who do you want as your emergency contact? |
| [17:16.73] |
- Rachel, I guess. - Okay. Relationship? - |
| [17:20.20] |
Boy, this could take a while. |
| [17:26.27] |
- Just put roommate. - Come on. - |
| [17:28.58] |
You guys are more than that. You're gonna get together, right? |
| [17:32.28] |
I don't think that we are. |
| [17:36.38] |
But you two are supposed to be together. |
| [17:38.75] |
Well, I thought so too. But then she said she'd marry you. |
| [17:42.32] |
Come on, Ross, that didn't mean anything. |
| [17:44.79] |
She'd just had the baby. She was freaked out about doing it alone. |
| [17:47.83] |
- She would have said yes to anybody. - Yeah, that's what she said. - |
| [17:52.07] |
- So? - So I don't want to be just anybody. - |
| [17:58.64] |
- Wow. - You know what? |
| [18:00.34] |
It's better this way anyway. |
| [18:04.75] |
I don't know what I was thinking, going down that road again with us. |
| [18:07.82] |
It's just much easier if we're just friends who have a kid. |
| [18:13.69] |
- Really? - Yeah. |
| [18:16.12] |
- And you're okay with that? - Yes. That's what we always planned. - |
| [18:20.03] |
And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. |
| [18:22.76] |
That's why they call them plans. Hello? |
| [18:28.70] |
I'm fine. |
| [18:31.34] |
Hey, for what it's worth.. |
| [18:33.27] |
with Rachel, I don't think you'll ever be just "anybody." |
| [18:38.05] |
Hey, there you go. |
| [18:42.52] |
"Thanks. |
| [18:49.72] |
Oh, my God. How long has she been crying? |
| [18:53.36] |
About a week and a half. |
| [18:56.03] |
Well, it looks like you guys got it under control, so I'm just gonna go. |
| [19:01.87] |
No? Really? Misery really does love company? |
| [19:05.31] |
All right. |
| [19:08.38] |
- Try holding her a different way. - Look, I'm doing the best I can. - |
| [19:12.18] |
- Anyone else is welcome to try. - All right, I'll try. Fine. - |
| [19:15.52] |
- Yes. Okay. Okay. - Here you go. |
| [19:18.02] |
Hey. Oh, gosh. |
| [19:20.89] |
Nothing works with this child! |
| [19:24.22] |
God, what am I gonna do, you guys? I can't even comfort my own baby. |
| [19:28.33] |
- I'm the worst mother ever. - No, you're just new at this. - |
| [19:31.20] |
You'll get better. Think about your first day at work. |
| [19:34.60] |
That couldn't have been easy, but you figured that out. |
| [19:37.34] |
Yeah, I don't think dressing provocatively is going to help me here! |
| [19:42.24] |
- God, just please take her. - Okay, I'll take her. Come on. - |
| [19:46.05] |
Oh, boy, I have to go to the bathroom. |
| [19:49.15] |
I have to go scream into a pillow. |
| [19:55.86] |
Bouncy. Bouncy baby. Bouncy baby. |
| [20:00.13] |
Oh, baby, baby. Oh, baby, baby. |
| [20:05.13] |
Oh, baby, baby, baby. |
| [20:10.17] |
Have I gone deaf? |
| [20:14.81] |
It worked. Oh, baby, baby, baby. Oh, baby, baby, baby. |
| [20:20.98] |
You must be a fireball in bed! |
| [20:25.32] |
I can't believe it. She's asleep. I got her to go to sleep. |
| [20:31.29] |
I have actual magical powers. |
| [20:35.66] |
I can hear traffic and birds. |
| [20:38.33] |
I can hear the voices in my head again. |
| [20:42.97] |
I'm kidding. |
| [20:47.98] |
Oh, my God! You got her to stop crying! |
| [20:52.01] |
Yes, I did. I'm Monica, super aunt. |
| [20:56.65] |
- You are the official baby-crier stopper. - Yes, I am. - |
| [21:01.49] |
- You're never leaving the apartment. - Say what? - |
| [21:05.23] |
That's your new job, day or night. She starts crying, I need you here. |
| [21:09.73] |
- No, no, no. - Thankfully, you don't need me at all. - |
| [21:13.63] |
So okay. Hey, super aunt? See you later. |
| [21:17.94] |
Rachel? Let's give it six to eight months. |
| [21:30.45] |
Okay, so listen, I'm gonna go lay down. |
| [21:34.05] |
What? |
| [21:35.32] |
The book says whenever she's sleeping, I should be sleeping. |
| [21:38.39] |
So.. |
| [21:41.70] |
Thank you. |
| [21:46.47] |
Hey. |
| [21:48.50] |
- We just got her to go to sleep. - So there can't be any yelling? - |
| [21:54.78] |
No. |
| [21:59.58] |
- We're moving to Tulsa. - What? - |
| [22:05.85] |
I can't.. I can't hear. |
| [22:14.53] |
- Hey. - Hey. Where have you been? |
| [22:20.57] |
- What happened to you? - I had a little thing with Joey. - |
| [22:24.27] |
If you think this is bad, you should see him. |
| [22:28.04] |
No, Ross, this is not good. |
| [22:30.54] |
We have to talk about this Joey thing. Please sit. |
| [22:38.09] |
All right, you have got to get over this Joey thing. |
| [22:42.22] |
Okay? I never really wanted to marry Joey, okay? |
| [22:49.16] |
Okay. |
| [22:52.10] |
You know what I really, really want? |
| [22:56.90] |
What, Rach? |
| [23:00.07] |
I wanna sleep. |
| [23:03.64] |
I wanna eat. I wanna take a shower. |
| [23:09.25] |
I mean, before she wakes up, and we gotta do this all over again. |
| [23:13.59] |
- Right. - I mean, because I got news for you. - |
| [23:17.02] |
Emma: not easy. |
| [23:21.09] |
Well, that's what I'm here for. |
| [23:28.20] |
- You want me to get that? - No, that's really okay. - |
| [23:31.44] |
- Monica? - Got it, got it, got it, got it. |
| [23:45.45] |
I've been thinking about this. And I gotta tell you, it's not my fault. |
| [23:49.29] |
- It's a natural instinct. - What are you talking about? - |
| [23:52.13] |
Okay, what would you do if I did this? |
