| [00:06.03] |
-I'm ready. -You sure? - |
| [00:08.74] |
Let me just straighten out your helmet there. |
| [00:11.61] |
-Thanks, Daddy. -No, no. One daddy, two mommies. - |
| [00:16.98] |
-All right, it's all yours. -Okay, okay. - |
| [00:20.22] |
There you go, there you go. |
| [00:22.22] |
Wow, Ben's first big kid's bike. This is so exciting! |
| [00:26.39] |
Oh, yeah, I remember mine. |
| [00:28.56] |
It was my sixth birthday. I went to the park... |
| [00:31.26] |
-and I got on it and it bent. -Yeah. - |
| [00:35.80] |
-I never had a bike of my own. -What? - |
| [00:38.60] |
We didn't have a lot of money. |
| [00:40.60] |
But the girl across the street had the best bike. |
| [00:43.57] |
It was pink and it had rainbow-colored tassels hanging off the handles... |
| [00:48.24] |
and a bell and this big, white wicker basket... |
| [00:51.45] |
with those plastic daisies stuck on. |
| [00:54.98] |
That sounds like my first bike. |
| [00:58.72] |
My dad gave me his old one. |
| [01:01.66] |
-Did the girl ever let you ride it? -No. - |
| [01:04.03] |
But she gave me the box that it came in. |
| [01:06.93] |
It had a picture of the bike on the front. |
| [01:10.37] |
So I would sit on it and my stepdad would drag me around the backyard. |
| [01:15.34] |
That is so unfair. |
| [01:17.31] |
Not really, I got to drag him around too. |
| [01:21.04] |
The One With All the Candy |
| [00:00.00] |
|
| [02:05.29] |
Hey, what are you guys doing? |
| [02:07.32] |
Making candy for the neighbors. |
| [02:09.86] |
I'm sorry, who? |
| [02:12.43] |
I'm gonna hang a basket on the door. |
| [02:14.73] |
When the neighbors walk by, they can take a piece. |
| [02:19.10] |
-But we don't know the neighbors. -I do. - |
| [02:21.54] |
There's, let's see, the guy with the mustache... |
| [02:24.91] |
smokes-a-lot lady, some kids I've seen... |
| [02:28.51] |
and the red-haired guy who does not like to be called Rusty. |
| [02:33.18] |
See, this is exactly why I'm making this candy. |
| [02:36.08] |
We can get to know our neighbors. |
| [02:38.19] |
Wouldn't it be easier if we just moved? |
| [02:43.19] |
Good morning! |
| [02:45.59] |
-Somebody's in a good mood. -Well, why shouldn't I be? - |
| [02:49.13] |
I have great friends. I have a wonderful job.. |
| [02:52.33] |
Where you can make out with your assistant. |
| [02:55.60] |
It's not a big deal. |
| [02:56.97] |
We stayed up creating a plan so that us dating won't be a problem. |
| [03:01.24] |
Oh, yeah? What's the plan? |
| [03:06.45] |
We.. We are not... |
| [03:10.69] |
going to let it... |
| [03:12.82] |
be a problem. |
| [03:15.52] |
It took you all night to come up with that plan? |
| [03:18.83] |
Well, you know, we did other stuff too. |
| [03:22.66] |
Did you two...? |
| [03:23.87] |
Oh, I don't sleep with guys on the first date. |
| [03:26.67] |
-Matt Wire, Mark Lynn, Ben Wise.. -Anymore! - |
| [03:36.24] |
Hi, Tag, I have a conference call today, is that correct? |
| [03:39.85] |
-Yes, at 4. -Okay, thank you, that'll be all. - |
| [03:43.59] |
Wait, wait. |
| [03:49.19] |
Did you see that? |
| [03:50.43] |
He had no idea there was something going on between us. |
| [04:01.24] |
-I'd better get back to my desk. -Okay, hard worker. - |
| [04:06.74] |
I'll put that in your evaluation. |
| [04:09.24] |
-My what? -You've been here for two months now. - |
| [04:12.25] |
And your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. |
| [04:16.12] |
But you know, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. |
| [04:26.83] |
-Are you serious? -No, but I've always wanted to do that. - |
| [04:31.47] |
Can you help me clean this up? |
| [04:39.14] |
The basket is totally empty! The neighbors ate it all! |
| [04:42.54] |
Well, either that or... |
| [04:46.61] |
Joey! |
| [04:49.88] |
Yeah? |
| [04:51.22] |
-Did you eat all the neighbor candy? -That was the plan. - |
| [04:54.56] |
When I got to it, there was only a few pieces left. |
| [04:58.03] |
They've come by all day. They love it. |
| [05:00.83] |
They love my candy? |
| [05:03.23] |
-Oh, man, I gotta go make more. -Hey, Mon. - |
| [05:06.47] |
Make some more lasagna too. Something might have happened to a chunk of it. |
| [05:12.34] |
Ross, the neighbors ate all my candy. |
| [05:14.71] |
Mine stole my newspaper. |
| [05:16.51] |
It's like a crime wave. |
| [05:22.25] |
Phoebe, you got a second? |
| [05:24.65] |
Sure. |
| [05:26.65] |
Ever since you told me about that bike... |
| [05:29.32] |
I couldn't stop thinking about it. |
| [05:31.69] |
I mean, everyone should have a first bike, you know? So... |
| [05:39.23] |
Oh, my God, Ross! |
| [05:42.37] |
-You like it? -I love it! - |
| [05:44.47] |
-Yeah? -Oh, oh, God.. |
| [05:46.97] |
And I love you. |
| [05:49.38] |
Not that way. |
| [05:51.51] |
But the bike got you a lot closer. |
| [05:54.35] |
Well, take it downstairs. |
| [05:56.35] |
You know, give it a test drive. |
| [05:58.39] |
Okay. Oh, my God. |
| [06:01.02] |
My first bike! |
| [06:03.22] |
Thank you for the best present I've ever gotten. |
| [06:06.86] |
You're welcome. |
| [06:10.63] |
Oh, and Chandler's about to cry. |
| [06:15.04] |
Am not. |
| [06:20.94] |
|
| [06:22.88] |
Don't worry, I'm brave. |
| [06:24.61] |
I.. I am brave. |
| [06:28.52] |
No, no, no, no! |
| [06:31.59] |
Can you tell me who is there, please? |
| [06:34.92] |
My name's Gary. I live upstairs. |
| [06:39.93] |
-Hi. -Hi. |
| [06:41.43] |
-Do you know what time it is? -It's candy time. - |
| [06:45.47] |
My roommate says they taste like little drops of heaven. |
| [06:48.80] |
Oh, please. |
| [06:51.04] |
Did you hear that? "Little drops of heaven." |
| [06:55.44] |
Four a.m. |
| [06:57.25] |
So can I get some candy? |
| [06:59.65] |
I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work. |
| [07:04.35] |
He does not know that I am not "some of us." |
| [07:09.76] |
I'm sorry, but I'll put some out in the morning. |
| [07:12.96] |
Okay, I'll swing by later. |
| [07:15.60] |
You live in this building? |
| [07:18.63] |
Seems like I'd remember you. |
| [07:23.70] |
Night, Gar. |
| [07:37.95] |
So did you read your evaluation yet? |
| [07:40.49] |
No, it was marked "confidential." |
| [07:43.12] |
I just sent it to human resources. |
| [07:48.53] |
Please, you're kidding, right? I wrote that one as a joke for you. |
| [07:52.63] |
A joke they would appreciate? |
| [07:54.67] |
I'm thinking, no. |
| [07:57.71] |
-What did you say? -I said you were a good kisser... - |
| [08:02.31] |
and that I liked your teeny, tiny tushy. |
| [08:07.62] |
No, not my tushy. |
| [08:10.02] |
It gets worse. |
| [08:11.35] |
About your initiative, I wrote: |
| [08:13.69] |
"He was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision." “ |
| [08:18.33] |
Under problems with performance, I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not." |
| [08:23.50] |
And then.. And then I drew a little smiley face. |
| [08:27.77] |
And then a small pornographic sketch. |
| [08:40.28] |
That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike. |
| [08:43.42] |
When I heard the story, I almost cried. |
| [08:45.92] |
Almost cried, huh? |
| [08:47.69] |
Hear that, Chandler? "Almost" cried. |
| [08:51.26] |
Hey, you cry every time somebody talks about Titanic. |
| [08:54.90] |
Those two had only each other. |
| [08:58.47] |
She really likes it, huh? |
| [09:00.10] |
Oh, yeah. I saw her walking it down the street. |
| [09:02.90] |
She had these flowers in the basket. It was so cute. |
| [09:06.24] |
I saw her this morning, walking it by the park. |
| [09:09.88] |
Wait, she was walking the bike? |
| [09:12.11] |
Both times? |
| [09:15.05] |
-Hey, Phoebe. -Oh, hi! |
| [09:17.49] |
-Hey, so you enjoying the bike? -Oh, uh-huh, so much. - |
| [09:21.99] |
Phoebe, you do know how to ride a bike, don't you? |
| [09:28.90] |
Of course. |
| [09:32.20] |
Can we see you ride it? |
| [09:33.83] |
Okay. |
| [09:49.82] |
See? |
| [09:59.79] |
I told you not to get involved with your assistant. |
| [10:02.80] |
There's no such thing as a secret when it comes to affairs. |
| [10:07.10] |
Did you hear that, Chandler? |
| [10:09.97] |
No such thing. |
| [10:13.04] |
What happened? I'm just eating candy. |
| [10:17.55] |
Maybe it's not that bad. They might not take it the way I meant it. |
| [10:21.58] |
Absolutely, you know? Because "tushy" can mean both ass... |
| [10:25.55] |
and good worker. |
| [10:28.86] |
I just gotta get the thing back. |
| [10:31.16] |
Rach? That sketch you mentioned? |
| [10:33.33] |
Might it have looked a little like this? |
| [10:36.36] |
Oh, my God, Joey! |
| [10:39.90] |
-What is the matter with you? -God! - |
| [10:43.90] |
This little talent came in handy before I could afford porn. |
| [10:53.15] |
Hi, I'm sorry. I know it's after hours, but I really need candy. |
| [10:57.99] |
I'm sorry, I can't help you. See? Rules are rules. |
| [11:01.26] |
Please, I have people coming from out of town today. |
| [11:04.46] |
-I told them all about your candy. -You're kidding. - |
| [11:07.56] |
Out-of-towners, huh? What did you tell them? |
| [11:10.80] |
I told them your candy was absolutely indescribable. |
| [11:14.47] |
Some people have said it's "little drops of heaven." But whatever. |
| [11:20.01] |
-Please, can't you help me out? -Hey, Chandler, do we know that lady? - |
| [11:24.18] |
Isn't she the woman who lives below you and has sex really loud? |
| [11:28.45] |
All right, I'll do it just this once. |
| [11:30.85] |
-But you can't tell anyone. -Please, just give it to me. - |
| [11:34.32] |
Yeah, that's her. |
| [11:37.32] |
-Thank you. -Unbelievable! - |
| [11:39.53] |
I can't believe that sign didn't work. |
| [11:42.16] |
You know what would work? Stop making candy. |
| [11:46.10] |
But they like it. |
| [11:48.24] |
You mean they like you. |
| [11:51.01] |
Maybe. |
| [11:52.37] |
Is that why you became a chef, so people would like you? |
| [11:55.84] |
You want to talk about getting people to like you, huh, funny man? |
| [12:09.62] |
Just remember everything I taught you and you'll be fine. |
| [12:13.06] |
Okay? Here we go. |
| [12:15.03] |
Ready, set.. |
| [12:17.16] |
Wait, this seat is really uncomfortable. |
| [12:20.33] |
Maybe before we start we should just get another one. |
| [12:23.67] |
Perhaps like an airplane seat, or a beanbag chair! |
| [12:28.01] |
You can't get out of this. You have to learn how to ride a bike. |
| [12:32.38] |
Why? Why do I have to learn? |
| [12:36.28] |
-Well, in case of an emergency. -What kind of emergency? - |
| [12:40.89] |
Well, what if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says: |
| [12:45.56] |
"You ride this bike or I'll.. |
| [12:48.53] |
I'll shoot you." |
| [12:51.37] |
I would ring the bell to distract him. |
| [12:53.90] |
Then I would knock the gun away with a Chinese throwing star. |
| [12:58.74] |
Okay, Phoebe, just get on the bike... |
| [13:02.24] |
and, hey, I'll hold you up and push you. Okay? |
| [13:07.41] |
You won't let go? |
| [13:09.18] |
-No. -You swear? - |
| [13:10.68] |
I swear. |
| [13:13.79] |
-Okay. -Come on. |
| [13:18.69] |
Here we go. All right? |
| [13:20.39] |
All right? |
| [13:21.66] |
Feel good? All right, try pedaling. |
| [13:23.83] |
That's it, you're doing great. Yes, take control. |
| [13:27.23] |
Yes, yes, yes! |
| [13:31.84] |
Oh, no! |
| [13:35.48] |
You swore! |
| [13:36.98] |
-I just thought you were doing so well. -I am shocked. Shocked! - |
| [13:46.25] |
It's a legitimate learning technique. |
| [13:49.89] |
Wow. |
| [13:59.80] |
Hey, there's some people outside asking about candy. |
| [14:04.37] |
They'll just have to wait, okay? I only got two hands! |
| [14:08.18] |
-Need some help? -No, you don't know the system. - |
| [14:11.48] |
I don't need nobody messing with the system! |
| [14:14.82] |
By the way, the week before your wedding, you may not see a lot of me. |
| [14:29.40] |
Oh, hello, liar. |
| [14:33.87] |
Look, I'm really sorry I let go of the bike. |
| [14:37.91] |
I could've been killed, you know. |
| [14:41.91] |
I know, I know. |
| [14:45.45] |
But can we please try it again? |
| [14:47.85] |
I mean, you were so close, Phoebe. |
| [14:50.38] |
Well, I would love to... |
| [14:53.72] |
but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. |
| [15:03.40] |
-Phoebe. -What? |
| [15:07.77] |
What the hell? |
| [15:11.14] |
You know what? |
| [15:12.41] |
If you won't learn how to ride, then I'm sorry... |
| [15:15.74] |
-I have to take it back. -But why? - |
| [15:19.08] |
Because it's... |
| [15:22.25] |
It'd be like you having this guitar... |
| [15:25.85] |
and never playing it. |
| [15:27.89] |
Okay, this guitar wants to be played. |
| [15:30.99] |
And this bike wants to be ridden. |
| [15:34.36] |
And if you don't ride it... |
| [15:36.86] |
you're killing its spirit. |
| [15:42.90] |
The bike... |
| [15:45.07] |
is dying. |
| [15:50.81] |
All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay. |
| [15:55.82] |
Great. |
| [15:59.79] |
You're making the bike very happy. |
| [16:02.02] |
Okay, Ross. |
| [16:06.19] |
Please don't die! |
| [16:11.63] |
To get the evaluation before they see it... |
| [16:14.34] |
we gotta get into Zelner's office. He doesn't get in until 10. |
| [16:19.11] |
But his assistant, Betty, comes in early to eat breakfast at her desk. |
| [16:23.34] |
-That's kind of sad. -Yeah, well, Betty's kind of sad. - |
| [16:27.01] |
Which is why I believe I can lure her away with these chocolates. |
| [16:32.32] |
While I distract her, you go in. |
| [16:34.62] |
-Got it. -Let's roll. - |
| [16:37.69] |
Hello, Rachel. You got a minute? |
| [16:40.13] |
Yeah, sure, Mr. Zelner. For you? Anything. Minute. |
| [16:43.66] |
Okay, great. |
| [16:45.73] |
Abort the plan. |
| [16:48.14] |
Actually, I'd like to speak to both of you. |
| [16:51.24] |
Okay. |
| [16:53.57] |
Well, can we get you anything, Mr. Zelner? Maybe some chocolates. |
| [16:59.58] |
No, thanks, but I'll give these to Betty. |
| [17:04.35] |
So, I read your evaluation of Tag. |
| [17:07.32] |
Or, to use his full name, Tag "Sweet Cheeks" Jones? |
| [17:12.39] |
Is something going on with you two? |
| [17:16.06] |
Oh, my God, can you imagine if there was? |
| [17:21.97] |
I mean, what would happen exactly? |
| [17:26.71] |
Well, I'd be forced to file a report. |
| [17:29.41] |
I'd have to consult with the legal department. |
| [17:32.35] |
And your future at the company would be in jeopardy. |
| [17:36.75] |
-Well.. -Mr. Zelner... |
| [17:39.05] |
I filled in that evaluation. |
| [17:41.42] |
-Oh, no.. -Yeah, yeah. |
| [17:43.02] |
I thought it would be funny. |
| [17:46.29] |
You wrote that you have a cute tushy? |
| [17:50.73] |
Yes. |
| [17:52.00] |
I have a weird sense of humor. |
| [17:54.70] |
And I'm kind of strangely proud of my butt. |
| [17:58.64] |
It's kind of a risky joke, Tag. |
| [18:01.51] |
What is this drawing? I can't figure it out. |
| [18:04.41] |
It's upside down, you gotta.. It doesn't matter. |
| [18:09.15] |
It's not like I don't have a sense of humor. |
| [18:11.89] |
Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick every now and then. |
| [18:18.09] |
There's a time and a place. |
| [18:21.73] |
Unless you have a limerick right now. |
| [18:27.03] |
No? Okay. Well, you've got my fax number. |
| [18:38.81] |
I can't believe you did that. That was sweet. |
| [18:41.62] |
-Don't worry about it. -You could've lost your job. - |
| [18:44.75] |
Are you kidding me? With this cute butt, I'd find work. |
| [18:50.16] |
Thank you, you're great. |
| [18:54.19] |
-You know what? -What? |
| [18:56.43] |
I feel great. |
| [18:58.83] |
In fact... |
| [19:05.44] |
What? |
| [19:07.17] |
It's just.. It took me so long to get that desk organized. |
| [19:11.45] |
I'm sorry. |
| [19:14.35] |
There it is. |
| [19:28.16] |
What is going on? |
| [19:29.60] |
We're waiting for the candy. Bring out the candy! |
| [19:33.17] |
Yeah, lady, give us candy. |
| [19:37.10] |
Joey! |
| [19:39.04] |
-What's up, buddy? -What are you doing? - |
| [19:42.91] |
Waiting to get candy. |
| [19:45.15] |
Get in here. |
| [19:47.11] |
Hey, and you cannot smoke in here. |
| [19:54.05] |
Merry Christmas. |
| [19:56.66] |
The candy is coming! I need another 15 minutes for it to cool. |
| [20:02.40] |
All right, everybody, just be quiet. Be quiet! Be quiet! Pipe down! |
| [20:07.23] |
What is the matter with you people? |
| [20:09.57] |
This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. |
| [20:12.91] |
She was making candy so she could get to know all of you... |
| [20:16.58] |
and I'll bet that not one of you can tell me her name. |
| [20:20.25] |
Am I right? |
| [20:22.42] |
Candy Lady? |
| [20:25.59] |
No, not "Candy Lady." |
| [20:28.69] |
If we know it, can we have candy? |
| [20:32.23] |
All right, you know what? |
| [20:34.70] |
Forget it, you've ruined it. |
| [20:36.93] |
Go home. You've ruined it. |
| [20:39.20] |
That's all wrong! You guys ruined everything. You ruined it! |
| [20:49.78] |
-Thank you. -You're welcome. - |
| [20:54.38] |
Did you smoke? |
| [20:56.18] |
No, smokes-a-lot lady blew smoke directly into my mouth. |
| [21:02.59] |
Are you okay? |
| [21:04.19] |
Fine, but it was really scary for a while. |
| [21:06.99] |
Someone slipped a threatening note under the door! |
| [21:10.30] |
Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. Mob mentality or whatever. |
| [21:25.18] |
I can't believe it. I did it. I rode a bike! |
| [21:28.58] |
I never thought I'd be able to do that. Thank you. |
| [21:31.79] |
Oh, hey, don't thank me. Thank yourself. |
| [21:34.35] |
You're the one who faced your fears and ultimately overcame them. |
| [21:38.39] |
Don't be so corny, Ross. It's not an After School Special. |
| [00:00.00] |
undefined |
