| [00:58.-4] |
Power saw kind of got away from me there. |
| [02:31.-4] |
Does anyone else think David Copperfield's cute? |
| [03:07.-1] |
So who's on your list? |
| [05:20.-4] |
It's an electric drill! |
| [13:20.-3] |
I'll get one of the other girls to do it. |
| [13:30.-2] |
Hey,do Monica and Rachel work there? |
| [14:33.-2] |
You do realize she only spins like that on ice? |
| [15:58.-4] |
... but you know,it was pretty cool, you know? |
| [17:04.-1] |
|
| [17:06.-4] |
Oh,come on. We went to Times Square. |
| [19:24.-3] |
Yeah? Well,missy,you better be glad that list is laminated. |
| [20:08.-2] |
Or reimburse you for that one. |
| [00:07.74] |
So what happened? Did a forest tick you off? |
| [00:13.17] |
We always say we need a place for the mail. |
| [00:21.78] |
I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step. |
| [00:28.02] |
You're building a post office? |
| [00:31.46] |
No,an entertainment unit, with a built-in mail cubby. |
| [00:34.93] |
It's a one-day job,max. |
| [00:39.10] |
My word,those are snug! |
| [00:44.31] |
These are my old work pants. |
| [00:46.17] |
Sergio Valente. “ |
| [01:02.16] |
The One With Frank Jr. |
| [01:53.41] |
Hey,Pheebs. Any sign of your brother? |
| [01:55.94] |
No,but he's always late. |
| [01:58.21] |
-I thought you only met him once. -I did. |
| [02:02.28] |
I think it sounds big sister-y, "Frank's always late." |
| [02:06.69] |
Well,relax. He'll be here. |
| [02:09.12] |
I know. I'm just nervous. |
| [02:11.13] |
It's just,Mom's dead, don't talk to my sister... |
| [02:14.60] |
...Grandma's been sleeping a lot lately. |
| [02:17.90] |
It's just the "last-desperate- chance-to-have-a-family" kind of thing. |
| [02:22.20] |
You're sweet to wait with me. |
| [02:23.94] |
Actually,Gunther sent me. You're not allowed to have cups out here. |
| [02:35.72] |
No. But he told me he thinks you're a fox. |
| [02:40.62] |
All right. Janice likes him. |
| [02:42.49] |
In fact,she likes him so much, she put him on her "freebie" list. |
| [02:50.06] |
Her what? |
| [02:51.17] |
We have a deal where we each pick five celebrities we could sleep with... |
| [02:57.14] |
...and the other one can't get mad. |
| [02:59.57] |
The heart of every healthy relationship: |
| [03:02.84] |
Honesty,respect and sex with celebrities. |
| [03:08.68] |
IKim Basinger... |
| [03:10.25] |
... Cindy Crawford,Halle Berry... |
| [03:13.00] |
...Yasmine Bleeth... |
| [03:15.79] |
...and Jessica Rabbit. |
| [03:19.59] |
You do realize that she is a cartoon, and way out of your league? |
| [03:24.13] |
I know. I just wonder if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head. |
| [03:29.80] |
Who would yours be? |
| [03:31.54] |
First,I need a boyfriend. Then I can have a list. |
| [03:35.21] |
It's just a game,Mon. |
| [03:39.11] |
|
| [03:40.72] |
I don't know. I guess Chris O'Donnell,John F. IKennedy Jr... |
| [03:45.12] |
... Daniel Day-Lewis,Sting and Parker Stevenson. |
| [03:50.53] |
Spiderman? |
| [03:52.39] |
Hardy Boy. |
| [03:54.70] |
-Peter Parker. -Thank you. |
| [03:58.20] |
What about you,honey? Who'd be on your list? |
| [04:01.00] |
That kind of thing requires some serious thought. |
| [04:04.37] |
First,I'd divide my prospective candidates into categories. |
| [04:08.68] |
What a geek! |
| [04:11.75] |
Everybody,this is Frank! My half brother,Frank! |
| [04:14.92] |
This is everybody. |
| [04:16.52] |
-This is Ross. -How are you? |
| [04:23.19] |
This is Monica. |
| [04:27.23] |
And this is Rachel. |
| [04:32.67] |
I'm gonna get coffee for us. |
| [04:34.44] |
Hey,how do you guys get anything done? |
| [04:37.61] |
We don't,really. |
| [04:40.84] |
Do you guys have big plans? |
| [04:42.91] |
Oh,yeah. We're gonna connect and bond and everything. |
| [04:47.02] |
I thought we could go down to Times Square and pick up some ninja stars. |
| [04:51.92] |
My friend,Larry,he wants me to take a picture of a hooker. |
| [04:57.59] |
We really don't take advantage of living in the city. |
| [05:15.04] |
Oh,sorry. Did I get you? |
| [05:18.45] |
No,you didn't "get" me! |
| [05:21.38] |
You "get" me,you kill me! |
| [05:24.42] |
Calm down! Do you want this unit or not? |
| [05:27.09] |
I do not want this unit! |
| [05:29.62] |
You should've told me before. I'm not a mind reader. |
| [05:34.40] |
And we're out of beer. I'm going to Monica's. |
| [05:38.10] |
Fine! |
| [05:46.64] |
|
| [05:50.85] |
I saw down at the hardware store,they got those designer tiles on sale... |
| [05:55.78] |
...if you wanna redo your bathroom floor. |
| [05:58.52] |
What's wrong with my bathroom floor? |
| [06:00.79] |
Nothing. It's just old and dingy, that's all. |
| [06:04.63] |
I highly doubt that. |
| [06:08.10] |
If you move your hamper... |
| [06:10.87] |
...you see how the tile used to be. |
| [06:16.47] |
I can't live like this! What are we gonna do? |
| [06:19.44] |
Relax. Here,hold this. |
| [06:21.11] |
This old stuff comes right up. I'll show you. |
| [06:26.51] |
A little more than I wanted to see. |
| [06:31.82] |
Look at that! Every inch of this is glued down! |
| [06:35.00] |
It'd take forever to pry this up. You should just leave it. |
| [06:40.50] |
I can't leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor! |
| [06:53.64] |
There. There you go. |
| [06:56.58] |
Yeah,that's nice. |
| [06:58.01] |
We can put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon! |
| [07:11.49] |
I know what I wanted to ask you. Can you roll your tongue? |
| [07:15.86] |
Because I can and my mom couldn't. |
| [07:18.73] |
And I figured that was something I got from our dad. |
| [07:22.67] |
Well,wait,you mean like this? |
| [07:26.21] |
Yeah,you can do it too. Yeah. |
| [07:29.68] |
You're not doing it. |
| [07:31.35] |
Oh,right. Okay. Yeah,my mom could and I can't. |
| [07:36.08] |
We don't have that. |
| [07:43.69] |
When's your birthday? |
| [07:45.13] |
|
| [07:46.93] |
I know a guy who's the 18th. |
| [07:51.13] |
That's close. |
| [07:54.30] |
When's yours? |
| [07:55.60] |
|
| [08:01.81] |
That's the same month as Halloween. |
| [08:08.58] |
So what kind of things do you like to do at home? |
| [08:12.65] |
Melt stuff. |
| [08:18.49] |
-Okay,I've got three of my five. -Three of your five what? |
| [08:22.66] |
Celebrities I'm allowed to sleep with. |
| [08:25.67] |
God,you're giving this a lot of thought. |
| [08:28.14] |
Hey,it's hard,okay? I only have two spots left. |
| [08:30.94] |
All right. Who you got it narrowed down to? |
| [08:34.31] |
Elizabeth Hurley. |
| [08:36.34] |
Very attractive. |
| [08:37.68] |
Forgiving. |
| [08:41.58] |
Susan Sarandon. |
| [08:44.92] |
You know what? She's too political. |
| [08:47.19] |
She'd probably make you donate four cans of food first. |
| [08:53.29] |
And lsabella Rossellini. |
| [08:56.20] |
Very hot. Very sexy. |
| [08:57.67] |
But she's too international. She's never gonna be around. |
| [09:02.94] |
-So? -So you gotta play the odds. |
| [09:05.44] |
Pick somebody who's gonna be in the country all the time. |
| [09:09.18] |
Yeah. Because that's why you won't get lsabella Rossellini. Geography. |
| [09:23.89] |
Okay. So by "melting" you meant melting. |
| [09:29.46] |
So is it,like,art? |
| [09:30.87] |
Yeah,you can melt art. |
| [09:34.74] |
Hey,can I use your phone? |
| [09:37.54] |
-Sure. You want to call your mom? -No,I want to melt it. |
| [09:42.48] |
Oh. Well,not right now. |
| [09:51.22] |
I'm gonna go to bed. The fumes are giving me a headache. So.... |
| [10:00.00] |
Good night,"bro." |
| [10:02.90] |
Good night. |
| [10:08.54] |
Here. |
| [10:10.37] |
Just in case. |
| [10:12.44] |
Oh,excellent! |
| [10:27.22] |
-What kind of karate is that? -No kind. |
| [10:32.13] |
He just makes it up. |
| [10:34.56] |
-How's it going with you guys? -So far it kind of blows. |
| [10:42.40] |
I don't know,I just thought he'd feel more like a brother. |
| [10:46.11] |
Like you and Ross. Close and connected and.... |
| [10:48.74] |
We're close now. You wouldn't believe the years... |
| [10:51.48] |
...of noogies,and wedgies,and flying wedgies,and atomic wedgies and.... |
| [10:57.82] |
That's when the waistband goes over your head. |
| [11:03.59] |
We drove each other crazy playing the shadow game. |
| [11:06.09] |
-How do you play the shadow game? -How do you play the shadow game? |
| [11:09.13] |
-I just asked you. -I just asked you. |
| [11:11.50] |
I don't have time for this. |
| [11:13.77] |
-That is what the game is. -You just gave up really quickly. |
| [11:20.17] |
-Seen Joey? -What's the matter? |
| [11:22.01] |
Oh,just this! |
| [11:29.38] |
It's my fault,really,because the couch is where we keep the varnish. |
| [11:35.86] |
Somebody wanna hand me one of those tiles? |
| [11:40.73] |
-What's going on? -He's retiling my floor. |
| [11:44.57] |
Spackle boy! |
| [11:47.30] |
-Get up! -You started this,you'll finish it! |
| [11:50.74] |
He started mine first! |
| [11:52.51] |
Build the unit,Cinderellie Lay the tile,Cinderellie |
| [12:00.75] |
Big octopus. |
| [12:11.23] |
Oh,my God! I totally forgot! |
| [12:14.33] |
Well,can't someone else do it? |
| [12:16.86] |
But I have company. |
| [12:22.00] |
Look,that's all right. I'll come in. |
| [12:25.84] |
I'm sorry, but I have to go into work. |
| [12:28.51] |
It's one of my regulars who's insisting that I do him,so.... |
| [12:32.28] |
Hey,what kind of work do you do? |
| [12:35.22] |
I'm a masseuse. |
| [12:36.52] |
I give people massages and stuff. |
| [12:38.79] |
You work at one of those massage parlors? |
| [12:43.69] |
Well,you know,we don't call it that. But,yeah. |
| [12:50.26] |
That's wild. |
| [12:52.57] |
No,I had no idea. |
| [12:54.77] |
Alrighty. |
| [12:57.57] |
I'll be back in a little bit. |
| [12:59.31] |
Unless you want to come with me. |
| [13:01.48] |
You mean,like,watch? |
| [13:04.41] |
No. No,you can get one yourself. It'll be on the house. |
| [13:08.65] |
What are big sisters for? |
| [13:11.22] |
Well,I don't think this. You know? |
| [13:14.39] |
No. No,no. I wouldn't do you myself. |
| [13:16.66] |
I mean,that would be weird. |
| [13:22.46] |
This is so much fun! |
| [13:26.00] |
Are you excited? |
| [13:35.14] |
It's beautiful! |
| [13:37.18] |
It's like the first bathroom floor there ever was! |
| [13:42.62] |
What are you going in there for? |
| [13:45.12] |
You want,like,a number? |
| [13:51.33] |
Hi. Bye. |
| [13:54.53] |
Okay. I'm done with my choices. |
| [13:57.33] |
These are final. |
| [14:00.77] |
-Well,it's about time. -Yeah. Very official. |
| [14:03.94] |
Oh,yeah. Well,you know,Chandler printed it up on his computer. |
| [14:08.44] |
And who laminated it? |
| [14:11.81] |
That was me. |
| [14:14.05] |
All right,let me see. |
| [14:16.35] |
"Uma Thurman,Winona Ryder, Elizabeth Hurley... |
| [14:20.39] |
... Michelle Pfeiffer... |
| [14:22.72] |
... Dorothy Hamill"? |
| [14:30.23] |
Hey,it's my list! |
| [14:39.17] |
|
| [14:45.81] |
-What's going on? -She broke my arm! |
| [14:48.52] |
-He touched my fanny. -She touched mine first! |
| [14:51.35] |
That's my job! |
| [14:53.09] |
So what's the deal? I can have sex with you but I can't touch you? |
| [14:58.56] |
-You can't have sex with her! -Did you think I was a hooker? |
| [15:02.10] |
No,okay. I know. You're a masseuse. It's cool. I'm not a cop! |
| [15:08.94] |
Ask Mr. Wiffler if he can wait for five minutes. |
| [15:12.21] |
Fine. |
| [15:13.87] |
I don't like you. |
| [15:17.28] |
So that's what you thought I did? God! |
| [15:21.55] |
That's not what I do! |
| [15:23.75] |
Wait,that's not what you do? |
| [15:27.02] |
No! |
| [15:29.06] |
Why would you think that? |
| [15:30.86] |
I don't know. This is the city, you know? I just.... |
| [15:34.46] |
I mean... |
| [15:35.93] |
... I don't know. |
| [15:38.87] |
Whatever. It's the perfect end to the perfect weekend anyway. |
| [15:44.14] |
Oh,wait. |
| [15:45.54] |
No,you're right. No,it was perfect. |
| [15:49.41] |
I can't believe I screwed it up so bad. |
| [15:53.78] |
You thought it was perfect? |
| [15:55.48] |
Well,no,maybe it wasn't perfect... |
| [16:00.72] |
Because we had all those great talks,you know? |
| [16:08.16] |
Which ones in particular were great for you? |
| [16:11.90] |
Well,you know,about the tongue thing,you know? |
| [16:14.77] |
And how I told you about my likes and my dislikes. |
| [16:20.07] |
How I like to melt stuff,and how I dislike stuff that doesn't melt. |
| [16:26.18] |
|
| [16:28.62] |
I feel like I can really talk to you because you're my sister,you know? |
| [16:36.26] |
Yeah. I guess I do. |
| [16:39.13] |
And then I go feel your friend up and make you mad at me. |
| [16:44.20] |
Well,I wasn't hopping mad, you know? |
| [16:48.20] |
You hopped a little bit. |
| [16:52.34] |
Yeah,I'm really sorry. You know,I'm really.... |
| [16:56.54] |
Okay. |
| [17:00.15] |
Well,this is my favorite part of the weekend. Right now. This. |
| [17:08.62] |
We found ninja stars. I almost get my arm broken by a hooker |
| [17:11.89] |
She's not a hooker. |
| [17:13.86] |
When I tell my friends about her, she will be. |
| [17:23.54] |
On 3! |
| [17:24.71] |
|
| [17:26.84] |
Why don't we just go on 2? |
| [17:28.68] |
Why 2? |
| [17:29.84] |
Because it's faster. |
| [17:31.51] |
I could've counted to 3 four times without all the "2" talk. |
| [17:35.22] |
-All right,but in the future -Heavy thing! Not getting lighter! |
| [17:40.69] |
|
| [17:42.32] |
So we are going with two? |
| [17:53.67] |
A good job,Joe. |
| [17:56.54] |
Wow. |
| [17:58.27] |
It's big. |
| [18:01.28] |
So big it actually makes our doors look smaller. |
| [18:05.01] |
Maybe my ruler's wrong. |
| [18:06.58] |
Maybe all the rulers are wrong. |
| [18:09.78] |
It's not that bad. So it blocks a little of your door,a little of mine. |
| [18:14.46] |
I got a better idea. |
| [18:15.76] |
How about it blocks none of my door, and a lot of your door? |
| [18:22.56] |
Listen,before I forget, that side is still wet. |
| [18:30.37] |
Let me just see if I've got this right. |
| [18:32.71] |
So this is a half-caf,double-tall, easy hazelnut... |
| [18:36.38] |
... nonfat,no foam,with whip, extra-hot latte,right? |
| [18:41.55] |
Okay. Great. |
| [18:43.72] |
You freak. |
| [18:51.39] |
Thank you. |
| [18:52.66] |
A coffee to go,please. |
| [18:58.57] |
Isabella Rossellini! |
| [19:00.17] |
Are you serious? Oh,my God! |
| [19:03.00] |
Damn! I cannot believe I took her off my list! |
| [19:06.74] |
Why? Because otherwise you'd go for it? |
| [19:11.68] |
Yeah,maybe. |
| [19:13.91] |
You lie. |
| [19:16.08] |
You don't think I'd go up to her? |
| [19:18.15] |
It took you 10 years to finally admit you liked me. |
| [19:29.60] |
You know what,honey? You go ahead. We'll call her an alternate. |
| [19:35.87] |
Hold my cruller. |
| [19:39.61] |
Are you really gonna let him do this? |
| [19:41.78] |
He's about to go hit on lsabella Rossellini. |
| [19:44.18] |
I'm just sorry we don't got popcorn. |
| [19:52.29] |
I'm Ross. |
| [19:54.02] |
You don't know me, but I'm a big,big fan of yours. |
| [19:57.83] |
I mean... |
| [19:59.49] |
|
| [20:04.03] |
I was wondering if I could maybe buy you a cup of coffee. |
| [20:12.51] |
Aren't you with that girl over there? |
| [20:19.31] |
Well,yeah,kind of. |
| [20:21.05] |
But that's okay. We have an understanding. |
| [20:24.02] |
We each have this list of five famous people,and you were one of mine. |
| [20:29.06] |
So I'm allowed to sleep with you. |
| [20:33.03] |
It's flattering. |
| [20:37.33] |
I don't know |
| [20:38.40] |
Wait. Wait,lsabella. |
| [20:41.57] |
Don't dismiss this so fast. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. |
| [20:46.27] |
Yeah,for you. |
| [20:49.78] |
Is that the list? |
| [20:51.11] |
-Yes. -Can I see it? |
| [20:53.51] |
-Come on. -But Okay. |
| [20:56.52] |
I'm not on the list! |
| [20:57.92] |
But that's not the final draft. |
| [21:01.05] |
It's laminated. |
| [21:04.89] |
Okay,see,you were on my list. |
| [21:07.76] |
But then my friend,Chandler... |
| [21:13.07] |
... brought up the point that you are international. |
| [21:16.30] |
So I bumped you for Winona Ryder. Local. |
| [21:20.14] |
You know,it's ironic, because I have a list... |
| [21:23.78] |
...of five goofy coffeehouse guys. |
| [21:26.88] |
And yesterday,I just bumped you for that guy over there. |
| [21:39.06] |
We're just gonna be friends. |
| [21:46.40] |
You know what? |
| [21:48.90] |
Bet you I could fit in there. |
| [21:53.01] |
I got five bucks says you can't. |
| [21:56.81] |
Get out your checkbook,mister. |
| [21:59.75] |
Oh,I think I have the cash. |
| [22:07.69] |
You are dog,man! |
| [22:10.42] |
I totally fit! |
| [22:12.76] |
Yeah. You got me. |
| [22:15.10] |
I'm out five big ones. |
| [22:20.90] |
There you go. |
| [22:22.94] |
Thank you. |
| [22:28.21] |
Oh,well,hello,Mr. Lincoln! |
| [22:31.68] |
Better luck next time,buddy! |
| [22:34.38] |
And the drinks are on me! |
