| [00:03.75] |
- Hey Joey,how'd the audition go? - Incredible! |
| [00:06.22] |
I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was. |
| [00:09.02] |
- Who? - All right. I'll give you one hint. |
| [00:12.29] |
Warren Beatty. |
| [00:15.76] |
Yeah,there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem. |
| [00:19.30] |
See,I,uh,had to kiss this guy. |
| [00:21.87] |
'Cause he was just so darn cute. |
| [00:29.47] |
Well,hey. You're an actor,I say you just suck it up and do it. |
| [00:37.85] |
Or you just do it. |
| [00:40.42] |
I did do it,I'm a professional. |
| [00:42.32] |
Then what's the problem? |
| [00:43.39] |
See after the scene,Mr. Beatty comes up to me and says |
| [00:46.56] |
'good actor,bad kisser'. “ |
| [00:49.13] |
Can you believe that,me not a good kisser, |
| [00:52.60] |
that's like,like Mother Theresa,not a good mother. |
| [00:58.44] |
Well,come on,who cares what that guy thinks. What does Warren Beatty know about kissing Ooh. |
| [01:07.61] |
The One With Barry And Mindy's Wedding |
| [01:15.87] |
|
| [01:56.86] |
Hey,what did your agent say? |
| [01:58.53] |
Yep,this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. |
| [02:04.04] |
Man,I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. |
| [02:06.67] |
Oh,okay,one of you girls come over here and kiss me. |
| [02:09.74] |
- What,forget it! - Yeah,right. |
| [02:12.21] |
Come on,I need your help here. |
| [02:14.35] |
All right. I'll do it,I kissed him before I can do it again. |
| [02:18.25] |
You see this,this is a friend. |
| [02:20.69] |
Uh-huh,let's go. |
| [02:22.52] |
Oh,wait I have gum. |
| [02:25.76] |
Okay. |
| [02:35.40] |
Good,very good,firm but tender. |
| [02:38.07] |
I'd recommend you to a friend. |
| [02:41.67] |
Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem? |
| [02:43.81] |
Joey,you know, maybe your just not used to kissing men, |
| [02:46.38] |
maybe you just tensed up a little, |
| [02:48.65] |
maybe that's what you need to work on. |
| [02:50.72] |
Yeah,that makes sense. |
| [02:57.89] |
Over my dead body! |
| [03:03.29] |
And I'll be using his dead body as a shield. |
| [03:10.77] |
Come on out,honey! I'm telling you look good! |
| [03:13.91] |
Tell her she looks good,tell her she looks good. |
| [03:22.31] |
Oh my God, |
| [03:26.45] |
you look so good! |
| [03:29.82] |
I can not believe I have to walk down the aisle in front of 200 people |
| [03:34.13] |
looking like something you drink when your nauseous. … |
| [03:38.30] |
So don't,I don't see why we have to go to this thing anyway, it's your ex-fiancee's wedding. |
| [03:43.60] |
Because I promised Mindy I would. |
| [03:45.87] |
Yeah,well you promised Barry,you'd marry him. |
| [03:50.74] |
Look you guys,I have to go,I'm the Maid-of-Honor. |
| [03:53.84] |
And besides you know what I just need |
| [03:56.15] |
to be in a room again with these people and feel good about myself. |
| [04:08.43] |
Ooh-oh! Someone's wearing the same clothes they had on last night. Someone get a little action? |
| [04:12.43] |
- I may have. - Woo-hoo,stuud! |
| [04:16.37] |
- What's she look like? - Well,we haven't exactly met, |
| [04:18.64] |
we just stayed up all night talking on the internet. |
| [04:22.31] |
Woo-hoo,geeek! |
| [04:24.94] |
I like this girl,okay, I seriously like this girl, |
| [04:28.11] |
you now how sometimes I tend get a little defended and quipy... |
| [04:31.85] |
|
| [04:34.12] |
Well she totally called me on it,okay. She said,'cut it out,get real', |
| [04:39.36] |
and I did. |
| [04:42.56] |
Wow! What's that like? |
| [04:45.70] |
It's like this, |
| [04:47.16] |
me,no jokes. |
| [04:50.64] |
All right,stop it,you're freaking me out. |
| [04:57.17] |
- All right,I'll see you guys later. - Bye,Richard. |
| [05:01.05] |
Bye sweetie, |
| [05:02.48] |
- I love you. - I love you,too. |
| [05:12.12] |
I think my boyfriend ever so dreamy, |
| [05:16.03] |
I wonder what our wedding's gonna be like. |
| [05:19.73] |
What are you talking about? What wedding? |
| [05:22.17] |
Come on,like you never talk about that. |
| [05:24.44] |
Nooo! Never! |
| [05:26.50] |
I mean,we're living in the moment. |
| [05:28.91] |
God,it is so nice for once to not have to get all hung up on 'Where is this going?' |
| [05:33.28] |
- Afraid to ask him? - Could not be more terrified. |
| [05:36.65] |
Well,I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, |
| [05:39.58] |
give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum. |
| [05:47.73] |
Where's Benny? |
| [05:49.23] |
There he is! |
| [05:50.76] |
Where's Benny, |
| [05:53.03] |
there he is. |
| [05:57.17] |
Awww! You know that's probably why babies learn to talk, |
| [05:59.50] |
so they can tell grown ups to cut it out. |
| [06:03.84] |
Hey,you know I got a question for you. Just a little thing,no pressure. |
| [06:08.48] |
Okay. |
| [06:10.85] |
Did you ever,uh,like,think about the future? |
| [06:15.42] |
Sure I do. |
| [06:17.72] |
Yeah,am I in it? |
| [06:19.79] |
Honey,you are it. |
| [06:23.46] |
Oh God,you are about to get sooo lucky. |
| [06:31.70] |
Keep talkin'. |
| [06:32.84] |
Well,uh,sometimes I think about selling my practice, |
| [06:38.64] |
we could move to France, |
| [06:41.71] |
make French toast. |
| [06:44.88] |
Okay,so,uh,we're in France, |
| [06:49.62] |
we're making the toast. … |
| [06:52.86] |
Do you see a little bassinet in the corner? |
| [06:56.56] |
Like a hound? |
| [07:00.20] |
Not a basset,a bassinet. |
| [07:05.74] |
You really need the bassinet? |
| [07:08.71] |
Well,I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog. |
| [07:14.38] |
Do you,uh,do you,do you not see kids in our future. |
| [07:17.35] |
Oh,hey,I love children, |
| [07:21.52] |
I have children. |
| [07:23.62] |
I just don't want to be 70 |
| [07:25.12] |
when our kids go off to college, and our lives can finally start. … |
| [07:32.56] |
Look I want you,now. |
| [07:38.37] |
That's Great. |
| [07:40.54] |
You know we don't need to talk about this now. |
| [07:42.41] |
Really,I mean this is, is so way,way,way,in the future, |
| [07:46.74] |
I'm talkin' hovercrafts and apes taking over the planet. |
| [07:54.69] |
Come on,Chandler,I want this part soo much. |
| [07:58.56] |
Just one kiss,I won't tell anyone. |
| [08:01.33] |
Joey,no means no! |
| [08:08.73] |
I'm sorry we,we don't have your sheep. |
| [08:15.81] |
Aww,Rach,I think you look cute |
| [08:19.28] |
And you,uh,you, |
| [08:22.21] |
- you I could eat with a spoon - Get away from me I said no! |
| [08:28.52] |
- Richard buzzed. He's waiting downstairs. - Oh,Richard's here. |
| [08:31.39] |
I should run down say bye to him |
| [08:41.20] |
So how's your date with your cyberchick going. |
| [08:43.50] |
Ooh,hey,what is all that? |
| [08:48.17] |
See,she likes art, |
| [08:51.08] |
and I like funny words. |
| [08:54.58] |
|
| [08:57.38] |
It means we're holding hands. |
| [09:01.42] |
Are you the cutest? |
| [09:03.09] |
I'm afraid I might just be. |
| [09:07.89] |
You know,what I think is so great that you are totally into this person |
| [09:11.73] |
and yet for all you know she could be like 90 years old,or have two heads, … |
| [09:17.13] |
or. It could be a guy. |
| [09:19.87] |
Okay,it's not a guy,all right,I know her. |
| [09:28.35] |
Man,I got this close to him and Monica kneed me in the back. |
| [09:33.75] |
What's going on? |
| [09:37.76] |
Oh,well. Just ask her how long she's gonna live. |
| [09:40.32] |
Women live longer than men. |
| [09:45.90] |
How do you not fall down more? |
| [09:49.80] |
Okay,ask her 'What is her current method of birth control?' |
| [09:53.44] |
All right. |
| [09:58.31] |
"My husband is sleeping with his secretary." “ |
| [10:02.28] |
She's married! |
| [10:04.78] |
Well at least we know she's a woman. |
| [10:09.09] |
I can't believe she's married. |
| [10:11.29] |
Aw,man I'm sorry. |
| [10:15.29] |
This must be very tough for ya,huh. |
| [10:21.60] |
So,I read this article in the paper the other day that says you're not supposed to throw rice at weddings, |
| [10:26.94] |
because when pigeons eat rice it kills them. |
| [10:29.21] |
Oh,that's why you never see pigeons at sushi bars. |
| [10:34.04] |
- See,we're having fun. - Oh,absolutely. |
| [10:37.82] |
Yeah,you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not going to be thinking about. |
| [10:41.39] |
Neither am I. |
| [10:43.52] |
Hi,there. Are you all right? |
| [10:46.06] |
Yeah,when I was in the bathroom I saw the window that I crawled out of at my wedding, |
| [10:50.93] |
and God,I just started thinking that I shouldn't be here,you know I shouldn't, |
| [10:54.23] |
people are going to be looking at me and judging me and, and thinking about the last time. |
| [10:58.54] |
Sweetie,it's be gonna okay,all right. It's a wedding, |
| [11:01.24] |
generally people focus on the bride. |
| [11:04.21] |
God I know,you're right. |
| [11:05.24] |
All rightie,everybody look at me. Good. |
| [11:08.01] |
All right,its time. Bridesmaids and ushers let's see two lines,thank you. |
| [11:14.28] |
Okay,I'll see you after the thing. |
| [11:16.12] |
- Okay,good luck - Thank you |
| [11:29.13] |
Why the hell didn't you tell me! |
| [11:30.83] |
I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do |
| [11:32.37] |
stand up and shout 'Hey,Rachel,your butt is showing!' |
| [11:35.71] |
Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. |
| [11:37.91] |
I think the only thing that tops that was,was, |
| [11:41.58] |
was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. |
| [11:45.05] |
I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. |
| [11:47.82] |
Oh my God,my entire life is flashing before my eyes. |
| [11:49.82] |
Rach,hey look,I remember that,it wasn't so bad. |
| [11:52.89] |
Oh Ross,would you stop, you got me, I'm dating you. |
| [11:57.43] |
Rachel! |
| [11:59.16] |
Oh hi,Mr. Wineburg,hi Mrs. Wineburg. |
| [12:01.37] |
It's so wonderful to see you again,my dear, |
| [12:03.90] |
in fact I hardly expected to see so much. |
| [12:09.14] |
You told me you didn't see anything. |
| [12:11.14] |
I tell ya a lot things! |
| [12:13.74] |
Well it's wonderful to have you up and about,again,dear. |
| [12:17.85] |
Stay well. |
| [12:20.58] |
Okay,now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today. |
| [12:24.72] |
Rach! Rach! |
| [12:27.49] |
- Oh my God,I'm married! - I know. |
| [12:30.13] |
I'm Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter hyphen Farber. |
| [12:33.23] |
Oh honey,I'm so proud of you,Min. |
| [12:35.93] |
Min. |
| [12:37.87] |
Oh Rach,you're still here, |
| [12:39.77] |
at our wedding,they were packing up the chopped liver about now. |
| [12:43.41] |
Yeah,I love that story. |
| [12:46.84] |
Um,I got a question for you guys. |
| [12:48.58] |
Why do people keep is saying that is good to see me up and about? |
| [12:52.32] |
Well uh,after you ran out on your wedding, |
| [12:55.19] |
Barry's parents told people that you were sort of....insane. … |
| [13:00.79] |
Insane! |
| [13:02.16] |
...from the syphilis. |
| [13:04.03] |
What? |
| [13:06.26] |
Yeah,what are they gonna say you didn't love me anymore. Come on. |
| [13:11.94] |
Angela? Joey Tribiani. |
| [13:15.37] |
Listen,what are ya doing tonight? |
| [13:18.81] |
I know your seeing that guy, I was thinking maybe you could bring him..... |
| [13:22.85] |
Hello? Hello? |
| [13:35.59] |
Aren't you gonna answer her, that's like the tenth bing-bong message she sent. |
| [13:39.56] |
- She wants to know what's wrong? - What's wrong? What's wrong? |
| [13:41.63] |
You're married that's what's wrong. |
| [13:46.94] |
- Oh,my. - What? |
| [13:49.44] |
She wants to meet you in person. |
| [13:51.18] |
Hey,look,Phoebe I wanted to meet her in person too, |
| [13:54.04] |
okay,but she's married,she has a husband. |
| [13:56.65] |
What if the husband person is the wrong guy,and you are the right guy. |
| [14:00.52] |
I mean you don't get chances like this all the time, |
| [14:02.89] |
if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself |
| [14:05.39] |
when your 80,which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip. … |
| [14:10.79] |
Okay,I'll do it! |
| [14:12.83] |
Oh,yeah! Okay! Great! |
| [14:14.63] |
Go,man,go put on your shoes,and,and march out there and meet her! |
| [14:18.80] |
Oh,wait,no,no you have to take a shower,'cause,eww. |
| [14:22.37] |
No,you know what you have to answer her,answer her first. |
| [14:25.34] |
No,no,you know what make some coffee 'cause its too much. |
| [14:33.08] |
Okay,one more,please. Come on, I'm gonna get it in this time,I will. |
| [14:36.59] |
Okay,last chance. |
| [14:44.23] |
Again,I'm sorry. |
| [14:50.23] |
You know what,maybe I don't need to have children. |
| [14:53.87] |
You know maybe I just think I do because that is what society, |
| [14:57.84] |
and by that I mean my mom, … |
| [15:01.14] |
has always convinced me that I... … |
| [15:07.78] |
I do, |
| [15:09.45] |
I have to have children,I'm sorry. I just do. |
| [15:14.46] |
Yo! Can I have your attention,please, |
| [15:17.39] |
Best Man,making a toast here. |
| [15:19.83] |
Thank you. |
| [15:22.33] |
I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel... |
| [15:28.91] |
|
| [15:29.91] |
What,you hired the same band I can't use the same speech. |
| [15:33.58] |
Thank you,thank you very much. |
| [15:36.38] |
Anyway,I wish you both a wonderful life together. |
| [15:41.08] |
And Rachel... |
| [15:46.02] |
its not a lot of women would've had the guts to come back here tonight, |
| [15:49.13] |
and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out! |
| [16:00.04] |
Uh,I like to,uh,to add something to that... |
| [16:02.37] |
- Why are you adding,why are you adding,why are you adding,why are you adding? |
| [16:05.81] |
Most of you don't know me,I'm Rachel's boyfriend. |
| [16:09.91] |
Oh dear God. |
| [16:12.25] |
Ross, … |
| [16:13.55] |
uh and uh,I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. |
| [16:21.02] |
And,uh,for the record |
| [16:23.43] |
she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. … |
| [16:29.77] |
What are you doing I'm serious. |
| [16:33.17] |
Uh,the reason she walked out on,on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, |
| [16:40.38] |
which incidentally worked out pretty well for me |
| [16:50.82] |
Cheers! |
| [16:53.26] |
- See you in the parking lot. - No,Rach! |
| [16:58.66] |
And once again she is out of here. |
| [17:01.43] |
|
| [17:17.28] |
Ya,know what Barr,I'm not gonna leave. |
| [17:20.42] |
I probably should,but I'm not, |
| [17:23.69] |
see 'cause I promised myself that I would make it through at least *one* of your weddings. |
| [17:31.86] |
See now,tonight,all I really wanted was |
| [17:34.43] |
to make it though this evening with a little bit of grace and dignity. |
| [17:40.77] |
Well,I guess we can all agree that's not gonna happen. |
| [17:47.91] |
There's nothing really left to say except.... |
| [17:59.49] |
"Her name was Lola. She was a showgirl. |
| [18:07.56] |
With yellow feathers,feathers in her hair,and a dress cut down to there. |
| [18:15.14] |
|
| [18:16.84] |
- Marenge,- "...marenge,thank you honey, |
| [18:19.54] |
and do the cha-cha. |
| [18:22.35] |
And while she like to be a star,Tony always tended bar. |
| [18:27.28] |
At the,wait,wait,everybody. |
| [18:29.69] |
|
| [18:33.39] |
|
| [18:36.83] |
|
| [18:38.73] |
|
| [18:41.23] |
|
| [18:52.48] |
Okay,I'll do it. |
| [18:56.38] |
You'll do what? |
| [18:57.41] |
If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is. |
| [19:01.55] |
Oh my God! |
| [19:03.25] |
If I have to I'll,I'll do all again, |
| [19:05.76] |
I'll do the 4 o'clock feeding thing, |
| [19:08.19] |
I'll go to the P.T.A. meetings, |
| [19:10.33] |
I'll coach the soccer team. |
| [19:13.16] |
- Really? - Yeah,if I have to. |
| [19:16.83] |
Monica, |
| [19:20.77] |
I don't wanna lose you, … |
| [19:23.27] |
so if I have to do it all over again, then I will. |
| [19:31.15] |
You're the most wonderful man. |
| [19:36.00] |
And if you hadn't of said 'if I have to' like seventeen times, |
| [19:42.89] |
then I'd be saying 'okay,let's do it.' … |
| [19:47.66] |
But you're not. |
| [19:51.74] |
Oh my God, |
| [19:54.77] |
I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say. |
| [20:00.51] |
I wanna have a baby, |
| [20:05.75] |
but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one. |
| [20:12.62] |
God. |
| [20:19.60] |
I love you. |
| [20:30.57] |
Me too. |
| [20:39.08] |
So what now? |
| [20:42.65] |
I guess we just |
| [20:45.59] |
keep dancing. … |
| [21:04.07] |
Oh,hey,I have a question,where is she? |
| [21:13.68] |
Ooh,oh,oh,that's her. |
| [21:14.82] |
Yeah,'cause life's just that kind. |
| [21:18.62] |
Chandler,you gotta stop staring at the door. It's like a watched pot, |
| [21:22.36] |
you know if you keep looking at it then the door is to, never gonna boil. |
| [21:26.70] |
I think what you have to do is try not to... |
| [21:35.47] |
Oh my God! |
| [21:54.16] |
OH.....MY.....GOD!! |
| [22:06.54] |
All right I've been feeling incredibly guilty about this, |
| [22:10.24] |
because I wanna be a good friend, and dammit I am a good friend. So just,just shut up and close your eyes. |
| [22:21.75] |
Wow,you are a good friend, |
| [22:23.92] |
'course the audition was this morning,and I didn't get it. |
| [22:28.59] |
But that was a hell of a kiss. |
| [22:30.83] |
Rachel is a very lucky girl. |
