| [00:35.-1] |
And I'm not sure we are. |
| [02:20.-4] |
I'm sorry. I didn't know. |
| [04:20.-2] |
No,no,not a party. |
| [04:36.-4] |
This isn't your first surprise party,is it,sir? |
| [05:59.-2] |
-What? -lt will be like we're gal pals. |
| [07:11.-1] |
Okay,that's Ross. All right. |
| [07:14.-1] |
Okay,they're coming. |
| [08:13.-2] |
Weird. |
| [10:03.-4] |
When you're not using the markers, put the caps back on them... |
| [10:40.-1] |
... but I've noticed some of you are just placing them on. … |
| [10:51.-3] |
Gunther! |
| [11:21.-3] |
When I do,walk quickly to the door and don't look back. |
| [11:43.-4] |
I know. |
| [11:52.-3] |
I have been in the bathroom. |
| [14:48.-2] |
Thank you. |
| [15:30.-2] |
Everything you've heard is true. |
| [17:35.-2] |
I'll be skins! |
| [18:14.-2] |
How did you get through this? |
| [22:07.-2] |
Yep! Get ready for the gelatinous fun. |
| [22:21.-1] |
Okay,I've got one. |
| [00:07.72] |
So,I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth. |
| [00:10.56] |
And since it's Rachel's birthday... |
| [00:12.89] |
...I thought I'd poach a salmon. … |
| [00:15.93] |
What? |
| [00:17.00] |
Question. Why do we always have parties where you poach things? |
| [00:21.33] |
You want to be on the food committee? |
| [00:23.13] |
Question 2. Why do we always have parties with committees? |
| [00:26.64] |
Why can't we just get pizza and beer and have fun? |
| [00:30.68] |
I agree. Fancy parties are only fun if you're fancy on the inside. |
| [00:38.12] |
You don't want it to be special? |
| [00:40.65] |
Fine. You can throw any kind of party you want. |
| [00:43.46] |
Joey,they're not real! |
| [00:47.36] |
I start miles beneath the surface of these things. They're fake. |
| [00:50.83] |
See? Honk,honk! |
| [00:53.83] |
Wow,it's like porno for clowns! |
| [00:58.64] |
The One With Two Parties |
| [01:47.05] |
Neither of Rachel's sisters can come. |
| [01:50.12] |
I still have to invite Dylan and Emma and Shannon Cooper. |
| [01:54.73] |
No Shannon Cooper. |
| [01:56.16] |
Why not her? |
| [01:57.73] |
Because she.... |
| [01:58.83] |
She steals stuff. |
| [02:03.07] |
Or maybe she doesn't and Joey slept with her and never called her back. |
| [02:09.94] |
Joey,that is horrible. |
| [02:11.78] |
Hey,I liked her. |
| [02:13.24] |
Maybe too much. |
| [02:14.81] |
I don't know. |
| [02:16.58] |
I guess I just got scared. |
| [02:22.79] |
I didn't think anyone would buy that. Okay! |
| [02:27.03] |
Hi,honey. How did it go? |
| [02:28.66] |
It was the graduation from hell. |
| [02:30.83] |
My cousin went to hell on a football scholarship. |
| [02:35.03] |
It's supposed to be a joyous occasion. |
| [02:37.60] |
Nobody thought my sister would graduate from college. |
| [02:41.14] |
It's a testament to what a girl from Long lsland will do for a Celica. |
| [02:46.21] |
What happened? |
| [02:47.31] |
My parents happened. |
| [02:48.68] |
All they had to do was sit in the same stadium,smile... |
| [02:51.88] |
...and not talk about the divorce. But no! … |
| [02:55.29] |
They got into a fight during the commencement address. |
| [02:58.12] |
Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. |
| [03:04.46] |
You know the good news? |
| [03:06.03] |
I get to serve coffee for the next eight hours. |
| [03:10.80] |
I guess we don't invite her parents. |
| [03:13.30] |
-How about just her mom? -Why her mom? |
| [03:16.17] |
Because I already invited her. |
| [03:18.68] |
Did you ask Stacy Roth? |
| [03:20.88] |
Can't invite her. |
| [03:25.05] |
She also steals. |
| [03:33.22] |
Here are the candles. Where's the birthday cake? |
| [03:36.33] |
We're not having birthday cake. |
| [03:38.50] |
We're having birthday flan. |
| [03:42.57] |
Excuse me? |
| [03:43.74] |
It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert. |
| [03:45.90] |
That's nice. |
| [03:47.51] |
Happy birthday,Rachel. Here's some goo! |
| [03:57.02] |
Dr. Greene! |
| [03:58.85] |
Oh,my God! It's Rachel's dad. |
| [04:03.35] |
Why are you here? |
| [04:04.89] |
The father can't see the daughter on her birthday? |
| [04:07.79] |
No,no,the father can. |
| [04:09.86] |
But since I am the roommate, I can tell you she's not here. |
| [04:13.87] |
And I'll pass along the message. Okay? So bye-bye. |
| [04:17.27] |
You're having a party. |
| [04:22.21] |
Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows. |
| [04:25.54] |
-This is Phoebe,Chandler and Joey. -I'll never remember all that. |
| [04:29.78] |
So what's the deal? |
| [04:32.08] |
Rachel comes home,people pop out and yell stuff? Is that it? |
| [04:42.33] |
Hi,Monica. |
| [04:46.93] |
The Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus. |
| [04:50.10] |
So basically,just a Chinese guy. |
| [04:54.47] |
Dr. Greene,come with me. We'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed. |
| [05:01.35] |
All right. That sounds like a two-person job. |
| [05:07.82] |
Well,my goodness! What was that? |
| [05:10.36] |
Sandra,I thought you were Rachel. We weren't ready for you yet. |
| [05:14.19] |
-You thought I was Rachel? -Yes,because you look so young. |
| [05:18.20] |
And because you're both, you know,white women. |
| [05:23.50] |
Oh,I missed you kids. Should I put my coat in the bedroom? |
| [05:30.14] |
-No,I'll take that for you. -Oh,well,thank you. |
| [05:33.51] |
Such a gentleman. Thank you. |
| [05:38.85] |
It all looks so nice. So festive. All the balloons. |
| [05:43.72] |
Oh,the funniest thing happened to me on the way here. |
| [05:47.49] |
-I was driving -That's great! |
| [05:53.20] |
I can't wait to hear the rest, but I have to go to the bathroom. |
| [05:56.80] |
Hey,come with me. |
| [06:01.47] |
You know,like at a restaurant. It'll be fun! Come on. |
| [06:10.21] |
Oh,my God. Oh,my God. Oh,my God! |
| [06:12.25] |
Think. Think. |
| [06:14.00] |
What would Jack and Chrissy do? |
| [06:18.09] |
Okay,now that your coat is safely in the bed |
| [06:21.76] |
We can come back out in the living room. |
| [06:24.36] |
Joey and Chandler,it's time you take Dr. Greene over to your place. |
| [06:28.87] |
Yes,absolutely. |
| [06:32.17] |
Why,again? |
| [06:34.41] |
Because that's where the party is,you goon! |
| [06:38.61] |
-See,this is just the staging area. -Right,it's the staging area. |
| [06:42.71] |
This is clearly in the wrong apartment. |
| [06:50.86] |
All right,you guys are off to party number one. |
| [06:55.86] |
And you.... |
| [06:57.76] |
You are off to party number two. |
| [07:00.80] |
All right,let's keep it moving, let's keep it moving. |
| [07:06.24] |
At least send some women to my party. |
| [07:22.65] |
Thank you for such a wonderful dinner. |
| [07:25.56] |
Thanks for being born. |
| [07:27.63] |
Thank you for my beautiful earrings. They're perfect. |
| [07:30.90] |
I love you. |
| [07:32.90] |
Now,you can exchange them if you want,okay? |
| [07:36.73] |
Now I love you even more. |
| [07:44.31] |
Surprise! |
| [07:46.08] |
Oh,my gosh! |
| [07:47.81] |
Wow! |
| [07:49.91] |
Oh,my God. Mom! |
| [07:51.78] |
This is so great! |
| [07:53.48] |
Happy birthday,sweetie. |
| [07:57.09] |
You! I had no idea! |
| [07:59.92] |
-Really? -No,I knew. |
| [08:01.36] |
All right. |
| [08:03.63] |
There's food and drinks on the table. |
| [08:06.20] |
Go across the hall. Right now,Joey and Chandler's. |
| [08:09.03] |
-Why? -Just go. |
| [08:14.17] |
Surprise! |
| [08:18.81] |
Happy birthday,sweet pea. |
| [08:21.18] |
Daddy! |
| [08:27.55] |
Both of them are here? Both of them? Both of them are here? |
| [08:30.79] |
Well,we could count again? |
| [08:33.86] |
I can't believe this! |
| [08:35.39] |
You know,this is ridiculous. |
| [08:37.20] |
This is your birthday,your party. |
| [08:39.66] |
Let's put them together. If they can't deal with it,who cares? |
| [08:43.07] |
-I do. -That's who. |
| [08:47.04] |
Are you gonna be okay? |
| [08:48.57] |
I don't really have a choice. I can look at the bright side. |
| [08:52.64] |
I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes. |
| [08:55.75] |
Well,actually... |
| [08:57.55] |
...just one birthday flan. … |
| [09:02.82] |
It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert. |
| [09:05.82] |
Talk to Monica. She's on the food committee. |
| [09:15.23] |
Some girl just walked up to me and said,"I want you,Dennis"... |
| [09:19.00] |
...and stuck her tongue down my throat. … |
| [09:21.84] |
I love this party! |
| [09:24.28] |
-Quick volleyball question. -Volleyball. |
| [09:26.61] |
We set up a court in your room. |
| [09:28.78] |
You didn't like that gray lamp,did you? |
| [09:32.38] |
A woman stuck her tongue down my throat. I'm not even listening to you. |
| [09:37.05] |
-Dennis! -Okay,that's me. |
| [09:41.19] |
Can you keep Dad occupied? I'm gonna talk to Mom for a while. |
| [09:45.40] |
Do you have any ideas for any openers? |
| [09:48.73] |
Stay clear of "I'm the guy that's doing your daughter"... |
| [09:52.07] |
...and you should be okay. … |
| [09:56.27] |
I want you to take a piece of paper |
| [09:58.48] |
Here you go. And write down your most embarrassing memory. |
| [10:07.65] |
... because they will dry out. … |
| [10:10.66] |
Hi,Dr. Greene. |
| [10:13.79] |
So how's everything in the... |
| [10:16.83] |
...vascular surgery... … |
| [10:19.30] |
...game? … |
| [10:21.47] |
It's not a game,Ross. A woman died on my table today. |
| [10:25.50] |
I'm sorry. |
| [10:28.81] |
That's the good thing about my job. |
| [10:31.24] |
All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead. |
| [10:37.15] |
Listen,I don't mean to be a pain about this... |
| [10:43.32] |
You want to push the caps... |
| [10:47.12] |
... until you hear them click. … |
| [10:52.00] |
Where you going? |
| [10:53.16] |
I was sort of thinking about maybe |
| [10:56.10] |
No! No,you can't go! No,this is fun. |
| [10:59.37] |
We're just starting. Here's your marker. |
| [11:05.11] |
If you want to go,just go. |
| [11:08.11] |
She'll yell at me again. |
| [11:13.38] |
All right,I can get you out. |
| [11:15.45] |
What? |
| [11:18.22] |
In a minute,I'll create a diversion. |
| [11:25.66] |
-I think I need a drink. -I'll get it for you. |
| [11:28.87] |
-What do you want? -Scotch. |
| [11:31.07] |
I'll be back in 10 seconds with your scotch on the rocks in a glass. |
| [11:35.71] |
Neat! |
| [11:37.21] |
Cool. |
| [11:39.24] |
Neat,as in no rocks. |
| [11:47.85] |
Hello,Ross! Where have you been? |
| [11:55.86] |
Stay clear of the salmon mousse. |
| [12:02.83] |
Scotch neat. |
| [12:04.94] |
That's Rachel's father's drink. |
| [12:09.04] |
Mine too. Isn't that neat? |
| [12:12.31] |
Scotch neat. |
| [12:16.68] |
Would you excuse me? |
| [12:24.86] |
Where are you sneaking off to,mister? |
| [12:28.53] |
I'm getting my cigarettes. |
| [12:30.36] |
No. |
| [12:31.50] |
What do you mean "no"? |
| [12:33.53] |
See,because that's the staging area. |
| [12:36.07] |
You go in there,it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party. |
| [12:40.74] |
Take your scotch back in there... |
| [12:43.01] |
...and I will get your cigarettes for you,sir. … |
| [12:46.71] |
-Get my glasses too. -All righty-roo. |
| [12:53.38] |
What a great moment to say that for the first time. |
| [12:59.82] |
Okay,the first person's most embarrassing memory is... |
| [13:04.43] |
... "Monica,your party sucks." …“ |
| [13:07.60] |
Very funny. |
| [13:09.57] |
Oh,no! Did someone forget to use a coaster? |
| [13:13.07] |
What? |
| [13:21.41] |
I don't see anything. |
| [13:23.71] |
Great,I'm seeing water rings again. |
| [13:29.35] |
Ross,whose glasses are those? |
| [13:32.69] |
Mine. |
| [13:35.53] |
You wear bifocals? |
| [13:39.13] |
I have a condition apparently... |
| [13:42.40] |
...that I require... … |
| [13:45.74] |
...two different sets of focals. … |
| [13:49.07] |
Do you know my husband has glasses just like that? |
| [13:52.71] |
Well,those are very popular frames. |
| [13:55.65] |
Neil Sedaka wears them. |
| [14:00.72] |
I hear you can get people out of here. |
| [14:07.29] |
You didn't tell me your boyfriend smokes. |
| [14:10.73] |
Yeah,like a chimney. |
| [14:13.90] |
Big smoker. |
| [14:16.67] |
Big,big smoker. |
| [14:18.74] |
In fact,I'm gonna go into the hallway and fire up this bad boy. |
| [14:36.49] |
Are you wearing my glasses? |
| [14:39.52] |
Yes. |
| [14:43.16] |
I was just warming up the earpieces for you. |
| [14:51.54] |
Is that one of my cigarettes? |
| [15:00.04] |
Yes,it is. I was just moistening the tip. |
| [15:05.88] |
She's taking the trash out, so I can get you out of here. |
| [15:09.55] |
But it has to be now. She'll be back any minute. |
| [15:12.16] |
What about my friend? |
| [15:13.29] |
Only the three of you. Any more and she'll get suspicious. |
| [15:17.03] |
-Let me just get my coat. -There isn't time! |
| [15:22.07] |
Just leave everything. |
| [15:24.00] |
They'll take care of you next door. |
| [15:26.87] |
Is it true they have beer? |
| [15:33.18] |
Could you guys please keep it down? |
| [15:35.75] |
We're trying to start a Boggle tournament. |
| [15:43.69] |
You! |
| [15:44.76] |
And you. |
| [15:46.09] |
You're supposed to be at my party. |
| [15:48.26] |
And Gunther! |
| [15:54.70] |
What are you doing here? |
| [16:00.24] |
Welcome to the fo |
| [16:06.08] |
All right,I'm sorry. But these people needed me. |
| [16:09.21] |
They work hard all week. It's Saturday night. |
| [16:11.72] |
They deserve to have a little fun. Go! |
| [16:15.19] |
You know,my party is fun. |
| [16:17.22] |
It's a little quieter, less obvious sort of fun. |
| [16:20.06] |
But if people would just give it a chance,it's |
| [16:27.46] |
-You want me to see a therapist? -Sweetheart,you have a problem. |
| [16:32.24] |
You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father. |
| [16:36.77] |
Okay,Mom,I'll make an appointment. |
| [16:39.38] |
But right now,I gotta go. I gotta go do a thing. |
| [16:42.78] |
Did you know your mother spent $1200 on bonsai trees? |
| [16:48.05] |
I felt like Gulliver. |
| [16:50.82] |
Daddy,I really want to hear more about this... |
| [16:53.92] |
...but I just have to do some stuff. … |
| [16:57.29] |
You work and you work and you work at a marriage... |
| [17:00.50] |
... but all he cares about is his stupid boat. … |
| [17:03.17] |
You work and you work and you work on a boat. |
| [17:06.17] |
He always ridiculed my pottery classes. |
| [17:09.31] |
And you sand it and varnish it. |
| [17:11.48] |
But when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs. |
| [17:15.31] |
One night of her yoga and Bridges of Madison County.... |
| [17:18.58] |
-The scotch,the cigarettes.... - The bonsais and the Chihuahua.... |
| [17:21.59] |
I may have only been in therapy for three weeks now but |
| [17:24.12] |
What the hell does she want with half a boat? |
| [17:30.46] |
Okay,okay,you can be shirts and I'll be skins. |
| [17:43.54] |
How you holding up there,tiger? |
| [17:47.51] |
Sorry. When my parents were getting divorced,I got a lot of "tigers." |
| [17:52.22] |
I got a lot of "champs," "chiefs," "sports." |
| [17:56.00] |
I even got a "governor." |
| [17:59.72] |
This is it,isn't it? This is what my life will be like. |
| [18:03.49] |
My mom there,my dad there. |
| [18:05.86] |
Thanksgiving,Christmas. |
| [18:08.57] |
She gets the house,he's in a condo my sister will decorate with wicker. |
| [18:18.38] |
I relied on a carefully regimented program... |
| [18:21.55] |
...of denial... … |
| [18:24.01] |
...and wetting the bed. … |
| [18:28.72] |
You know,I just It's so weird. |
| [18:31.32] |
I mean,I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other. |
| [18:36.19] |
All I kept thinking about was the Fourth of July. |
| [18:40.60] |
Because it reminded you of the way... |
| [18:42.73] |
...our forefathers used to bitch at each other? … |
| [18:46.34] |
It's just this thing. Every year we would... |
| [18:49.24] |
...go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks. … |
| [18:52.54] |
Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big. |
| [18:56.78] |
My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side... |
| [19:00.28] |
...and Dad would be upset because nobody helped. … |
| [19:03.22] |
And when we did help,he'd scream at us for doing it wrong. |
| [19:09.56] |
But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up. |
| [19:14.30] |
You know,and it'd get really cold. |
| [19:16.80] |
And we'd all just sort of smoosh under this one blanket. |
| [19:20.70] |
It never occurred to anybody to bring another one. |
| [19:25.54] |
And now it's.... |
| [19:30.71] |
Yeah,I know. |
| [19:55.44] |
Thanks for coming. I hope you had fun. |
| [19:57.84] |
All right,I'm hitting the road. |
| [20:00.08] |
Now,I've left my 10 verbs on the table. |
| [20:03.18] |
Be sure and send me that finished poem. |
| [20:05.75] |
Okay,will do. Glad you came. |
| [20:07.92] |
-I think I saw Rachel out in the hall. -Let me go check. |
| [20:13.69] |
Your mom wants to say goodbye. |
| [20:15.93] |
Happy birthday,sweetie. |
| [20:21.10] |
You drive safe. |
| [20:23.93] |
What are you doing? |
| [20:26.67] |
I'm getting ready for the water skiing. |
| [20:30.27] |
Okay,big hug. One more. Come on! |
| [20:35.55] |
How are you? |
| [20:39.12] |
-Where are you going? -To get my coat. |
| [20:41.32] |
We'll get that for you. |
| [20:43.00] |
All right,all right. I can get my own coat. |
| [20:53.73] |
Sorry,we're on a major flan high. |
| [20:59.04] |
Oh,no. No,you're not supposed to be here. |
| [21:02.04] |
This is the staging area. It's all wrong. You should leave. |
| [21:06.08] |
You know,just get out. |
| [21:17.32] |
Or perhaps you'd like a creme de menthe. |
| [21:21.16] |
I have to be heading toward my chateau. |
| [21:23.53] |
I guess we're going back into the hallway again. |
| [21:26.56] |
Thanks for coming,Mrs. Greene. |
| [21:41.35] |
You take care. |
| [21:46.38] |
Oh,you kids. |
| [21:50.89] |
Well. |
| [21:53.46] |
This is the best party I've been to in years. |
| [21:57.56] |
Thank you! |
| [22:04.57] |
Okay,everybody, it's time for flan! |
| [22:11.31] |
Looks like that stuff you get when you get an infection. |
| [22:14.91] |
Okay,that's enough. |
| [22:16.91] |
Okay,Rachel, make a special flan wish. |
| [22:26.89] |
Heads up! |
| [22:30.03] |
Wow! Those things almost never come true. |
