| [00:25.-2] |
Oh,right. |
| [02:26.-3] |
Yes! |
| [03:11.-2] |
Hi,neighbor. |
| [07:10.-2] |
Pheebs? How long do you think this lady will be with us? |
| [07:18.-4] |
Sit up! |
| [07:54.-4] |
This is Joey. |
| [11:00.-2] |
Damn! My mail-order grandfather hasn't come yet. |
| [14:12.-3] |
I'm dicing. I'm dicing. I don't hear anything. |
| [14:19.-2] |
...there might be more.… |
| [14:24.-2] |
|
| [16:12.-4] |
You're still gonna pay me,right? |
| [18:28.-4] |
All right, you'll be sorry later. |
| [19:11.-3] |
Ross. |
| [19:31.-1] |
Now I've seen everything! |
| [21:28.-2] |
No,that's fine. |
| [00:02.11] |
Okay,here's his diaper bag... |
| [00:05.42] |
...and his Mr. Winky. … |
| [00:08.55] |
And... |
| [00:11.12] |
... him. Hi! … |
| [00:13.43] |
-How did everything go? -Great! |
| [00:15.76] |
There was a projectile... |
| [00:18.43] |
...throwing up incident, but he started it. … |
| [00:22.13] |
We've gotta go. |
| [00:26.84] |
I've got some news. It's about us. |
| [00:29.47] |
You and me? |
| [00:30.58] |
No. Susan and me. |
| [00:32.74] |
The other "us." |
| [00:38.92] |
We're getting married. |
| [00:46.16] |
As in,"I now pronounce you wife and wife" married? |
| [00:50.70] |
We'd like you to come. We understand if you don't want to. |
| [00:54.50] |
Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding. |
| [00:59.84] |
I just thought that |
| [01:01.34] |
Why shouldn't I be happy for you? What would it say about me... |
| [01:06.04] |
...if I couldn't revel in your joy? … |
| [01:09.31] |
And I'm reveling,baby! Believe me! |
| [01:12.32] |
Is your finger caught in that chair? |
| [01:16.69] |
Want us to go? |
| [01:20.83] |
The One With the Lesbian Wedding |
| [02:09.34] |
This is cool. You're actually on television. |
| [02:12.31] |
I know. It really hit me last night. |
| [02:14.81] |
I'm on Days of our Lives. |
| [02:18.58] |
Then I started thinking about us, and how these are the days of our lives. |
| [02:27.03] |
What? |
| [02:28.13] |
Carol and Susan's caterer had a bike accident... |
| [02:31.36] |
...and she's in a full-body cast. … |
| [02:37.30] |
They asked me,which is cool since I've never catered... |
| [02:40.47] |
...and I need the money. Is this a problem? … |
| [02:43.14] |
-Would it matter? -You're so great! |
| [02:45.44] |
Thank you! |
| [02:46.88] |
-You're really not going? -I'm really not. |
| [02:49.68] |
They already live together. Why do they need to get married? |
| [02:53.72] |
They love each other. |
| [02:55.39] |
They wanna celebrate that love with the people close to them. |
| [02:59.66] |
If you wanna call that a reason. |
| [03:03.03] |
Who's the bitterest man in the living room? |
| [03:07.07] |
The bitterest man in the living room? |
| [03:14.47] |
-I thought you were over this. -That has nothing to do with it. |
| [03:18.81] |
If she were marrying a guy, you wouldn't expect me to go. |
| [03:22.65] |
If she were marrying a guy, she'd be the worst lesbian ever. |
| [03:29.42] |
Did I miss it? |
| [03:31.02] |
No,I'm on right after this guy shoots himself. |
| [03:35.19] |
She's pretty. |
| [03:37.33] |
And she's really nice. |
| [03:38.93] |
She taught me about how to work with the cameras... |
| [03:42.07] |
...and smell-the-fart acting. … |
| [03:47.01] |
-I'm sorry,what? -Excuse me? |
| [03:49.61] |
You got so many lines to learn so fast that sometimes... |
| [03:53.08] |
...you need a minute to remember your next one. … |
| [03:56.11] |
So while you're thinking... |
| [03:58.05] |
...you take this big pause where you look all intense. … |
| [04:01.72] |
Like this.... |
| [04:09.86] |
Here's my scene! Here's my scene! |
| [04:14.57] |
Mrs. Wallace? |
| [04:16.47] |
Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon. |
| [04:19.10] |
Is she going to be all right? |
| [04:21.41] |
I'm afraid the situation is much more dire than we'd expected. |
| [04:25.48] |
Your sister's suffering from a... |
| [04:33.72] |
...subcranial hematoma. … |
| [04:37.59] |
Perhaps we can discuss this further over coffee. |
| [04:47.63] |
Nice! |
| [04:50.30] |
For a minute,I thought you were actually smelling something. |
| [04:56.64] |
-Do it again! -All right! |
| [04:58.28] |
-That was so good! -Do it again. |
| [05:01.45] |
"Damn it,Braverman! It's right there on the chart!" “ |
| [05:05.92] |
I gotta get to work. I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect. |
| [05:10.09] |
No,that's me. |
| [05:11.32] |
Oh,right. |
| [05:17.10] |
Oh,thanks. Couldn't.... |
| [05:21.83] |
Is everything okay? |
| [05:23.13] |
No. |
| [05:27.27] |
One of my clients died on the massage table today. |
| [05:30.84] |
Oh,my God! |
| [05:32.71] |
That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get. |
| [05:38.28] |
She was,you know, 82 years old... |
| [05:41.35] |
...and her name was Mrs. Adelman. … |
| [05:44.72] |
Oh,honey. |
| [05:45.82] |
It's just so strange. You know... |
| [05:48.56] |
...she probably woke up this morning and thought... … |
| [05:51.50] |
... I'll have some breakfast, take a walk,then have my massage. … |
| [05:55.47] |
Little did she know God thought, "Okay,but that's it." |
| [06:02.37] |
Oh,but the weirdest things was... |
| [06:05.34] |
... I was cleansing her aura when it happened. … |
| [06:08.81] |
And when her spirit left her body... |
| [06:11.72] |
... I don't think it went very far. … |
| [06:15.00] |
What do you mean? |
| [06:16.92] |
I think it went into me. |
| [06:28.10] |
This is so hard. |
| [06:29.53] |
I can't decide between lamb or duck. |
| [06:31.84] |
Well,lambs are scarier. |
| [06:33.74] |
Or the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks. |
| [06:38.71] |
Okay,who ordered what? |
| [06:40.51] |
I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim. |
| [06:45.38] |
And this with the cigarette butt in it,is that decaf? |
| [06:48.89] |
Oh,God. |
| [06:50.72] |
You're so uptight about your mom coming. |
| [06:53.06] |
I know. I just don't want her to think that because... |
| [06:56.59] |
... I didn't marry Barry my life is crap. … |
| [06:59.30] |
Talk about crap,just listen to Stella Neidman... |
| [07:02.37] |
...tell her story about Rod Steiger for the hundredth time. … |
| [07:14.28] |
I don't know. She obviously has some unfinished business. |
| [07:22.39] |
There she is! |
| [07:23.79] |
-Mom! -Hey,sweetie! |
| [07:31.80] |
So this is where you work! |
| [07:34.60] |
Oh,it's wonderful! |
| [07:37.00] |
Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? |
| [07:41.51] |
I guess that's the fun. |
| [07:43.44] |
Pretty much. Here,meet my friends. |
| [07:45.68] |
Monica! You look gorgeous! |
| [07:48.81] |
Oh,my! The last time I saw you, it was eat or be eaten. |
| [07:55.69] |
This is Phoebe. |
| [07:57.02] |
This is Chandler. |
| [07:58.49] |
You remember Ross? |
| [07:59.79] |
Oh,hello,Ross. |
| [08:01.19] |
Mrs. Greene. |
| [08:04.60] |
What do you think of my daughter,in the apron... |
| [08:07.87] |
...with the big job! … |
| [08:09.43] |
Oh,Mom! |
| [08:12.04] |
If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink. |
| [08:17.21] |
Believe me,sometimes that happens. |
| [08:21.78] |
This is just so exciting! You know,I never worked. |
| [08:25.45] |
I went from my father's house to the sorority house... |
| [08:28.85] |
...to my husband's house. I am just so proud of you! … |
| [08:32.79] |
Really? |
| [08:34.89] |
I know who you remind me of. |
| [08:37.46] |
Evelyn Durmer. |
| [08:38.80] |
That's before the lousy face-lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales. |
| [08:47.24] |
Pheebs? Who's Evelyn Durmer? |
| [08:51.01] |
I don't know. Who's Soupy Sales? |
| [08:56.25] |
Oh,my God! |
| [08:57.72] |
There's an unattractive nude man playing the cello. |
| [09:02.42] |
Just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument. |
| [09:09.69] |
You have some life here,sweetie! |
| [09:12.06] |
Mom,I realize you were upset when I didn't marry Barry... |
| [09:15.73] |
...and get the house in the suburbs with all the security. … |
| [09:19.57] |
This is just so much better for me. |
| [09:21.84] |
I know. You didn't love Barry,honey. |
| [09:26.01] |
And I've never seen you this happy. |
| [09:28.78] |
I look at you and I think, "This is what I want." |
| [09:34.42] |
For me. |
| [09:37.05] |
Well,not just for you. |
| [09:39.72] |
What do you mean? |
| [09:41.93] |
I'm considering leaving your father. |
| [09:48.93] |
All right,tell me if this is too cute. |
| [09:51.54] |
Lesbian wedding... chicken breasts. |
| [09:58.41] |
Oh,God. I think I'm gonna be sick. |
| [10:01.75] |
What? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them. |
| [10:08.35] |
-You had no idea? -None. |
| [10:11.12] |
They didn't fight? |
| [10:12.79] |
No,they didn't even talk to each other. |
| [10:15.73] |
How was I suppose to know they were having problems? |
| [10:20.06] |
You know,in my day, divorce was not an option. |
| [10:24.70] |
Hey,look who's up! |
| [10:28.81] |
I just can't believe this is happening! |
| [10:31.61] |
When I was little, all parents got divorced. |
| [10:34.55] |
I figured as an adult, I wouldn't have to worry about it. |
| [10:37.88] |
Can't you look at this as flattering? |
| [10:41.00] |
She just wants to be like you. |
| [10:43.29] |
Well,couldn't she have just copied my haircut? |
| [10:47.76] |
When my parents divorced, they sent me to a shrink... |
| [10:50.83] |
...and she told me that kids blame themselves. … |
| [10:54.13] |
But in your case, it's actually kind of true. |
| [10:57.84] |
Oh,that's him. |
| [11:04.34] |
-Phoebe? -Hi,Mr. Adelman. |
| [11:06.34] |
-Nice to see you. -Thanks for coming. |
| [11:08.48] |
That's okay. Although you did cut into my busy day of sitting. |
| [11:14.52] |
Do you wanna sit? |
| [11:16.09] |
No,I spent most of my morning trying to stand up. |
| [11:21.53] |
What can I do for you,my dear? |
| [11:23.59] |
Okay,I don't know how to say this,but.... |
| [11:26.93] |
I think when your wife's spirit left her body... |
| [11:29.87] |
...it kind of stuck around... … |
| [11:32.60] |
...in me. … |
| [11:34.34] |
You're saying my wife is in you? |
| [11:36.71] |
Yeah. You don't have to believe me,but... |
| [11:40.01] |
...can you think of any unfinished business she had? … |
| [11:43.51] |
Any reason to hang around? |
| [11:45.72] |
I don't know what to say. |
| [11:47.62] |
All I can think of is that... |
| [11:50.12] |
...she used to say that before she died, she wanted to see everything. … |
| [11:54.69] |
-Everything? -Everything. |
| [11:57.29] |
That's a lot of stuff. |
| [11:59.03] |
Oh,wait,l.... |
| [12:00.36] |
I remember she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time. |
| [12:13.48] |
I'm sorry. There's laughing in my head. |
| [12:19.02] |
Worth a shot,huh? |
| [12:26.26] |
Look at this! |
| [12:28.36] |
These are all Halloween, three years ago. |
| [12:31.56] |
Oh,and look,here's Barry. |
| [12:33.70] |
He came straight from the office? |
| [12:35.93] |
Oh,no. That was his costume. |
| [12:39.87] |
See,he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist. |
| [12:45.41] |
You guys? |
| [12:46.71] |
Remember when I said that I don't need your help? |
| [12:50.01] |
Actually,I think you said... |
| [12:51.72] |
... "Don't touch that and get out of my kitchen." …“ |
| [12:55.05] |
Really? Weird. Anyway.... |
| [12:58.59] |
I planned really well. I planned and planned. |
| [13:01.76] |
I just didn't plan enough time to do it. |
| [13:04.80] |
-You want some help? -lf you want. |
| [13:12.30] |
What a day! |
| [13:13.74] |
I took her everywhere. |
| [13:18.41] |
The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center... |
| [13:21.65] |
...the Statue of Liberty. … |
| [13:23.31] |
She's still with you? |
| [13:24.88] |
Yes. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. |
| [13:29.65] |
Be right back. She has to go to the bathroom again. |
| [13:34.89] |
Such a pretty face! |
| [13:40.80] |
Oh,this is so much fun! Just the girls! |
| [13:44.50] |
Do you know what we should do? Does anybody have any marijuana? |
| [13:48.57] |
God! |
| [13:52.64] |
Look,no one's smoking pot around all this food. |
| [13:56.01] |
Well,that's fine. |
| [13:58.15] |
I never did it. I just thought I might. |
| [14:03.02] |
What's new in sex? |
| [14:07.12] |
What's new in sex? |
| [14:09.19] |
The only man I've been with is your father. |
| [14:15.33] |
This is no offense to your dad, but I was thinking... |
| [14:20.44] |
You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. |
| [14:25.14] |
You come here and drop this bomb on me before you even tell Daddy. |
| [14:29.45] |
Do you want my blessing? Want me to talk you out of it? |
| [14:33.22] |
Then what do you want? |
| [14:34.89] |
I guess I figured you would understand. |
| [14:37.39] |
Why on earth would I understand this? |
| [14:41.23] |
You didn't marry your Barry,honey. |
| [14:44.00] |
But I married mine. |
| [14:52.57] |
We're in trouble. We've only got 12 hours and 36 minutes left. |
| [14:56.54] |
Move,move,move! |
| [14:58.74] |
I feel like you should have German subtitles. |
| [15:03.91] |
Joey,speed it up! |
| [15:05.52] |
I'm sorry! It's the pigs! They're reluctant to get in the blanket! |
| [15:10.72] |
How did this happen? I thought you had this planned out. |
| [15:14.56] |
Do you want me to cry? |
| [15:17.39] |
Is that what you want? |
| [15:19.56] |
Do you wanna see me cry? |
| [15:22.17] |
Sir,no,sir! |
| [15:26.77] |
All right,you! |
| [15:28.04] |
No. Look,I told you, I am not a part of this thing. |
| [15:31.94] |
Look,Ross. I know you have issues with Carol and Susan,and I feel for you. |
| [15:36.55] |
But if you don't help, I'm gonna take those hot dogs... |
| [15:39.85] |
...and create an appetizer called "Pigs In Ross." … |
| [15:43.92] |
All right,ball a melon! |
| [15:45.59] |
How come I'm stuck dicing when he gets to ball a melon? |
| [15:54.06] |
-How's it going? -Great! Right on schedule. |
| [15:57.07] |
Got my little happy helpers. |
| [16:00.94] |
That's fine. Whatever. |
| [16:03.54] |
What's wrong? |
| [16:04.74] |
Nothing. |
| [16:07.21] |
Okay,everything. I think we're calling off the wedding. |
| [16:16.12] |
Or something a little less selfish. |
| [16:19.00] |
What's the matter? What happened? |
| [16:21.16] |
My parents called to say they weren't coming. |
| [16:24.66] |
I knew they were having trouble with this,but... |
| [16:28.30] |
...they're my parents. They're supposed to give me away. … |
| [16:32.80] |
Susan and I fought because I said maybe we should call it off. |
| [16:36.84] |
She said,"This isn't for them. It's for us." |
| [16:40.08] |
And if I couldn't see that, we should cancel the wedding. “ |
| [16:43.65] |
I don't know what to do. |
| [16:47.69] |
I can't believe I'm gonna say this, but I think Susan's right. |
| [16:52.39] |
You do? 真 |
| [16:54.33] |
Do you love her? And don't be too emphatic about this. |
| [17:00.63] |
Of course I do. |
| [17:01.87] |
Well then,that's it. |
| [17:03.67] |
If George and Adelaide can't accept that,then the hell with them. |
| [17:09.34] |
If my parents didn't want me to marry you... |
| [17:12.34] |
... no way that would've stopped me. … |
| [17:16.01] |
Look,this is your wedding. |
| [17:18.62] |
Do it. |
| [17:22.72] |
You're right. Of course you're right. |
| [17:25.32] |
So we're back on? |
| [17:27.12] |
We're back on. |
| [17:28.53] |
You heard the woman! Peel! Chop! Devil! |
| [17:33.50] |
Can't believe I lost two minutes! |
| [17:46.54] |
It just seems so futile. |
| [17:48.41] |
You know? All these women,and nothing! |
| [17:54.65] |
I feel like Superman without my powers,you know? |
| [17:58.89] |
I have the cape, and yet I cannot fly. |
| [18:04.73] |
Well,now you understand how I feel every single day. |
| [18:09.60] |
The world is my lesbian wedding. |
| [18:23.78] |
Butterscotch? |
| [18:26.42] |
No one? |
| [19:05.49] |
-Thank you. -Anytime. |
| [19:16.73] |
Nothing makes God happier... |
| [19:18.84] |
...than when two people,any two people, come together in love. … |
| [19:23.41] |
Friends,family, we're gathered here today... |
| [19:26.51] |
...to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony. … |
| [19:29.31] |
Oh,my God! |
| [19:36.62] |
She's gone! |
| [19:38.26] |
She's gone! |
| [19:39.49] |
She's gone. |
| [19:40.66] |
Go ahead,get married. Go,go! |
| [19:45.03] |
Strangers in the night |
| [19:48.27] |
Exchanging glances |
| [19:50.77] |
Wondering in the night |
| [19:52.67] |
Would you look at them? |
| [19:54.27] |
Yeah. Can't help but. |
| [20:02.28] |
How's that pig-in-the-blanket working out for you? |
| [20:06.15] |
I wrapped those bad boys. |
| [20:10.00] |
I miss Rose. |
| [20:11.32] |
Oh,yeah? |
| [20:12.39] |
I know it's kind of weird,but she was a big part of my life.... |
| [20:17.49] |
I don't know,I feel alone. |
| [20:20.03] |
You know,I couldn't help overhearing what you just said. |
| [20:25.74] |
I think it's time you forget about Rose, move on with your life. |
| [20:30.41] |
How about we get you a drink? |
| [20:32.24] |
Okay. So nice! |
| [20:42.19] |
I shouldn't even bother coming up with a line,right? |
| [20:48.19] |
Hey,Mom,having fun? |
| [20:50.06] |
Am l! I just danced with a wonderfully large woman. |
| [20:55.60] |
And three other girls made eyes at me over at the buffet. |
| [20:59.34] |
I'm not saying it's something I wanna pursue... |
| [21:02.11] |
... but it's nice to know I have options. … |
| [21:07.54] |
There's more alcohol,right? |
| [21:14.25] |
How you doing? |
| [21:19.39] |
You did a good thing today. |
| [21:26.36] |
You wanna dance? |
| [21:30.60] |
Come on. |
| [21:32.27] |
I'll let you lead. |
| [21:52.79] |
Look,penis,schmenis! |
| [21:54.73] |
Okay? We're all people. |
| [22:06.37] |
Which one of us is gonna be the first one to get married? |
| [22:10.54] |
Mon,I was married. |
| [22:12.34] |
-Yeah,me too,technically. -I had a wedding. |
| [22:15.41] |
Just trying to start a discussion. |
| [22:18.65] |
Which one do you think will be the last to get married? |
| [22:26.82] |
Isn't Ben in this? |
| [22:28.36] |
Of course! |
| [22:29.43] |
Absolutely. |
