| [00:02.910] |
-Shut up. -Tell me what? |
| [00:05.320] |
You won't look at him. |
| [00:06.920] |
I could use another reason why women won't look at me. |
| [00:11.090] |
All right. All right. Last night,I had a dream... |
| [00:15.830] |
...that you and I were |
| [00:18.400] |
Doing it on this table. |
| [00:22.500] |
Excellent dream score. |
| [00:28.910] |
Why would you dream that? |
| [00:32.410] |
More importantly... |
| [00:34.010] |
...was I any good? |
| [00:36.720] |
Well,you were pretty damn good. |
| [00:39.720] |
Interesting. In my dreams, I'm surprisingly inadequate. |
| [00:45.220] |
Last night,you seemed to know your way around the table. |
| [00:52.300] |
I love it when we share. |
| [00:58.600] |
You okay? |
| [00:59:000] |
I cant believe you two have sex in the dream! |
| [01:03.710] |
Sorry,it was a one-time thing. |
| [01:05.880] |
I was very drunk,and it was someone else's subconscious. |
| [01:10.820] |
The One With The lck Factor |
| [01:59.330] |
Hello,Rachel. |
| [02:01.200] |
Get off. |
| [02:05.270] |
Ooh,give me. Can you see me operating a drill press? |
| [02:15.780] |
Why would you want to? |
| [02:18.650] |
For short-term work. Till I get back my massage clients. |
| [02:22.820] |
Pirates again? |
| [02:25.060] |
No. Nothing like that. |
| [02:27.730] |
I'm just such a dummy. |
| [02:30.130] |
I taught a "Massage Yourself at Home" workshop. And they are. |
| [02:36.100] |
Hey,Chan,she could work for you. |
| [02:39.100] |
Thanks,Joey. That's a good idea. |
| [02:41.910] |
I could. I could do it. What is it? |
| [02:45.010] |
My secretary's gonna be out. She's having one of her boobs reduced. |
| [02:50.480] |
It's a whole big boob story. |
| [02:53.320] |
-I could be a secretary. -I don't know if it'd be your thing... - |
| [02:58.000] |
... because it involves being normal for a large portion of the day. - |
| [03:03.290] |
I could do that. |
| [03:06.560] |
-What's that? -My new beeper. |
| [03:08.930] |
Why does a paleontologist need a beeper? |
| [03:11.640] |
Is it for dinosaur emergencies? Help. They're still extinct. |
| [03:17.240] |
It's for when Carol goes into labor. |
| [03:25.420] |
A cool number and a possible name for the kid. |
| [03:29.090] |
-See you later. -Off to see young Ethan? - |
| [03:32.220] |
Thank you. |
| [03:34.490] |
How young is young Ethan? Young? |
| [03:38.100] |
He's our age. |
| [03:40.570] |
When we were.... |
| [03:45.900] |
-He's a senior in college. -College? - |
| [03:49.670] |
Rob that cradle. |
| [03:52.580] |
He's smart and mature and grown-up. |
| [03:56.410] |
Mature and grown-up,he's a big boy. |
| [04:01.690] |
This man-child has no problem with how old you are? |
| [04:04.860] |
No,of course not. It's not even an issue... |
| [04:08.260] |
... because I said I was 22. |
| [04:10.130] |
-You what? -What? |
| [04:11.630] |
-Oh,I can't pass for 22? -Well,maybe 25,26. |
| [04:15.430] |
-I am 26. -There you go. |
| [04:30.920] |
Can you hear that? |
| [04:36.550] |
That'll stop when you pick up the phone. |
| [04:41.460] |
-Oh,I'm on. -Okay. |
| [04:45.500] |
Mr. Bing's office. |
| [04:49.800] |
-Sorry,he's in a meeting. -I'm not in a meeting. - |
| [04:54.070] |
Will he know what this is in reference to? |
| [04:58.810] |
I'll see that he gets the message. Bye-bye. |
| [05:05.080] |
Ross says hi. |
| [05:07.620] |
This is so fun. What do we do now? |
| [05:10.460] |
Well,now I actually have to get to work. |
| [05:13.520] |
"Most likely." |
| [05:19.200] |
Okay,I'm gonna be out there. |
| [05:21.630] |
All right. Bye-bye. |
| [05:23.770] |
Bye-bye. |
| [05:30.880] |
-Yes? -What you doing? |
| [05:40.550] |
BeIt's too tight. Gotta change. |
| [05:43.090] |
Did I turn the fish? Nope,because I made lasagna. |
| [05:47.790] |
-Am I out of control? -Just a touch. - |
| [05:51.660] |
I don't understand. You've been dating this guy since... |
| [05:55.630] |
... his midterms. … |
| [05:58.240] |
Why,all of a sudden, are you so...? |
| [06:04.810] |
-What? -Could tonight be the night? |
| [06:11.020] |
I don't know. He's a great guy... |
| [06:14.190] |
...and I love being with him. But,you know... |
| [06:17.860] |
...things happen when they happen. You don't plan these things. |
| [06:23.130] |
-So,did you shave your legs? -Yeah. - |
| [06:29.930] |
Would you let it go? It was just a dream. |
| [06:33.140] |
It doesn't mean |
| [06:36.710] |
This is it. It's baby time! |
| [06:39.240] |
All right,relax. Just relax. Be cool. |
| [06:47.590] |
No,Andre is not here. Third time today. |
| [06:52.560] |
Yes,I am sure. |
| [06:55.330] |
I do not perform those kind of services. |
| [06:58.930] |
Services? |
| [07:00.670] |
Oh,services. |
| [07:02.570] |
Yeah,you want 55-JUMBO. |
| [07:09.640] |
That's right. |
| [07:11.310] |
That's right. JUMBO with a "U," sir. |
| [07:14.580] |
You don't want me. |
| [07:16.350] |
Judging by his number, I'd be a huge disappointment. |
| [07:20.790] |
Alrighty,bye-bye. |
| [07:26.690] |
How was the first day? |
| [07:28.760] |
Excellent. Everyone was so,so nice. |
| [07:32.300] |
It pays to know the man who wears my shoes. |
| [07:36.330] |
Me. |
| [07:39.270] |
-I didn't tell anyone I knew you. -Why? - |
| [07:44.710] |
They don't like you. |
| [07:50.010] |
-What? -I thought you knew. - |
| [07:55.150] |
-Who doesn't like me? -Everyone. - |
| [07:58.460] |
Except for.... |
| [08:00.360] |
No. Everyone. |
| [08:04.700] |
-What are you talking about? -Don't feel bad. - |
| [08:10.400] |
But you got promoted,and now you're Mr. Boss Man. Mr. Big. |
| [08:15.410] |
Mr. Bing. Boss Man Bing. |
| [08:19.640] |
-I can't believe it. -Yeah. They even do you. - |
| [08:24.650] |
They "do" me? |
| [08:26.850] |
You know,like,okay: |
| [08:29.320] |
"Could that report be any later?" |
| [08:37.360] |
-I don't sound like that. -Yeah,you do. - |
| [08:45.300] |
...of music." |
| [08:52.640] |
"My scone. My scone." |
| [08:57.780] |
I don't sound like that. That is so not true. |
| [09:03.320] |
That is so not That is so not |
| [09:05.560] |
That Oh,shut up. |
| [09:11.330] |
-Did not. -Up until I was 9... - |
| [09:14.230] |
... I thought "gunpoint" was a place where crimes happened. |
| [09:17.900] |
-How's that possible? -It's always on the news. - |
| [09:21.140] |
"A man is being held up at Gunpoint." |
| [09:23.940] |
"Tourists are terrorized at Gunpoint." |
| [09:26.740] |
And I kept thinking, "Why do people continue to go there?" |
| [09:35.590] |
I should go. |
| [09:46.600] |
-Unless -What? |
| [09:49.800] |
Unless you wanna stay over. |
| [09:52.170] |
I mean,I'm going to. So.... |
| [09:56.640] |
Yeah,I'd really like that. |
| [10:06.050] |
Before we get into any staying-over stuff... |
| [10:10.560] |
...there's something you should know. |
| [10:13.220] |
Is this,like, "I have an early class tomorrow"... |
| [10:16.730] |
...or "I'm secretly married to a goat"? |
| [10:19.900] |
Well,it's somewhere in between. |
| [10:23.700] |
You see,in a strictly technical sense,of course,I'm not.... |
| [10:28.140] |
Well,I mean,I haven't ever.... |
| [10:31.210] |
Ethan? |
| [10:33.180] |
Are you a virgin? |
| [10:34.880] |
If that's what you kids are calling it these days,then... |
| [10:39.250] |
...yes,I am. |
| [10:43.420] |
I mean,you're just such a good kisser I would never have known. |
| [10:48.330] |
Well,I've excelled at every level I've been to,I just.... |
| [10:55.200] |
I just haven't been to that particular one yet. |
| [10:59.340] |
I've kind of been waiting for the right person. |
| [11:04.110] |
-Really? -Yeah. |
| [11:07.750] |
You do know I was talking about you,right? |
| [11:19.190] |
Wow. |
| [11:21.760] |
You keep saying that. |
| [11:23.860] |
You know,you read about it. You see it in the movies. |
| [11:27.530] |
Even when you practice it at home, man,oh,man... |
| [11:31.540] |
...it is nothing like that. |
| [11:36.810] |
Listen,listen. |
| [11:40.610] |
You told me something that was really difficult for you. |
| [11:45.080] |
And I figure if you can be honest,then I can too. |
| [11:55.000] |
Nothing wrong about that. |
| [12:00.630] |
Here goes. |
| [12:03.470] |
I'm not 22. |
| [12:09.610] |
...and 1 3 months. |
| [12:17.750] |
What does it matter how old we are? Basically,I'm nuts about you. |
| [12:22.890] |
I knew after the first time we kissed. You didn't mention the Tic Tac. |
| [12:28.030] |
I just thought you were naturally minty. |
| [12:34.630] |
Listen... |
| [12:36.600] |
...as long as we're telling stuff... |
| [12:40.770] |
... I have another one for you. |
| [12:43.610] |
I'm a little younger than I said. |
| [12:48.110] |
-You're not a senior? -Oh,I'm a senior... - |
| [12:55.720] |
...in high school. |
| [13:08.500] |
What we did was wrong. |
| [13:10.570] |
I just had sex with someone who wasn't alive during the bicentennial. |
| [13:18.310] |
I just had sex. |
| [13:22.680] |
Ethan,focus. How could you not tell me? |
| [13:26.220] |
-You never said your age. -It's different. - |
| [13:29.050] |
My lie didn't make one of us a felon in 48 states. |
| [13:33.890] |
-What were you thinking? -I was too busy falling - |
| [13:37.230] |
-Don't say it. -ln love with you. |
| [13:45.070] |
Well,fall out of it. |
| [13:46.800] |
You shouldn't be here. It's a school night. |
| [13:52.240] |
Oh,God. |
| [13:54.310] |
I'm like those women that you see... |
| [13:56.810] |
...with shiny guys named Chad. |
| [14:02.420] |
I'm Joan Collins. |
| [14:07.590] |
Who? |
| [14:17.170] |
Andre should be there in about 45 minutes. |
| [14:23.510] |
Yes,sir,the kimonos are extra. |
| [14:28.110] |
Alrighty. Bye-bye. |
| [14:32.450] |
It's just easier that way. |
| [14:36.250] |
-You told me about the last dream. -No. Forget it. - |
| [14:40.620] |
Why not? Was I doing something particularly saucy? |
| [14:46.760] |
All right. Fine. |
| [14:53.640] |
Joey was there too. |
| [14:57.270] |
All right. |
| [15:05.250] |
...anybody else there? |
| [15:09.220] |
You sure? Nobody... |
| [15:11.420] |
... handing out mints or anything? … |
| [15:16.060] |
No,it was just the three of us. |
| [15:20.730] |
So was it you and Chandler... |
| [15:22.730] |
...then you and me, or you,me and Chandler? |
| [15:27.500] |
-You know what? -What? |
| [15:30.470] |
There were times... |
| [15:32.580] |
...when it wasn't even me. … |
| [15:44.420] |
That is so sweet,you guys. |
| [15:53.530] |
Mon,Ethan called again. |
| [16:02.640] |
-What? -Ethan called again. - |
| [16:06.440] |
-You're not seeing him anymore? -No. - |
| [16:09.780] |
Sometimes,things don't work out. |
| [16:12.380] |
This has nothing to do with him needing a note to get out of gym? |
| [16:20.620] |
I did not say anything. I swear. |
| [16:23.930] |
-He stopped by. -Next time you talk to him... - |
| [16:33.140] |
Oh,my life is just so amusing. Can we drop it now? |
| [16:37.140] |
Sorry. |
| [16:39.010] |
"It's morphin'time." |
| [16:40.640] |
-Stegosaurus. -Tyrannosaurus. |
| [16:47.890] |
I gotta go. |
| [16:49.590] |
Head rush. |
| [16:53.090] |
One more,and then I have to go. |
| [16:56.030] |
Cool. |
| [17:00.900] |
Where you going? |
| [17:02.770] |
A birthday party with some work people. |
| [17:05.600] |
Work people? Nobody told me. |
| [17:09.540] |
I know. That's part of the whole... |
| [17:12.040] |
...them-not-liking-you extravaganza. … |
| [17:16.650] |
A month ago, these people were my friends. |
| [17:19.920] |
I'm in charge, but I'm not a different person. |
| [17:23.250] |
Then come,hang out. Let them see what a great guy you still are. |
| [17:28.290] |
-You think I should? -I really do. - |
| [17:32.560] |
But could we not go together? |
| [17:35.900] |
I don't wanna be the geek who invited the boss. |
| [17:43.410] |
-Hey,you okay? -Yeah. |
| [17:46.240] |
-This can't be easy for him either. -I know. - |
| [17:51.080] |
This may take some time for him to get over it... |
| [17:55.420] |
... but,then at four, Muppet Babies is on. |
| [18:06.000] |
Go deep. Deep. Deep. |
| [18:10.770] |
Sorry,Shelly. |
| [18:14.870] |
See,with the fun? |
| [18:18.310] |
Last night was great. |
| [18:20.040] |
The karaoke thing? Tracy and I doing "Ebony and lvory." |
| [18:27.480] |
-What? -Now you're Mr. Caring Boss. - |
| [18:30.450] |
Mr. I'm-one-of-you Boss. “ |
| [18:32.190] |
Mr. I-wanna-be-your-buddy Boss Man Bing. “ |
| [18:36.290] |
Then I don't get it. |
| [18:38.800] |
You know what? I think you just gotta face it. |
| [18:42.770] |
You're the guy in the big office. |
| [18:45.440] |
You're the one that hires and fires them. |
| [18:48.540] |
-They say you're a great boss. -They do? - |
| [18:52.440] |
But they're not your friends anymore. |
| [18:55.150] |
-I just want -But you can't. - |
| [18:58.120] |
But I just want |
| [19:10.060] |
Are you gonna? |
| [19:11.330] |
Carol and I have a new system. If she punches in 9-1 -1... |
| [19:15.300] |
...she's having a baby. Otherwise,I just ignore it. |
| [19:18.900] |
What about Andre? |
| [19:20.370] |
He got a call from our cousin,Nathan. |
| [19:23.640] |
Frankly,it was a little more than I needed to know. |
| [19:35.150] |
That was gonna be my opener. |
| [19:38.020] |
Have you guys seen those new hand dryers in the bathroom? |
| [19:42.090] |
-I thought that was just a rumor. -True story. - |
| [19:49.030] |
Look,I gotta tell you something. |
| [19:51.500] |
I'm not 1 7. I said that so you'd think I was vulnerable. |
| [19:55.540] |
I'm actually 30. I have a wife and a job. I'm your congressman. |
| [20:01.310] |
This is ridiculous. We're great together. |
| [20:04.210] |
We can talk,make each other laugh,and the sex.... |
| [20:08.350] |
I have no frame of reference, but I thought that was great. |
| [20:12.460] |
-lt was. -Then what's the problem? - |
| [20:21.060] |
It's icky. |
| [20:23.330] |
"lcky"? “lcky”? |
| [20:24.870] |
You're actually gonna throw this away because it's "icky"? |
| [20:29.640] |
This isn't easy for me either. I wish things were different. |
| [20:36.780] |
...or we lived in biblical times... |
| [20:40.450] |
-... I could really -No,don't say it. - |
| [20:43.220] |
Love you. |
| [20:48.860] |
-Are your hands still wet? -Moist. - |
| [20:51.460] |
Let's dry them again. |
| [20:59.240] |
Or,like,"Could these margaritas be any stronger?" |
| [21:04.880] |
Hey,Chandler. |
| [21:06.310] |
Hello,Mr. Bing. |
| [21:07.880] |
Loved your Stevie Wonder last night. |
| [21:12.080] |
Thanks. About the weekly numbers,I'm gonna need them on my desk by 9:00. |
| [21:17.420] |
-Sure. -No problem. |
| [21:22.360] |
You have to give them something. |
| [21:24.660] |
That was Gerston,Santos,and who's the other guy? |
| [21:28.130] |
-Petrie. -Petrie. Right,okay. |
| [21:30.270] |
Well,some people are gonna be working... |
| [21:33.100] |
...this weekend. … |
| [22:04.640] |
Oh,that's nice. |
| [22:12.040] |
Ross. |
| [22:23.650] |
I'm here. |
| [22:27.220] |
You are? |
| [22:34.030] |
We were just.... |
| [22:37.670] |
What? |
| [22:41.910] |
-Great. Now I'm having a baby. -What? - |
| [22:46.580] |
I'm having a baby. I'm having a |
| [22:50.010] |
-The phone,the phone. -I don't have the phone. |
| [22:57.120] |
I'm hurt. |
| [23:02.890] |
Let's go. Come on,people. Woman in labor. |
| [23:06.230] |
-Look what I got going. -Save it for the cab. - |
| [23:10.400] |
We're going to a hospital. |
| [23:12.940] |
I can't look nice? There are doctors there. |
| [23:16.370] |
-Joey,get out of the fridge. -All right. - |
| [23:20.280] |
-What is that? -For the ride. - |
| [23:22.450] |
-Like in a cab -Save it. - |
| [23:24.350] |
-Hating this. -Monica,come on. Let's go. - |
| [23:27.650] |
Baby coming. |
| [23:28.850] |
I can't believe I'm gonna be an aunt. |
| [23:31.620] |
-I'll have a nephew. -That's nice. Get out. - |
| [23:38.560] |
All right,I'm going. I'm going. |
| [23:48.040] |
Here we go. Come on. |
