| [00:01.480] |
I can't believe you'd actually say that. |
| [00:04.550] |
I'd much rather be Mr. Peanut than Mr. Salty. |
| [00:08.190] |
No way. Mr. Salty is a sailor. |
| [00:11.020] |
He's gotta be the toughest snack there is. |
| [00:15.360] |
I don't know. You don't wanna mess with Cornnuts. |
| [00:19.330] |
They're crazy. |
| [00:23.100] |
Oh,my God. You gotta come see this. |
| [00:25.740] |
There's some creep out there with a telescope. |
| [00:30.610] |
I can't believe it. He's looking right at us. |
| [00:33.510] |
Oh,that is so sick. |
| [00:35.610] |
I feel violated. |
| [00:37.520] |
And not in a good way. |
| [00:39.450] |
How can people do that? |
| [00:43.790] |
You guys,look. Ugly Naked Guy got gravity boots. |
| [00:49.130] |
The One With the Evil Orthodontist |
| [01:38.210] |
Years from now, school children will study it... |
| [01:41.410] |
...as one of the greatest first dates ever. |
| [01:45.120] |
-Yeah. -I'll say,yeah. - |
| [01:47.750] |
It was unbelievable. |
| [01:49.120] |
We could be ourselves. We didn't have to play games. |
| [01:52.420] |
-Have you called her? -She'd know I like her. That's crazy. - |
| [01:56.630] |
Guys. It's gross. |
| [02:05.870] |
I can't believe my parents are pushing me to find one of you people. |
| [02:10.840] |
Come on. Just do it. |
| [02:13.410] |
Call her. Stop being so testosterone-y. |
| [02:18.420] |
Which,by the way, is the real San Francisco treat. |
| [02:26.630] |
-Her machine. -Answering machine? - |
| [02:28.890] |
No,interestingly, her leaf blower picked up. |
| [02:34.730] |
So,why didn't you say anything? |
| [02:37.240] |
No. Last time I left a spontaneous message... |
| [02:40.470] |
... I ended up using the phrase, "Yes,indeed-io." |
| [02:45.310] |
Look,it's Rachel and Barry. Don't everybody look. |
| [02:50.820] |
-They're just talking. -Does he look upset? - |
| [02:54.120] |
Does he look like he was told to shove anything? |
| [02:59.290] |
No. Actually,he's smiling. |
| [03:01.430] |
Oh,my God. Don't do that. |
| [03:03.800] |
What? What? What? |
| [03:04.930] |
That man across the street just kicked that pigeon. |
| [03:10.800] |
And basically,that's how a bill becomes a law. |
| [03:17.580] |
See? Hey,Rach. |
| [03:21.180] |
How'd it go? |
| [03:22.920] |
You know,it was actually really great. |
| [03:26.890] |
Lunch at the Russian Tea Room. |
| [03:28.750] |
I had that chicken,where you poke it and butter squirts out. |
| [03:32.890] |
Not a good day for birds. |
| [03:34.860] |
Then we went to Bendel's. |
| [03:36.860] |
And I told him not to,but he got me a bottle of Chanel. |
| [03:41.370] |
That's nice. Now was that before or after you told him... |
| [03:45.340] |
...to stop calling,stop sending flowers and to leave you alone? |
| [03:50.210] |
Right. Well,we never actually got to that. |
| [03:54.350] |
It was just so nice to see him again. |
| [03:57.480] |
It was comfortable and it was familiar. |
| [04:01.490] |
It was just nice. |
| [04:03.160] |
That's nice twice. |
| [04:06.330] |
Isn't this the same Barry who you left at the altar? |
| [04:10.800] |
Where have you been? |
| [04:14.200] |
It was different with him today. |
| [04:16.370] |
He wasn't,like,Orthodontist Guy. |
| [04:19.370] |
I mean,we had fun. Is there anything wrong with that? |
| [04:26.310] |
-Why? -I have my reasons. - |
| [04:31.650] |
He's engaged to another woman... |
| [04:34.350] |
...who happens to be your ex-best friend? |
| [04:37.720] |
All right. I know it's stupid. |
| [04:40.230] |
I'll see him this afternoon and put an end to it. |
| [04:50.700] |
I'm not crazy,right? I mean,it was never like that. |
| [04:54.670] |
No,it wasn't. |
| [05:00.250] |
It was so nice having this little sink here. |
| [05:07.890] |
Then with authority,hang up. |
| [05:14.330] |
Will you just leave her the message? |
| [05:22.200] |
"Oh,Danielle, I wasn't expecting the machine. |
| [05:27.340] |
Give me a call when you get a chance. |
| [05:32.680] |
Bye-bye. |
| [05:34.750] |
Oh,God. |
| [05:42.020] |
Hey,I've been honing. |
| [05:44.720] |
-What was with the dishes? -She might think I'm in a restaurant. - |
| [05:49.330] |
I might have a life. Like I haven't been sitting here... |
| [05:53.670] |
... honing for the last two hours? |
| [05:56.170] |
-The telescope guy's doing it again. -Oh,my God. - |
| [06:02.140] |
Go away. Stop looking in here. |
| [06:06.180] |
Great. Now he's waving back. |
| [06:11.950] |
I caught him looking into our place. I feel like I can't do stuff. |
| [06:17.920] |
What kind of stuff? |
| [06:21.890] |
Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff... |
| [06:25.400] |
...but,like, when I'm cooking naked. |
| [06:29.900] |
You cook naked? |
| [06:31.370] |
Yeah,toast,oatmeal. Nothing that spatters. |
| [06:38.040] |
What are you looking at me for? I didn't know that. |
| [06:43.120] |
What's the matter? |
| [06:45.250] |
I just Oh,Barry,this was not good. |
| [06:48.100] |
No,it was. It was very,very good. |
| [06:51.720] |
-What about Mindy? -Way better than Mindy. - |
| [07:00.530] |
If you want,I'll break it off with her. |
| [07:07.810] |
Dr. Farber,Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment. |
| [07:11.540] |
Thanks,Bernice. |
| [07:13.850] |
Let's go away this weekend. |
| [07:16.650] |
-This is all way too -No,we can go to Aruba. - |
| [07:20.750] |
When I went there on what would've been our honeymoon... |
| [07:24.390] |
...it was really nice. You would've liked it. |
| [07:29.460] |
I had a bra. |
| [07:42.880] |
Hey,Dr. Farber. |
| [07:44.040] |
All right,Miss Greene, everything looks fine. |
| [07:48.150] |
We're starting to see some real progress. |
| [07:54.720] |
-What? -I'm 1 2,I'm not stupid. - |
| [08:08.100] |
Can I use your phone? |
| [08:10.400] |
For future reference, that thing in your hand... |
| [08:13.240] |
...can also be used as a phone. … |
| [08:22.680] |
-Why isn't she calling? -Maybe she never got your message. - |
| [08:26.650] |
Call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps... |
| [08:30.290] |
...that means she didn't get her messages yet. |
| [08:33.290] |
-Doesn't that make me seem? -Desperate? Needy? Pathetic? - |
| [08:38.000] |
You obviously saw my personal ad. |
| [08:43.600] |
How many beeps? |
| [08:44.640] |
She answered. |
| [08:47.970] |
This is where you'd use that "hello" word. |
| [08:52.180] |
I won't talk to her. She got my message... |
| [08:54.950] |
...and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. |
| [08:59.820] |
God,I miss just being needy. |
| [09:04.760] |
So how'd he take it? |
| [09:06.590] |
Pretty well,actually. |
| [09:11.900] |
How come you have dental floss in your hair? |
| [09:16.300] |
Oh,do l? |
| [09:20.470] |
-We ended up having sex in his chair. -You had sex in his chair? - |
| [09:29.980] |
I said that a little too loudly,didn't l? |
| [09:33.990] |
You had what? |
| [09:36.890] |
Sex in his chair. |
| [09:41.360] |
What...? What were you thinking? |
| [09:44.530] |
I don't know. We still care about each other. |
| [09:47.870] |
There's a history there. It's like you and Carol. |
| [09:53.710] |
It's nothing like me and Carol. |
| [09:56.010] |
If she said to you, "Ross,I want you on this couch... |
| [10:00.310] |
... right here,right now," what would you say? |
| [10:04.850] |
If it helps,I could slide over. |
| [10:09.390] |
It's a totally different situation. It's apples and oranges. |
| [10:14.360] |
It's orthodontists and lesbians I gotta go. |
| [10:18.500] |
-Where are you going? -I just have to go. - |
| [10:21.170] |
I have things to do with my life. |
| [10:24.570] |
I have a jam-packed schedule. |
| [10:44.620] |
Mindy. |
| [10:47.530] |
How are you? |
| [10:49.630] |
Yes,I heard. Congratulations. That is so great. |
| [10:53.870] |
Really,oh,God |
| [10:58.370] |
I'm working tomorrow,but if you want,you can come by if you'd like. |
| [11:05.180] |
Great. |
| [11:06.880] |
Great. |
| [11:10.180] |
So I'll see you tomorrow. |
| [11:12.850] |
Okay. Bye. ok, |
| [11:16.490] |
Oh,God. Oh,God. |
| [11:20.760] |
So how's Mindy? |
| [11:24.000] |
She wants to see me tomorrow. She sounded weird. I gotta call Barry. |
| [11:32.840] |
It's me. I just Mindy. |
| [11:37.010] |
Mindy. No,I figured that's where you'd be. |
| [11:57.630] |
Hell is filled with people like you. |
| [12:03.500] |
He's back. The peeper's back. |
| [12:06.440] |
-Get down. -Get down? |
| [12:08.670] |
And boogie. |
| [12:11.840] |
I gotta go and get my eyes scratched out by Mindy. |
| [12:15.650] |
She may not even know. |
| [12:17.520] |
I haven't heard from her in seven months,what else is it about? |
| [12:23.260] |
She was my best friend. |
| [12:25.560] |
We went to camp together, she taught me how to kiss.... |
| [12:32.260] |
Now,you know, I'm,like,the other woman. |
| [12:35.400] |
-I feel so -Naughty. - |
| [12:40.340] |
-See you later. -I'll walk with you. - |
| [12:43.140] |
When she taught you to kiss,were you wearing any kind of little uniform? |
| [12:50.620] |
That's fine,yeah. |
| [12:53.550] |
I'm going to the bathroom. Will you watch my phone? |
| [12:57.020] |
-Take it with you. -We haven't had a second date... - |
| [13:00.160] |
-...she needs to hear me pee? -Why don't you call her? - |
| [13:03.860] |
I can't. I left a message. I have some pride. |
| [13:07.300] |
-Do you? -No. |
| [13:15.640] |
Danielle,hi. |
| [13:17.340] |
It's Chandler. |
| [13:19.580] |
I'm fine. |
| [13:22.650] |
Listen.... |
| [13:23.680] |
I don't know if you tried to call me because... |
| [13:27.620] |
... I accidentally shut off my phone. |
| [13:33.330] |
That's fine. That's great. Okay. |
| [13:37.200] |
She's on the other line. She's gonna call me back. |
| [13:41.000] |
She's on the other line, she's gonna call me back. |
| [13:45.170] |
-Don't you have to pee? -That's why I'm dancing. - |
| [13:52.780] |
-Mindy. -Hey,you. |
| [13:55.610] |
Hey,you. |
| [14:01.120] |
So what's up? |
| [14:03.890] |
We should really be sitting for this. |
| [14:07.560] |
Sure we should. |
| [14:19.140] |
I'm gonna ask once, and I want a straight answer. |
| [14:22.610] |
Not like when I asked if those red pants made my ass look big. |
| [14:28.010] |
I know things have been weird... |
| [14:30.150] |
...but you're my oldest friend, except for Laurie... |
| [14:33.350] |
...who's bitter because she lost weight... |
| [14:36.190] |
...and it turns out, she doesn't have a pretty face. |
| [14:39.290] |
-Okay,I'm just gonna say it. -Okay. - |
| [14:44.330] |
Will you be my maid of honor? |
| [14:50.200] |
-Of course. -That's so great. |
| [14:53.040] |
It is. It is. It is. |
| [14:55.540] |
-That's all you wanted to ask? -That's all. - |
| [15:01.980] |
-What? -That's not all. |
| [15:06.480] |
-Oh,sure it is. -Oh,no,it isn't. - |
| [15:11.190] |
I think Barry's seeing someone in the city. |
| [15:15.130] |
What would make you think that? |
| [15:17.460] |
Since the engagement, he's acted weird. |
| [15:20.630] |
And then last night,he came home smelling like Chanel. |
| [15:26.540] |
Really? |
| [15:29.470] |
If it'll make you feel any better... |
| [15:32.210] |
...when Barry and I got engaged, he was weird too. |
| [15:35.810] |
Oh,God. That's what I was afraid of. |
| [15:38.320] |
What's what you were afraid of? |
| [15:42.450] |
When Barry was engaged to you, he and l... |
| [15:47.390] |
... kind of had a little thing on the side. … |
| [15:52.100] |
-What? -I know,I know. |
| [15:54.500] |
When he proposed,people said,"He'll do to you what he did to Rachel." |
| [15:59.770] |
And now I feel so stupid. |
| [16:06.480] |
You are so stupid. |
| [16:10.480] |
We are both so stupid. |
| [16:12.720] |
What do you mean? |
| [16:16.550] |
Smell familiar? |
| [16:21.260] |
Oh,I'm so sorry. |
| [16:23.260] |
Oh,no,me. I am so sorry. |
| [16:25.830] |
No,I am sorry. I'm sorry. |
| [16:42.010] |
Oh,my. |
| [16:45.820] |
Four letters,"circle or hoop." |
| [16:48.550] |
-Ring,damn it,ring. -Thanks. |
| [16:54.530] |
-You know our phone's not working? -What? |
| [16:58.800] |
I called and there was no answer. |
| [17:02.100] |
I turned it off. |
| [17:03.900] |
Mother of God,I turned it off. |
| [17:06.740] |
Just like you told her you did. |
| [17:10.180] |
Just pointing out the irony. |
| [17:12.840] |
I went across the street to the doorman. |
| [17:16.280] |
I got the peeper's name. Can I use the phone? |
| [17:21.290] |
Can I use your phone? |
| [17:26.660] |
The number for a Sidney Marks,please. |
| [17:29.690] |
"Heating device." |
| [17:32.400] |
Radiator. |
| [17:33.930] |
Five letters. |
| [17:35.530] |
"Rdtor." “Rdtor.” |
| [17:41.810] |
Yeah,is Sidney there? |
| [17:44.740] |
Oh,this is? Sidney's a woman. |
| [17:47.750] |
So she's a woman,so what? |
| [17:52.180] |
I live across the street,and I know about your telescope. |
| [17:56.650] |
And I don't appreciate it. |
| [17:58.660] |
Yeah,I can see you right now. Hello? |
| [18:01.830] |
If I wanna walk around in my underwear,I shouldn't have to feel |
| [18:06.930] |
Thank you. |
| [18:10.600] |
That's not really the point. The point is,that |
| [18:14.470] |
Mostly free-weights, but occasionally |
| [18:19.510] |
Yeah,my neighbor. Yeah,the brunette. |
| [18:23.620] |
She said you looked pretty that day in the green dress. |
| [18:27.550] |
The green dress? Really? |
| [18:30.260] |
She said you looked like lngrid Bergman. |
| [18:38.700] |
Did she mention me? |
| [18:42.700] |
She wants to know why you tie the towel around your head. |
| [18:51.140] |
It's a leave-in conditioner. |
| [18:58.320] |
-You got a second? -Sure,sure. |
| [19:00.390] |
Come on... |
| [19:02.100] |
-...in. -Hello,sweetheart. hello, |
| [19:05.620] |
What you guys doing here? |
| [19:07.630] |
We are here to break up with you. |
| [19:11.630] |
Both of you? |
| [19:13.230] |
We think you're a horrible person, and bad things should happen to you. |
| [19:19.940] |
I'm sorry. God,I am so sorry. |
| [19:22.310] |
I was weak. I couldn't help myself. |
| [19:24.940] |
Whatever I did,I only did because I love you so much. |
| [19:30.450] |
Which one of us are you talking to there? |
| [19:35.790] |
Mindy. |
| [19:37.190] |
Of course,Mindy. It was always Mindy. |
| [19:42.860] |
I swear,whatever I was doing, I was thinking of you. |
| [19:46.460] |
Please. That second time,you couldn't have picked her out of a lineup. |
| [19:52.140] |
You did it twice? |
| [19:59.040] |
Honey,sweetheart,look. Just give me another chance. |
| [20:02.980] |
We'll start over. We'll go back to Aruba. |
| [20:06.020] |
What is it with you and Aruba? Do you have a deal with the airlines? |
| [20:11.820] |
What do you say? |
| [20:13.390] |
Dr. Farber,we've got an emergency here. |
| [20:16.330] |
Jason Castalano 's choking on his retainer. |
| [20:19.230] |
Oh,God. I'll be right there,Bernice. |
| [20:22.230] |
Look,please don't go anywhere. |
| [20:24.570] |
I'll be right back. |
| [20:31.880] |
See how he was sweating when he walked out? |
| [20:35.180] |
If I'm hogging the ball, you jump right in there... |
| [20:38.720] |
...and take some punches. This feels great. … |
| [20:42.750] |
I'm pretty sure I'm still gonna marry him. |
| [20:46.520] |
What are you talking about? |
| [20:48.930] |
Mindy,the guy is the devil. |
| [20:51.930] |
He is Satan in a smock. |
| [20:54.770] |
I know he's not perfect. |
| [21:00.340] |
But the truth is at the end of the day,I still really wanna be... |
| [21:05.610] |
... Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber... |
| [21:09.580] |
... D. D.S. … |
| [21:12.250] |
Oh,God. |
| [21:14.250] |
I hope you can find a way to be happy for me. |
| [21:17.790] |
And I hope you'll still be my maid of honor. |
| [21:21.490] |
And I hope Barry doesn't kill you and eat you in Aruba. |
| [21:31.870] |
You okay? |
| [21:35.970] |
Really? |
| [21:39.810] |
Since I ran out on Barry at the wedding... |
| [21:42.650] |
...I've wondered whether I made the right choice. |
| [21:46.280] |
And now I know. |
| [21:48.920] |
I'm so glad. |
| [21:54.760] |
Big day. |
| [22:04.700] |
I'll give you this: Mr. Peanut is a better dresser. |
| [22:08.270] |
He's got the monocle, he's got the top hat.... |
| [22:11.440] |
Did you know he's gay? |
| [22:16.480] |
I just wanna clarify this. Are you outing Mr. Peanut? |
| [22:23.120] |
Danielle,hi. |
| [22:24.790] |
Everybody,this is Danielle. Danielle,everybody. |
| [22:28.730] |
Why are you here? |
| [22:30.130] |
I've been calling, but I had your number wrong. |
| [22:33.500] |
When I got the right one, there was no answer. |
| [22:37.000] |
So I thought I'd come down here and make sure you were okay. |
| [22:41.640] |
I'm okay. |
| [22:42.940] |
Maybe we could get together later? |
| [22:50.620] |
You got it. |
| [22:56.620] |
-There you go. -Second date. - |
| [22:59.720] |
I don't know. |
| [23:01.690] |
You don't know? |
| [23:03.030] |
She seems nice,but her coming all the way here... |
| [23:06.860] |
...just to see if I was okay? I mean,how needy is that? |
