| [02:06.-2] |
Never mind. But it was gonna be really good. |
| [02:36.-2] |
Does that mean we have to start buying our own toilet paper? |
| [04:48.-2] |
I don't. |
| [05:03.-1] |
I love my life! I love my life! |
| [06:50.-4] |
Well,I don't know.... |
| [06:56.-3] |
That monkey is a chick magnet. |
| [07:55.-4] |
Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests... 8 |
| [09:44.-3] |
And I'm maintaining my amateur status so I can waitress in the Olympics. |
| [13:02.-3] |
I want Okay,I want... |
| [15:34.-1] |
Wow! It's huge! It's so much bigger than the cubicle. |
| [17:49.-4] |
Everything smells so delicious. |
| [19:16.-2] |
...but in a few minutes, we'll serve some tartlets. |
| [20:06.-1] |
-You don't wanna spoil your appetite. -Hey,Sugar-O's! - |
| [23:41.-3] |
How's this? |
| [23:50.-2] |
How about this? |
| [00:02.55] |
Coffee. |
| [00:04.05] |
-Thank you. -Cappuccino. - |
| [00:07.59] |
And a nice,hot cider for Monica. |
| [00:10.82] |
Thank you. |
| [00:13.00] |
Rach,why does my cinnamon stick have an eraser? |
| [00:20.83] |
That's why. |
| [00:23.30] |
Sorry. |
| [00:27.14] |
The One With The Stoned Guy |
| [01:21.49] |
Chandler? |
| [01:23.93] |
Miss Tedlock,you look lovely today. |
| [01:26.50] |
That is a very flattering sleeve length on you. |
| [01:32.00] |
Mr. Costilick would like you to stop by his office today. |
| [01:36.88] |
If it's about those prank memos, I wasn't involved. |
| [01:40.88] |
Nothing at all. Really. |
| [01:45.42] |
And frankly,those shenanigans have no place in an office environment. |
| [01:57.00] |
Hey,you guys! |
| [01:58.66] |
Chandler's coming and he has incredible news. |
| [02:01.80] |
So when he gets here, let's all act,like,you know |
| [02:09.71] |
What's going on? |
| [02:11.34] |
So it's a typical day at work... |
| [02:14.28] |
...and Big Al tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. |
| [02:19.52] |
-That is great! -Congratulations! |
| [02:21.82] |
So I quit. |
| [02:24.56] |
Why? |
| [02:26.09] |
Why? This was a temp job. |
| [02:28.53] |
Chandler,you've been there for five years. |
| [02:31.56] |
I know,but if I took it,I'd be admitting that this is what I do. |
| [02:41.24] |
That was Joey Tribbiani with the big picture. Dan? |
| [02:45.34] |
Was it more money? |
| [02:46.91] |
Doesn't matter. I just don't want to be a guy who sits in his office... |
| [02:51.68] |
...worrying about the WENUS. |
| [02:56.29] |
The "WENUS"? "WENUS"? |
| [02:57.92] |
Weekly estimated net usage system. It's a processing term. " |
| [03:02.39] |
Oh,that WENUS. |
| [03:05.86] |
What will you do? |
| [03:07.27] |
I don't know. But I won't figure it out working there. |
| [03:11.84] |
I have something you can do! |
| [03:14.27] |
I have this new massage client,Steve. |
| [03:18.18] |
Anyway,he's opening up a restaurant... |
| [03:21.08] |
...and he's looking for a head chef. |
| [03:26.32] |
-Hi,there. -Hi. |
| [03:29.35] |
I know. You're a chef and I thought of you first. |
| [03:33.16] |
But Chandler's the one who needs a job right now,so.... |
| [03:38.23] |
I just don't have a lot of chef-ing experience. |
| [03:41.47] |
Unless it's an all-toast restaurant. |
| [03:45.54] |
What is he looking for? |
| [03:47.61] |
He wants to do something eclectic. |
| [03:50.04] |
He's looking for someone who can create the entire menu. |
| [03:54.88] |
So,what do you think? |
| [03:58.25] |
Thanks. I just don't see myself in a big,white hat. |
| [04:04.79] |
Oh,Monica! Guess what? |
| [04:09.73] |
a perfect run-up and there he goes,a perfect.... |
| [04:13.93] |
Watch stuff like this... |
| [04:15.83] |
...and you realize why evolution is just a theory. |
| [04:23.74] |
Can you see my nipples through this shirt? |
| [04:28.55] |
No,but don't worry. I'm sure they're still there. |
| [04:33.12] |
Where are you going? |
| [04:34.79] |
I have an appointment with Dr. Robert Pilman,career counselor-a-go-go! |
| [04:41.53] |
-I added the "a-go-go." -Career counselor? - |
| [04:44.90] |
You guys all know what you want to do. |
| [04:49.93] |
You guys in the living room all know what you want to do. |
| [04:53.81] |
You have goals. You have dreams. I don't have a dream! |
| [04:57.74] |
The lesser-known "I Don't Have a Dream" speech. |
| [05:05.88] |
"Brian's Song"! |
| [05:10.46] |
-The meeting went great? -So great! - |
| [05:13.42] |
He showed me where the restaurant's gonna be. |
| [05:16.73] |
It's not too big or too small. It's just right. |
| [05:20.30] |
Was it formerly owned by a blond woman and some bears? |
| [05:24.47] |
I'm cooking for him Monday, kind of an audition. |
| [05:28.11] |
Phoebe,he wants you here. It's great. You can make yummy noises. |
| [05:33.01] |
-What are you gonna make? -Yummy noises. - |
| [05:37.35] |
-And Monica,what are you gonna make? -I don't know. It's gotta be great. |
| [05:42.49] |
I know what you can make! I know! |
| [05:45.00] |
You should make that thing with the stuff. |
| [05:49.56] |
You know that thing with the stuff? |
| [05:54.53] |
Okay,I don't know. |
| [05:57.67] |
Anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood? |
| [06:01.04] |
How about Tony's? If you finish a 32-ounce steak,it's free. |
| [06:09.11] |
Anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma? |
| [06:13.92] |
-Who are you going out with? -ls this the bug lady? - |
| [06:17.82] |
"I love you,Ross." |
| [06:21.69] |
Her name is Celia and she's insect curator at the museum. |
| [06:27.63] |
-What are you gonna do? -Go out to dinner... - |
| [06:31.47] |
...then bring her back to my place and introduce her to my monkey. |
| [06:37.88] |
And he's not speaking metaphorically. |
| [06:42.88] |
So back to your place? You thinking maybe.... |
| [06:52.82] |
I'm hoping.... |
| [06:58.40] |
She'll take one look at his cute, little face and it'll seal the deal. |
| [07:05.10] |
Celia,don't worry. He's not gonna hurt you! |
| [07:09.24] |
Soothing tones. |
| [07:12.11] |
-Here,Marcel. -I can't stand this. |
| [07:16.21] |
-He's got his claws on my -Yeah,all right. |
| [07:27.16] |
Okay,try this salmon mousse. |
| [07:31.53] |
Good. |
| [07:33.06] |
Is it better than the other salmon mousse? |
| [07:36.27] |
-It's creamier. -Yeah? Well,is that better? - |
| [07:40.30] |
I don't know. We're talking about whipped fish. |
| [07:44.74] |
I'm just happy I'm keeping it down. |
| [07:53.02] |
God,what happened to you? |
| [07:58.12] |
...intelligence tests,personality tests,and what do I learn? |
| [08:03.09] |
"You're suited for data processing for a large multinational corporation." |
| [08:09.17] |
That's so great! You already know how to do that. |
| [08:13.17] |
Can you believe it? |
| [08:15.17] |
Don't I seem like I should be doing something cool? |
| [08:18.88] |
I just always pictured myself doing something.... |
| [08:23.05] |
Something! |
| [08:24.52] |
Chandler,I know,I know. |
| [08:28.12] |
Hey,you can see your nipples through this shirt. |
| [08:35.53] |
Maybe this will cheer you up. |
| [08:38.66] |
I had a grape about five hours ago, so I better split this with you. 5 |
| [08:44.30] |
It's supposed to be small. It's a pre-appetizer. |
| [08:47.81] |
The French call it an amuse-bouche. |
| [08:53.54] |
Well,it is amusing. |
| [09:03.82] |
Hi,Wendy. Yeah,8:00. |
| [09:07.89] |
What did we say,$10 an hour? |
| [09:10.80] |
Okay,great. All right,I'll see you then. |
| [09:14.57] |
-$10 an hour for what? -A waitress from work is helping me. - |
| [09:19.47] |
Waitressing? |
| [09:24.41] |
Of course I thought of you. But.... |
| [09:28.75] |
-But.... -But,but.... |
| [09:32.48] |
But it's just this night has to go just perfect,you know? |
| [09:37.49] |
Wendy's more of a professional waitress. |
| [09:52.54] |
I don't mean to brag,but I waited tables at lnnsbruck in '76. |
| [09:59.31] |
Took home a bronze. |
| [10:04.42] |
Amuse-bouche? |
| [10:23.43] |
Talk to me. |
| [10:29.57] |
A weird thing happened on the train this morning |
| [10:33.11] |
Talk dirty. |
| [10:39.08] |
-Here? -Come on. Come on |
| [10:43.39] |
Say something hot. |
| [10:48.23] |
What? What? |
| [10:56.73] |
Vulva. |
| [11:11.58] |
Vulva? |
| [11:14.85] |
I panicked,all right? She took me by surprise. |
| [11:19.29] |
But it wasn't a total loss. We ended up cuddling. |
| [11:23.39] |
You cuddled? How many times? |
| [11:27.70] |
Shut up. It was nice. |
| [11:30.07] |
I don't think I'm a dirty-talking kind of guy. |
| [11:33.34] |
Just say what you wanna do to her. Or what you want her to do to you. |
| [11:38.28] |
Or what other people might be doing to each other. |
| [11:41.85] |
I'll tell you what. Try something on me. |
| [11:47.52] |
Please be kidding. |
| [11:51.69] |
Why not? |
| [11:53.16] |
Just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now. |
| [12:04.54] |
I'm in my apartment.... |
| [12:07.47] |
-Yeah,what else? -You're not there. |
| [12:10.07] |
-We're not having this conversation. -All right,I'll start. Ready? - |
| [12:16.78] |
Oh,Ross... |
| [12:20.45] |
...you get me so hot. I want your lips on me now. |
| [12:29.93] |
-Now you say something. -I really don't think so. - |
| [12:33.33] |
You like this woman,right? You wanna see her again,right? |
| [12:38.10] |
If you can't talk dirty to me, how will you talk dirty to her? |
| [12:42.64] |
Now tell me you wanna caress my butt! |
| [12:48.91] |
Okay,turn around. |
| [12:51.82] |
I don't want you staring at me. |
| [12:54.49] |
All right,I'm not looking. Go ahead. |
| [12:57.39] |
Okay. Ok. |
| [13:05.40] |
...to feel your hot,soft skin with my lips. |
| [13:10.20] |
There you go. IKeep going,keep going. |
| [13:19.41] |
I want to take my tongue and |
| [13:31.66] |
Say it. |
| [13:36.00] |
Say it! |
| [13:38.43] |
run it all over your body... |
| [13:43.50] |
... until you're trembling with |
| [14:05.09] |
With? |
| [14:08.89] |
-Funny story. -You're not gonna believe this. - |
| [14:12.70] |
I was always rooting for you two kids to get together. |
| [14:19.20] |
-The trembling thing was nice. -Shut up! - |
| [14:22.51] |
That guy from your old job called again. |
| [14:26.24] |
-Again? -And again and again and again. |
| [14:35.09] |
And again. |
| [14:37.52] |
Hey,Mr. Costilick. How's life on the 1 5th floor? |
| [14:42.26] |
Yeah,I miss you too. |
| [14:44.13] |
It's a lot less satisfying to steal pens from your own home. |
| [14:50.23] |
That's very generous. But this isn't about the money. |
| [14:54.41] |
I need more than a job. I need something I really care ab |
| [14:59.34] |
That's on top of the year-end bonus? |
| [15:02.58] |
Your dream! |
| [15:04.15] |
Look,Al,I'm not playing hardball here,okay? |
| [15:07.75] |
This is not a negotiation. This is a rejection! |
| [15:13.02] |
Stop saying numbers! |
| [15:14.73] |
I'm telling you, you've got the wrong guy! |
| [15:18.36] |
I'll see you Monday! |
| [15:39.72] |
This is a cube! |
| [15:42.25] |
Look at this. |
| [15:47.32] |
You have a window! |
| [15:50.49] |
Yes,indeed-y. With a beautiful view of |
| [15:53.86] |
Look! That guy's peeing! |
| [15:57.74] |
That's enough of the view. Check this out. |
| [16:01.67] |
Okay,sit down here. |
| [16:03.74] |
This is great. |
| [16:06.64] |
-You ready? -Yeah. |
| [16:09.21] |
Helen,could you come in here? |
| [16:17.02] |
Thank you,Helen. That'll be all. |
| [16:20.93] |
Last time I do that. I promise. |
| [16:28.10] |
-She doesn't seem very warm. -I know. She has no personality. - |
| [16:37.34] |
Wendy,don't do this to me. |
| [16:40.08] |
We had a deal. Yeah,you promised. |
| [16:51.29] |
-Who was that? -Wendy bailed. - |
| [16:56.33] |
I have no waitress. |
| [16:59.76] |
That's too bad. Bye-bye. |
| [17:04.90] |
Ten dollars an hour! Twelve dollars an hour! |
| [17:08.41] |
I wish I could,but I've made plans to walk around. |
| [17:13.04] |
When you ran out on your wedding, I was there. |
| [17:16.41] |
I put a roof over your head! If that means nothing.... |
| [17:21.09] |
Twenty dollars an hour. |
| [17:24.25] |
Done. |
| [17:32.20] |
Hello. Welcome to Monica's. May I take your coat? |
| [17:39.40] |
-Hi,Steve. -Hello,Monica. - |
| [17:41.57] |
Hello,greeter girl. |
| [17:44.38] |
-This is Rachel. -Yeah,okay. |
| [17:51.28] |
I can't remember ever smelling such a delicious combination of |
| [17:55.79] |
Okay,smells. |
| [17:58.59] |
-It's a lovely apartment. -Thank you. Would you like a tour? - |
| [18:03.26] |
I was just being polite, but all right. |
| [18:09.20] |
-What's up? -ln the cab on the way over... - |
| [18:12.20] |
...Steve blazed up a doobie. |
| [18:16.01] |
What? 什么? |
| [18:17.54] |
Smoked a joint,you know? Lit a bone. Weed,hemp,ganja |
| [18:23.45] |
I'm with you,Cheech. |
| [18:27.45] |
-Do you think he's gonna be cool? -ls it dry in here? - |
| [18:34.59] |
Let me get you some wine. |
| [18:37.03] |
I think we're ready for our first course too. |
| [18:42.67] |
These are rock shrimp ravioli in a cilantro ponzu sauce... |
| [18:47.60] |
...with just a touch of minced... |
| [18:55.18] |
...ginger. |
| [18:57.21] |
Well,smack my ass and call me Judy! |
| [19:03.59] |
-These are fantastic! -Gosh! I'm so glad you liked them. - |
| [19:08.00] |
Like them? I could eat 100 of them! |
| [19:13.60] |
That's all there is of these... |
| [19:19.84] |
"Tartlets"? |
| [19:21.71] |
"Tartlets." |
| [19:24.21] |
"Tartlets." |
| [19:27.74] |
Word has lost all meaning. |
| [19:36.12] |
Excuse me. Can I help you with anything? |
| [19:39.19] |
You know,I don't know what I'm looking for. |
| [19:58.01] |
Cool! Taco shells! |
| [20:02.41] |
They're like a little corn envelope,you know? |
| [20:11.16] |
You know,if you just wait another 6 1 /2 minutes |
| [20:14.76] |
Macaroni and cheese! We gotta make this! |
| [20:22.33] |
-No,we don't. -Oh,okay. - |
| [20:27.14] |
Sorry. |
| [20:32.71] |
Why don't you just have a seat here? |
| [20:40.92] |
-Give me the gummy bears. -No. - |
| [20:46.69] |
-Give them to me. -We'll share. - |
| [20:49.03] |
-No. Give me the bears. -You can't have any. - |
| [20:52.70] |
It's not worth it! |
| [20:55.07] |
Bears overboard! They're drowning! |
| [20:59.50] |
Don't just stand there. Call 9-1 -1. |
| [21:03.44] |
Hey,fellas,grab onto a Sugar-O! Save yourselves! |
| [21:07.21] |
Help! Help,I'm drowning! |
| [21:12.65] |
-That's it! Dinner is over! -What! Why? - |
| [21:16.39] |
Why? What if I came into your office and I started...? |
| [21:21.56] |
I can't think of an example. |
| [21:23.53] |
I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this... |
| [21:27.23] |
...and you can't wait 4 1 /2 minutes for a tartlet? |
| [21:39.41] |
So I told him, "I'm sorry. That's how I feel." |
| [21:42.58] |
And he told me I harsh-ed his buzz. |
| [21:47.12] |
Then I said,"Don't eat that. It's a kitchen magnet." |
| [21:52.52] |
And he didn't listen, so we left him in the emergency room. |
| [21:57.66] |
-Mon,I'm sorry. -What a tool. - |
| [22:02.27] |
-You did the right thing. -You don't wanna work for that guy. - |
| [22:07.47] |
I just thought that this was it. |
| [22:10.57] |
-Don't worry. You're an amazing chef. -Those yummy noises? I wasn't faking. - |
| [22:17.31] |
Am I gonna get paid for the full three hours? |
| [22:20.42] |
Just a question. We'll talk about it later. |
| [22:28.16] |
So,how did it go with Celia? |
| [22:31.86] |
-I was unbelievable. -All right,Ross! - |
| [22:36.20] |
I was the James Michener of dirty talk. |
| [22:39.07] |
It was the most elaborate filth ever heard. |
| [22:42.01] |
I mean,there were characters, plot lines,themes,a motif. |
| [22:47.54] |
At one point,there were villagers. |
| [22:52.08] |
And? |
| [22:54.92] |
By the time we finished all the dirty talk... |
| [22:58.36] |
...it was late and we were exhausted |
| [23:01.06] |
-You cuddled. -Yeah,which was nice. - |
| [23:04.16] |
Do you guys want to try to catch a late movie? |
| [23:08.07] |
-Shouldn't we wait for Chandler? -Where the hell is he? - |
| [23:12.24] |
I know what time it is... |
| [23:14.40] |
...but I'm looking at the WENUS and I'm not happy! |
| [23:18.74] |
Let me tell you something. |
| [23:20.91] |
You will care about it because I care about it. Got it? Good! |
| [23:42.93] |
Sorry. How about over here? |
| [23:45.47] |
That means it's working. |
| [23:47.50] |
-Does this hurt? -No. |
| [23:52.44] |
There you go! |
| [24:01.08] |
I'm gonna throw up! |
