| [00:32.-1] |
...your nippular areas. … |
| [01:41.-4] |
-But you tell it really well,sweetie. -Thanks. Okay. - |
| [02:14.-1] |
Okay,you guys want anything else? |
| [03:06.-3] |
That's it? I mean,mittens are "nice." |
| [03:57.-1] |
-How did you know that? -It's textbook. - |
| [04:46.-3] |
I gotta go. Miss you too. |
| [10:22.-2] |
Good night,you guys. |
| [14:22.-2] |
Now I'm looking at my dad,thinking |
| [14:28.-4] |
When they wanted you in your father's business,did you cave? |
| [16:14.-4] |
-What's with you? -I thought it was Chandler! - |
| [17:32.-3] |
Why'd you fill your father's head with garbage... |
| [19:14.-3] |
I just did what I thought you'd want. |
| [23:34.-3] |
Hello,dear! |
| [00:16.09] |
-I'm sorry! -That is it! - |
| [00:18.76] |
You barge in here and you don't knock? |
| [00:21.37] |
You have no respect for privacy. No,you wait! - |
| [00:25.14] |
-Can I just say one thing? -What?! - |
| [00:27.77] |
That's a relatively open weave. I can still see... |
| [00:38.12] |
The One With The Boobies |
| [01:26.33] |
Honey,tell them the story about your patient... |
| [01:30.27] |
...who thinks things are other things. |
| [01:33.00] |
When the phone rings and she takes a shower. |
| [01:37.74] |
That's pretty much it. |
| [01:45.85] |
Now go away so we can talk about you. |
| [01:48.92] |
Okay. I'll miss you. |
| [01:52.62] |
-lsn't he great? -He's cute. He likes you so much. - |
| [01:56.29] |
I know. He's so sweet. And so complicated,you know? |
| [02:00.60] |
And for a shrink, he's not too shrinky. |
| [02:03.90] |
Think you'll do it on his couch? |
| [02:06.27] |
I don't know. That's a little weird. |
| [02:09.27] |
It's vinyl. |
| [02:16.51] |
-Could I have? -We're all out. Anybody else? |
| [02:20.92] |
Did I miss something? |
| [02:22.89] |
No,she's still upset because I saw her boobies. |
| [02:26.89] |
What were you doing seeing her boobies? |
| [02:30.10] |
It was an accident. I wasn't across the street with a telescope. |
| [02:35.80] |
Can we change the subject,please? |
| [02:38.74] |
These aren't her "boobies." These are her breasts. |
| [02:43.68] |
Pheebs,I was hoping for more of a change. |
| [02:47.81] |
I always liked "Bazoombas." |
| [02:51.02] |
Gives them a Latin spin. |
| [02:54.29] |
Can we drop this already,please? |
| [02:58.12] |
Why are you embarrassed? They were very nice boobies. |
| [03:03.03] |
"Nice"? They were "nice"? |
| [03:10.80] |
Okay. Rock,hard place. Me. |
| [03:20.01] |
You're so funny! |
| [03:22.51] |
He's really funny. |
| [03:24.75] |
I wouldn't wanna be there when the laughter stops. |
| [03:29.25] |
Whoa,back up there,sparky. |
| [03:32.92] |
What did you mean by that? |
| [03:35.19] |
It seems that maybe you have intimacy issues... |
| [03:38.60] |
...that you use your humor to keep people at a distance. |
| [03:45.00] |
I mean,I just met you. I don't know you from Adam. |
| [03:49.64] |
Only child,right? |
| [03:52.21] |
Parents divorced before you hit puberty. |
| [04:03.12] |
Hey,you guys. You all know my dad,right? |
| [04:06.82] |
-How long are you in the city? -Two days. I got a job. - |
| [04:10.53] |
I'm better off staying with Joey... |
| [04:12.90] |
...than going back and forth on the ferry. |
| [04:15.73] |
-I don't know this one. -This is my friend Roger. - |
| [04:19.04] |
-Good to meet you. -You too. - |
| [04:21.04] |
-What happened to the puppet guy? -Dad. - |
| [04:25.34] |
Oh,excuse me. So,Ross,how's the wife? |
| [04:32.22] |
0 for 2,huh? |
| [04:34.62] |
Chandler,say something funny. |
| [04:48.87] |
-I love you,but it's getting late -Say hi. Hey,Ma. - |
| [04:53.07] |
I made the appointment with Dr. Bassida and |
| [04:57.81] |
Excuse me? |
| [05:02.85] |
Did you know this isn't Ma? |
| [05:13.63] |
Her name's Ronni. |
| [05:15.86] |
She's a pet mortician. |
| [05:21.70] |
Sure. |
| [05:23.94] |
So,how long you been...? |
| [05:28.47] |
Remember when you were a kid, I'd take you to the navy yard? |
| [05:32.84] |
-Since then? -No,it's only been six years. |
| [05:36.68] |
I wanted you to think of a nice memory so you'd know I'm not a terrible guy. |
| [05:43.76] |
-What are you doing? -Chopping garlic. - |
| [05:46.22] |
You don't crush it? |
| [05:48.03] |
You're having an affair, I chop garlic. It's a wacky world. |
| [05:53.70] |
Joe,you ever been in love? |
| [05:57.90] |
-I don't know. -Then you haven't. - |
| [06:01.54] |
-You're burning tomatoes. -You're one to talk. - |
| [06:07.18] |
Your dad's in love. The worst part is, it's with two different women. |
| [06:12.35] |
Oh,man! Please tell me one of them is Ma. |
| [06:15.55] |
Of course one of them's Ma. What's the matter with you? |
| [06:27.00] |
It's like if you woke up and found out... |
| [06:29.87] |
...your dad leads this double life. |
| [06:32.30] |
He's like actually some spy working for the ClA. |
| [06:36.91] |
That'd be cool. |
| [06:39.04] |
This blows! |
| [06:41.71] |
Do you think Dad cheated? |
| [06:43.51] |
I don't think so. That would involve sex. |
| [06:46.38] |
I'd like to think that our parents don't do that. |
| [06:53.73] |
I know. Why can't parents just stay parents? |
| [06:57.03] |
Why do they have to become people? Why do they have? |
| [07:01.70] |
Why... |
| [07:04.87] |
...can't you stop staring at my breasts? … |
| [07:09.57] |
What? |
| [07:13.01] |
What? |
| [07:15.15] |
Didn't you get a good enough look? |
| [07:18.12] |
We're all adults here. There's only one way to resolve this. |
| [07:22.62] |
Since you saw her boobies you have to show her your pee-pee. |
| [07:36.47] |
You know, I don't see that happening. |
| [07:39.90] |
Come on. He's right. Tit for tat. |
| [07:47.15] |
Well,I'm not showing you my tat! |
| [07:53.82] |
-It's Phoebe. -And Rog! - |
| [07:57.76] |
Come on up. |
| [07:59.02] |
Oh,good! Rog is here. |
| [08:03.23] |
-What's the matter with Rog? -It's a little thing. I hate that guy! - |
| [08:09.13] |
So he was a little analytical. That's what he does. |
| [08:13.04] |
Come on,he's not that bad. |
| [08:15.14] |
You're wrong! Why would I marry her... |
| [08:18.14] |
...if I thought that she was a lesbian? |
| [08:21.78] |
I don't know. Maybe you wanted your marriage to fail. |
| [08:30.69] |
Why? Why would l? Why? |
| [08:34.63] |
I don't know. Maybe low self-esteem? |
| [08:38.70] |
Maybe to compensate for overshadowing a sibling. Maybe |
| [08:43.53] |
Wait! Go back to that "sibling" thing. |
| [08:46.24] |
Well,I don't know. |
| [08:48.84] |
You could've sabotaged your marriage... |
| [08:52.28] |
...so the sibling would feel like less of a failure. |
| [08:59.65] |
That's ridiculous! I don't feel guilty for her failures. |
| [09:06.49] |
-You think I'm a failure? -lsn't he good? - |
| [09:09.29] |
Yeah. No,that's not what I was saying. |
| [09:12.70] |
I thought you were on my side. |
| [09:15.00] |
But maybe you sucked up to them so they'd favor you. |
| [09:18.87] |
I married a lesbian to make you look good! |
| [09:26.24] |
You're right. I mean,you're right. |
| [09:29.31] |
It wasn't just the Weebles, but the Weeble Play Palace... |
| [09:35.79] |
...and the Weeble's Cruise Ship... |
| [09:38.29] |
...with this lifeboat for the Weebles to wobble in. |
| [09:43.66] |
And Mom just gave them all away. |
| [09:47.27] |
That's tough,tough stuff. |
| [09:50.20] |
Pheebs,we're gonna catch that movie, we gotta go. |
| [09:53.67] |
-Feel better. -We're gonna be late,sweetie. - |
| [09:57.61] |
-Thanks for everything,Mon. -No problem. - |
| [10:00.88] |
Listen,it was great seeing you again. |
| [10:05.35] |
Mon,easy on those cookies,okay? |
| [10:08.49] |
Remember,they're just food, they're not love. |
| [10:16.73] |
I hate that guy! |
| [10:26.34] |
Oh,look. It's the woman we ordered. |
| [10:33.11] |
Hey,can we help you? |
| [10:35.75] |
No,thanks. I'm just waiting for Joey Tribbiani. |
| [10:40.42] |
I'm Joey Tribbiani. |
| [10:42.85] |
Oh,no,not you. Big Joey. Oh,my God! |
| [10:47.09] |
You're so much cuter than your pictures. |
| [10:52.26] |
I'm Ronni. |
| [10:57.10] |
Cheese Nip? |
| [11:00.74] |
Joey's having an embolism, but I'd go for a nip. |
| [11:11.05] |
Most people, when their pets pass on... |
| [11:13.82] |
...want them like they're sleeping. |
| [11:16.69] |
Occasionally you get a person who wants them in a pose. |
| [11:20.93] |
Like chasing their tail. |
| [11:23.53] |
Or jumping to catch a Frisbee. |
| [11:28.10] |
Joey,if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys. |
| [11:33.30] |
-That's a good one! -Hey. |
| [11:35.07] |
Hey,Dad. Ronni's here. |
| [11:37.51] |
-Hi. -Hey. |
| [11:39.81] |
Hello,babe! What are you doing here? |
| [11:44.62] |
Oh,you left your hair at my place. |
| [11:47.69] |
I thought you'd need it tomorrow. |
| [11:53.12] |
Thank you. |
| [11:55.93] |
So,who's up for a big game of Kerplunk? |
| [12:03.07] |
Look,I shouldn't have come. |
| [12:06.30] |
I better go. I'll miss the train. |
| [12:08.77] |
-I don't want you taking that thing. -Where do I stay? Here? - |
| [12:15.11] |
We'll go to a hotel. |
| [12:17.55] |
We'll go to a hotel. |
| [12:20.22] |
-No,you won't. -No,we won't. |
| [12:22.55] |
If you go to a hotel, you'll be doing stuff. |
| [12:25.56] |
I want you here so I can keep an eye on you. |
| [12:28.56] |
-You're gonna keep an eye on us? -Right. - |
| [12:31.80] |
As long as you are under my roof... |
| [12:34.53] |
...you're gonna live by my rules. — |
| [12:40.50] |
That means no sleeping with your girlfriend. |
| [12:44.11] |
Wow,he's strict. |
| [12:47.28] |
Dad,you'll be in my room. You can stay in Chandler's room. |
| [12:51.22] |
And Chandler will be? |
| [12:53.68] |
Out here with me,bunking up. |
| [12:56.00] |
Oh,bunking up. If you smell s'mores, don't be alarmed. |
| [13:00.62] |
Thanks. You're a good kid. |
| [13:03.33] |
I'll show you to my room. |
| [13:07.00] |
That sounds weird not followed by, "No,it's late." |
| [13:15.11] |
This is just for tonight. Tomorrow you gotta change. |
| [13:20.31] |
Change? |
| [13:21.55] |
-Break up with Ronni -I can't! - |
| [13:23.78] |
Then come clean with Ma! This is not right! |
| [13:27.08] |
I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room! |
| [13:43.67] |
Hey,kickie! |
| [13:47.84] |
-What are you doing? -Getting comfortable. - |
| [13:50.74] |
-I can't sleep in my underwear. -Well,you're gonna. - |
| [14:00.48] |
I was thinking about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls.... |
| [14:08.26] |
Are they end-to-end, or tall,like pancakes? |
| [14:12.13] |
You know,how I date all these women. |
| [14:15.43] |
I always figured,when the right one comes along... |
| [14:18.74] |
... I'll be able to go the distance. |
| [14:24.68] |
You're not him,you're you. |
| [14:32.02] |
-No. -No. -No.-No. |
| [14:33.28] |
You chose the out-of-work-actor business. |
| [14:37.56] |
That wasn't easy,but you did it. |
| [14:40.62] |
I believe when the right woman comes along... |
| [14:43.73] |
...you'll have the guts to say, "No,thanks,I'm married." |
| [14:54.07] |
-You really think so? -Yeah,I really do. - |
| [14:57.94] |
-Thanks,Chandler. -Get off! |
| [15:12.72] |
-Hi. -Hi. May I help you? -Hi - |
| [15:14.79] |
Joey said I could use your shower since Chandler's in ours. |
| [15:20.03] |
Okay. Who are you? ok. |
| [15:22.53] |
Oh,I'm Ronni. Ronni Rapalono. |
| [15:25.77] |
The mistress? |
| [15:29.54] |
-Come on in. -Thanks. |
| [15:31.54] |
I'm Rachel. Bathroom's there. |
| [15:33.71] |
Ronni,how long has Chandler been in the shower? |
| [15:37.31] |
Oh,like five minutes. |
| [15:40.28] |
Perfect. |
| [15:43.59] |
Fasten your seat belts, it's pee-pee time. |
| [15:53.03] |
-Hey,Mr. Trib. -Hey,good morning,dear. - |
| [15:58.07] |
Chandler Bing, it's time to see your thing. |
| [16:17.55] |
You were supposed to be in there so I'd see your thing! |
| [16:22.76] |
Sorry,my thing was in there with me. |
| [16:34.57] |
-How's it going? -Good. |
| [16:36.77] |
Roger's having a dinner thing. He wanted me to invite you guys. |
| [16:44.48] |
-So,what's going on? -Nothing. |
| [16:47.52] |
It's just.... |
| [16:49.89] |
It's Roger,you know? |
| [16:52.19] |
There's something about |
| [16:54.16] |
We just feel that he's.... |
| [16:56.49] |
-We hate that guy! -We hate him! - |
| [16:59.33] |
-We're sorry,Pheebs. |
| [17:02.30] |
Don't you think it's just that he's so perceptive... |
| [17:06.10] |
...it freaked you out? |
| [17:07.91] |
No,we hate him! |
| [17:09.91] |
I'm sorry. |
| [17:24.39] |
-Ma! What are you doing here? -I came to give you this and this! - |
| [17:30.19] |
Big ring! |
| [17:35.47] |
...about making things right? |
| [17:38.14] |
Things were fine this way! |
| [17:40.44] |
There's chicken in there. Put it away. |
| [17:43.61] |
For God's sake,Joey! Really. |
| [17:48.88] |
-Hold on. You knew? -Of course I knew. What do you think? - |
| [17:53.32] |
Your father is no James Bond. |
| [17:55.65] |
You should've heard his stories. |
| [17:58.00] |
"I'm sleeping over at my accountant's." “ |
| [18:00.69] |
-What is that? Please! -So then,how could you? - |
| [18:05.00] |
Do you remember how your father used to be? |
| [18:07.87] |
Always yelling. Nothing made him happy. |
| [18:11.27] |
Not that wood shop,not those stupid little ships in the bottle. |
| [18:16.24] |
Now he's happy. I mean,it's nice. He has a hobby. |
| [18:23.15] |
Ma,I don't mean to be disrespectful... |
| [18:26.82] |
... but what the hell are you talking about? |
| [18:29.92] |
-I mean,what about you? -Me? I'm fine. - |
| [18:33.86] |
Look,honey,in an ideal world... |
| [18:37.90] |
...there'd be no her and your father would look like Sting. |
| [18:43.30] |
And something else: |
| [18:45.17] |
Ever since that poodle-stuffer came along... |
| [18:48.84] |
... he's so ashamed of himself that he's been more attentive. |
| [18:53.48] |
He's been more loving. It's like every day is our anniversary. |
| [18:58.32] |
-I'm happy for you? -Well,don't be! - |
| [19:03.02] |
Now everything's screwed up. |
| [19:06.39] |
I just want it the way it was. |
| [19:10.86] |
Ma,I'm sorry. |
| [19:17.73] |
I know you did,cookie. I know you did. |
| [19:24.58] |
So tell me. Did you see her? |
| [19:30.18] |
Yeah. |
| [19:32.15] |
-You're 10 times prettier than she is. -That's sweet. - |
| [19:38.46] |
Could I take her? |
| [19:41.09] |
With this ring,no contest. |
| [19:55.01] |
Oh,no! Don't ever do that! oh, |
| [19:57.27] |
-What? -I'm sorry. |
| [19:58.68] |
I have a thing, which means you can't ever do that! |
| [20:04.68] |
-What's wrong,sweetie? -Nothing. |
| [20:08.39] |
-No,what's wrong? Come on. -Okay. |
| [20:15.56] |
It's nothing. I'm fine. It's just It's my friends. |
| [20:19.80] |
They have a liking problem with you... |
| [20:22.67] |
...in that they don't. |
| [20:29.17] |
They don't? They don't? |
| [20:31.34] |
But they don't see all the wonderfulness that I see. |
| [20:35.88] |
They don't see all the good and sweet stuff. |
| [20:39.65] |
-They think you're a little -What? |
| [20:43.19] |
Intense and creepy. |
| [20:47.36] |
-Oh. -But I don't. Me,Phoebe. -oh - |
| [20:53.40] |
-I'm not at all surprised about that. -That's why you're so great. - |
| [20:58.67] |
It's quite typical behavior... |
| [21:01.07] |
...when you have this kind of dysfunctional group dynamic. |
| [21:05.41] |
You know,this kind of codependent, emotionally stunted... |
| [21:10.21] |
...sitting in your stupid coffeehouse, with your stupid big cups... |
| [21:15.65] |
...which might as well have nipples on them. |
| [21:20.26] |
And you're all like, "Oh,define me! Define me! |
| [21:25.00] |
Love me! I need love! |
| [21:29.27] |
You talked to your dad? |
| [21:31.10] |
He's gonna keep cheating on Ma like she wanted. |
| [21:34.40] |
Ma will keep pretending she doesn't know. |
| [21:37.31] |
And my sister,Tina, can't see her husband. |
| [21:40.21] |
He got a restraining order. |
| [21:43.15] |
Which has nothing to do with it. I found out today. |
| [21:47.88] |
Things have changed here on Waltons'mountain. |
| [21:52.69] |
-So,Joey,are you okay? -Yeah,I guess. |
| [21:55.89] |
It's just You know,they're parents. |
| [21:58.50] |
After a certain point, you gotta let go. |
| [22:01.80] |
You gotta let them make their own mistakes. |
| [22:06.27] |
And think,in a few years, we'll turn into them. |
| [22:09.84] |
Oh,please. |
| [22:11.34] |
If I turn into my parents,I'll be an alcoholic blond chasing men... |
| [22:15.88] |
...or I'll end up like my mom! |
| [22:23.62] |
-Hey. -Hey,Pheebs. |
| [22:25.76] |
How's it going? |
| [22:27.66] |
Okay,except I broke up with Roger. |
| [22:32.63] |
-Yeah,right. -No,no,really. |
| [22:37.60] |
-What happened? -I don't know. I mean... - |
| [22:41.51] |
... he's a good person, and he can be really sweet. |
| [22:45.78] |
In some ways, I think he is so right for me. |
| [22:48.88] |
It's just.... I hate that guy! |
| [22:59.09] |
Hi,Joey. What's going on? Hi, |
| [23:01.89] |
Clear the tracks for the boobie payback. |
| [23:04.76] |
Next stop,Rachel Greene. |
| [23:12.87] |
Joey,what the hell were you doing? |
| [23:15.77] |
Sorry,wrong boobies! |
| [23:31.29] |
Hello,Joey! |
