| [03:37.-3] |
-Phoebe,you' re on. -Oh,good. |
| [05:14.-3] |
Sorry,l |
| [06:15.-4] |
I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. |
| [08:42.-2] |
Okay. But if he asks, I'm not going to lie. |
| [09:31.-1] |
The longer I waited,the more phenomenal the kiss had to be. |
| [10:55.-2] |
-Your ex-boyfriend? -Yeah. - |
| [12:37.-2] |
If you see him,tell him to pack. We are going to Minsk. |
| [13:16.-2] |
Congratulations! This is so exciting! |
| [15:03.-4] |
Of course,we were,but Forgive and forget. |
| [17:51.-4] |
-Ow! -Okay. |
| [18:41.-3] |
... but at least check in. |
| [18:59.-1] |
Kill me. Kill me now. |
| [20:02.-4] |
Let me talk to you for just a sec. |
| [20:15.-3] |
-l' m sorry. -Yeah,yeah,okay. - |
| [20:27.-2] |
All right,Janice,that's it! |
| [22:34.-3] |
... because you don't wanna start the year with me if you can't finish it. |
| [24:00.-1] |
... but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here. |
| [00:05.92] |
All right! You guys, it's starting to snow. |
| [00:09.75] |
And look,Ugly Naked Guy is hanging candy canes. |
| [00:14.16] |
Where? |
| [00:16.43] |
Oh. Well. |
| [00:19.30] |
That's festive. |
| [00:23.50] |
Guys,there's somebody I'd like you to meet. |
| [00:29.54] |
Wait,wait. What is that? |
| [00:31.48] |
-That's Marcel. Wanna say hi? -No,I don't. - |
| [00:34.68] |
-He's cute! Where'd you get him? -My friend Bethel saved him from a lab. - |
| [00:39.42] |
That is so cruel. |
| [00:41.00] |
Why would a parent name their child Bethel? |
| [00:47.39] |
That monkey's got a Ross on his ass. |
| [00:54.67] |
Is he gonna live with you in your apartment? |
| [00:57.84] |
Yeah. It's been kind of quiet since Carol left. |
| [01:01.24] |
Why not get a roommate? |
| [01:03.24] |
You reach a certain age,having a roommate is just kind of pathet |
| [01:11.05] |
That's " pathet. " Sanskrit for " really cool way to live. |
| [01:16.86] |
The One With the Monkey |
| [02:04.90] |
I' m doing new material tonight. |
| [02:07.41] |
I have 1 2 songs about my mother's suicide and one about a snowman. |
| [02:14.18] |
You might wanna open with the snowman. |
| [02:18.08] |
-Hi,Joey. -Hey,buddy. |
| [02:20.55] |
-So how'd it go? -I didn't get the job. - |
| [02:25.66] |
How could you not? You were Santa last year. |
| [02:29.66] |
Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. |
| [02:35.03] |
He's not even jolly. It's all political. |
| [02:38.10] |
-What are you gonna be? -One of his helpers. - |
| [02:41.57] |
It's just such a slap in the face, you know? |
| [02:44.78] |
Do you know what you' re doing for New Year's? |
| [02:49.38] |
Hey,what? What is wrong with New Year's? |
| [02:52.32] |
You have Paolo. You don't have to face the pressure... |
| [02:56.82] |
...of finding lips to kiss when the ball drops! |
| [03:01.03] |
Man,I'm talking loud! |
| [03:04.33] |
Paolo's gonna be in Rome this New Year's. |
| [03:08.03] |
-I'll be just as pathetic as you. -Yeah,you wish. - |
| [03:13.84] |
I've got an idea. Dinner. |
| [03:16.21] |
It's perfect. We'll put it between lunch and breakfast. |
| [03:21.75] |
I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. |
| [03:25.72] |
I say this year,we make a pact. Just the six of us. Dinner. |
| [03:30.16] |
-Sure. -Fine. |
| [03:31.76] |
I was hoping for more enthusiasm. |
| [03:39.66] |
Hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand... |
| [03:43.60] |
... Miss Phoebe Buffay. |
| [03:49.24] |
Hi. Thanks. Hi. hi. |
| [03:52.44] |
I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me. |
| [04:01.69] |
I made a man with eyes of coal |
| [04:05.02] |
And a smile so bewitching |
| [04:08.89] |
How was I supposed to know |
| [04:11.70] |
That my mom was dead in the kitchen? |
| [04:21.71] |
My mother's ashes |
| [04:24.54] |
Even her eyelashes |
| [04:27.81] |
Are resting in a little yellow jar |
| [04:36.35] |
And sometimes when it's freezing |
| [04:39.82] |
I feel a little sneezy |
| [04:42.86] |
And now I Excuse me? Excuse me? Yeah,noisy boys. |
| [04:49.17] |
Is it something you'd like to share with the group? |
| [04:54.07] |
No. No,that's okay. |
| [04:56.77] |
If it's important enough while I'm playing... |
| [04:59.91] |
...it's important enough for everyone else. |
| [05:03.31] |
That guy's going home with a note. |
| [05:11.52] |
-I was just saying -Speak up. - |
| [05:16.13] |
I was saying you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. |
| [05:20.73] |
And he said that Daryl Hannah... |
| [05:23.13] |
...was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. |
| [05:26.67] |
I said I liked her in Splash, but not Wall Street. |
| [05:30.07] |
I thought she had a hard quality. |
| [05:34.11] |
While Daryl is beautiful in a conventional way... |
| [05:37.62] |
...you are luminous with a kind of delicate grace. |
| [05:43.76] |
Then that's when you started yelling. |
| [05:54.63] |
We're gonna take a short break. |
| [06:01.11] |
That guy's going home with more than a note. |
| [06:09.05] |
Come here,Marcel. Sit here. |
| [06:18.12] |
By my sixth date with Paolo, he'd already named both my breasts. |
| [06:26.23] |
Did I just share too much? |
| [06:29.93] |
Just a smidge. |
| [06:32.44] |
David's,like,a scientist guy. He's very methodical. |
| [06:36.24] |
-I think it's romantic. -Me too! - |
| [06:38.51] |
Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman? |
| [06:42.28] |
He's kind of like the guy I went to see that with. |
| [06:50.79] |
Except he's smarter and gentler and sweeter. |
| [06:55.59] |
I just wanna be with him all the time. |
| [06:58.70] |
You know,day and night. And night and day. |
| [07:02.27] |
And special occasions. |
| [07:07.17] |
I see. You're gonna ask him to New Year's. |
| [07:10.44] |
-She's gonna break the pact. -No! No,no. |
| [07:14.71] |
No. Yeah,could I just? |
| [07:19.62] |
-Yeah. I already asked Janice. -What? - |
| [07:22.65] |
This was a pact! This was your pact! |
| [07:25.59] |
I couldn't handle the pressure. I snapped! |
| [07:28.43] |
But that was the worst breakup in history! |
| [07:31.66] |
I'm not saying it was a good idea. I snapped! |
| [07:36.43] |
Hi,sorry I'm late. |
| [07:47.81] |
Too many jokes. |
| [07:51.15] |
Must mock Joey. |
| [07:55.02] |
Nice shoes,huh? |
| [07:57.86] |
God,you're killing me! |
| [08:01.73] |
Ross,he's playing with my spatulas again! |
| [08:05.20] |
-He's not gonna hurt them,right? -Do you always have to bring him? - |
| [08:11.24] |
I didn't wanna leave him alone. We had our first fight this morning. |
| [08:17.74] |
It has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean. |
| [08:24.82] |
He threw some feces. |
| [08:30.46] |
If you're working late, I can look in on him. |
| [08:33.69] |
That would be great! |
| [08:35.73] |
But make sure it seems like you're there to see him. |
| [08:39.70] |
You're not doing it for me. |
| [08:51.54] |
But you can't actually test this theory. |
| [08:54.31] |
T oday's particle accelerators aren't powerful enough... |
| [08:58.72] |
-...to simulate these conditions. -I have a question then. - |
| [09:03.15] |
-Yeah? -Do you plan on kissing me ever? |
| [09:09.86] |
That's definitely a valid question, and the answer... |
| [09:14.70] |
...would be yes. Yes,I was. |
| [09:22.84] |
But I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss... |
| [09:26.24] |
...at a phenomenal moment because it's you. |
| [09:29.68] |
Sure. |
| [09:35.19] |
Now,it's just gotta be one of those things where l... |
| [09:39.52] |
...sweep everything off the table. … |
| [09:42.76] |
And I'm not really a sweeping sort of fella. |
| [09:45.86] |
David,I think you are a sweeping sort of fella. |
| [09:50.10] |
I mean,you're a sweeper trapped inside a physicist's body. |
| [09:55.41] |
-Really? -I'm sure |
| [09:57.11] |
You should just do it. Just throw me. |
| [10:03.41] |
-Now? -Yeah,right now. Just.... |
| [10:05.92] |
Okay. Okay. Okay. |
| [10:10.69] |
You know what? This is really expensive. |
| [10:14.63] |
And this was a gift. |
| [10:17.73] |
-Now you' re just tidying up. -Okay. - |
| [10:25.07] |
-You want me to throw you? -I can hop. - |
| [10:44.46] |
T ell me something,what does " no-date pact" mean to you? |
| [10:48.73] |
It's just that Chandler and Phoebe have somebody. |
| [10:52.80] |
I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby. |
| [10:57.40] |
-You know more than one Fun Bobby? -I happen to know a Fun Bob. - |
| [11:03.91] |
-Okay. Here we go. -There's no room for milk. - |
| [11:13.82] |
There. Now there is. |
| [11:16.15] |
So on our no-date evening, three of you now have dates. |
| [11:21.03] |
-Four. -Five. |
| [11:24.23] |
Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight. |
| [11:27.10] |
And I met this really hot single mom at the store. |
| [11:31.17] |
What's an elf to do? |
| [11:33.54] |
So I'll be the only one alone when the ball drops? |
| [11:38.14] |
We'll have a big party, and no one will know who's with who. |
| [11:42.55] |
I'll know. This is so not what I needed right now. |
| [11:46.68] |
-What's the matter? -Oh,it's Marcel. - |
| [11:51.72] |
He's angry with me. I have no idea why. He keeps shutting me out. |
| [11:56.83] |
He's walking around all the time, dragging his hands. |
| [12:01.17] |
That's weird. I had a blast with him. |
| [12:04.44] |
-Really? -We played,watched TV. - |
| [12:06.67] |
That juggling thing is amazing. |
| [12:12.14] |
What juggling thing? |
| [12:14.85] |
With the socks? I figured you taught him that. |
| [12:18.65] |
No. |
| [12:21.02] |
It wasn't that big a deal. Just socks. And a melon. |
| [12:29.26] |
-Phoebe! -Max. Do you know everybody? - |
| [12:32.06] |
No. Have you seen David? |
| [12:35.23] |
He hasn't been around. |
| [12:41.14] |
-Minsk? -Minsk. It's in Russia. |
| [12:44.74] |
I know where Minsk is. |
| [12:48.21] |
We got the grant. Three years,all expenses paid. |
| [12:52.32] |
And if you're gonna do Minsk, that's the way to go. |
| [12:56.65] |
-So when do you leave? -January 1 st. - |
| [13:07.06] |
-Hello? -What? Hey. Hi. - |
| [13:12.17] |
-What are you doing here? -Max told me about Minsk. - |
| [13:20.14] |
It'd be even more exciting if we were going. |
| [13:23.31] |
Oh,you're not going? Oh,why? |
| [13:27.18] |
T ell her. " I don't wanna go... |
| [13:29.42] |
...to work with Lipson, Yamaguchi and Flank. … |
| [13:32.89] |
I wanna stay and make out with my girlfriend! " |
| [13:36.36] |
Okay,thank you,Max. Thank you. |
| [13:40.36] |
So you're really not going? |
| [13:42.53] |
I don't know what I'm gonna do. I just.... |
| [13:45.87] |
How can I leave you? I just found you. |
| [13:48.77] |
Oh,David. But what are you gonna do? |
| [13:54.68] |
I don't know. You decide. |
| [13:57.21] |
-Don't do that. -But l' m asking you. - |
| [14:00.25] |
-I can't make a decision. Just -Okay. Stay. - |
| [14:06.19] |
-Stay. -Stay. - |
| [14:15.63] |
Getting so good at that! |
| [14:19.34] |
It was Max's stuff. |
| [14:29.38] |
I love this artichoke thing. |
| [14:32.32] |
Don't tell me what's in it. The diet starts tomorrow. |
| [14:40.32] |
You remember Janice. |
| [14:43.69] |
Vividly. |
| [14:45.90] |
-How are you? -I am fantastic. - |
| [14:49.83] |
Now. … |
| [14:52.50] |
It's amazing. We've been back together for what... |
| [14:56.44] |
-...Iike 1 0 minutes,and -ls that all? -… |
| [15:00.58] |
It's like we were never apart. |
| [15:06.58] |
Well,forget. |
| [15:19.80] |
-Hi. -Hi,l' m Sandy. -Hi -Hi, |
| [15:21.43] |
Sandy,hi. Come on in. |
| [15:33.78] |
-You brought your kids. -Yeah. That's okay,right? - |
| [15:40.08] |
-Party! -That thing is not coming in here! - |
| [15:44.59] |
This is how you greet guests? |
| [15:47.32] |
If I showed up with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome? |
| [15:52.53] |
Your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table. |
| [15:56.80] |
He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. |
| [16:02.01] |
And for him to have the courage to walk back in here... |
| [16:06.51] |
...Iike nothing happened |
| [16:09.08] |
All right. All right. Just keep him away from me. |
| [16:12.55] |
Thank you. Come on,Marcel. |
| [16:15.29] |
What do you say you and I mingle? |
| [16:18.89] |
All right,I'll catch up with you later. |
| [16:28.60] |
Oh,my gosh! Rachel,honey,are you okay? |
| [16:33.67] |
-Where's Paolo? -Rome. Jerk missed his flight. - |
| [16:39.08] |
And then your face exploded? |
| [16:42.78] |
No. |
| [16:44.65] |
Okay. I was at the airport getting into a cab... |
| [16:48.69] |
...when this woman,this blond planet with a pocketbook... |
| [16:53.82] |
...starts yelling. Something about how it was her cab first. |
| [16:58.30] |
The next thing,she just starts pulling me out by my hair! |
| [17:02.60] |
And I was blowing my attack whistle thingy... |
| [17:05.70] |
...and three more cabs show up. |
| [17:08.47] |
So as I'm going to get into a cab, she tackles me! |
| [17:13.54] |
And I hit my head on the curb and cut my lip on my whistle. |
| [17:22.49] |
Everybody having fun at the party? |
| [17:26.89] |
-Are people eating my dip? -Yes. - |
| [17:34.77] |
There. |
| [17:36.90] |
-That looks okay,right? -You went a bit wide on the lipstick. - |
| [17:41.21] |
-Oh,I did? -Yeah. |
| [17:43.87] |
It's hard for me to tell. My eye's closing up. |
| [17:47.78] |
Let me get it for you. |
| [17:52.45] |
You know what? It looks fine. |
| [17:55.32] |
Okay,here we go. |
| [17:58.02] |
Screw Paolo, screw the psycho cab lady. |
| [18:02.26] |
It's New Year's Eve. Let's have a good time. |
| [18:05.40] |
-Okay,here we go. -Okay. |
| [18:07.26] |
All right,there you go. This way. |
| [18:11.44] |
Here you go. |
| [18:16.41] |
When I saw you at the store last week... |
| [18:19.61] |
...it was the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf. |
| [18:26.28] |
-Wow,that's dirty. -Yeah. - |
| [18:32.40] |
Hey,kids. |
| [18:37.26] |
He doesn't have to spend the whole evening with me... |
| [18:44.13] |
There you are! |
| [18:47.64] |
You got away from me. |
| [18:50.54] |
-But you found me. -Here,Ross,take our picture. - |
| [18:54.81] |
Smile. You' re on Janice Camera. |
| [19:05.76] |
Hi,l' m Rachel. hi, |
| [19:08.69] |
So whose friend are you? |
| [19:14.60] |
Look at me,spilling everywhere. |
| [19:19.94] |
Everybody,it's Fun Bobby! |
| [19:25.08] |
Hey,sorry I'm late. But my grandfather... |
| [19:28.71] |
...died about two hours ago. |
| [19:30.75] |
But I couldn't get a flight out till tomorrow,so here I am. |
| [19:36.89] |
Hey,Fun Bobby! How's it going,man? Whoa! Who died? |
| [19:46.63] |
It's gonna be an open casket, you know? |
| [19:50.70] |
So at least I'll get to see him again. |
| [19:57.71] |
Bobby? Fun Bobby? |
| [20:04.78] |
I recently lost a grandparent myself... |
| [20:07.52] |
...so I really know exactly how you feel. |
| [20:10.75] |
But you' re really bringing the party down. |
| [20:18.60] |
There you go. There you go. |
| [20:21.87] |
I' m gonna blow this one up and write " Reunited " in glitter. |
| [20:29.11] |
Janice. Janice. |
| [20:31.91] |
Hey,Janice,when I invited you, I didn't think it meant |
| [20:36.91] |
Oh,no! |
| [20:43.22] |
I' m sorry you misunderstood. |
| [20:46.00] |
You listen to me! You listen to me! |
| [20:48.46] |
One of these times,it's just gonna be your last chance with me! |
| [20:55.17] |
Will you give me the thing? |
| [21:00.80] |
-Hi,Max. -Yoko. - |
| [21:08.31] |
I've decided to go to Minsk without you. |
| [21:12.62] |
-Wow. -lt won't be the same... - |
| [21:16.25] |
... but it will still be Minsk. Happy New Year. … |
| [21:21.53] |
-Are you all right? -Yeah,l' m fine. I' m fine. - |
| [21:30.63] |
Come on. |
| [21:34.20] |
-You' re going to Minsk. -No,l' m not going to Minsk. - |
| [21:38.68] |
You are so going to Minsk. |
| [21:40.61] |
You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just for me. |
| [21:44.72] |
If I go,I have to break up with you. |
| [21:47.62] |
-And I can't break up with you. -Yes,you can. - |
| [21:50.82] |
Just say," Phoebe,I love you, but my work is my life. |
| [21:55.46] |
That's what I have to do. " “ |
| [21:57.36] |
And I say,"Your work? How can you say that? " |
| [22:02.37] |
Then you say," I have no choice. Can't you understand that? " |
| [22:07.77] |
And I say," No! No! I can't understand that! " |
| [22:12.04] |
-Ow. -Sorry. |
| [22:15.31] |
And then you put your arms around me. |
| [22:18.45] |
-Then you put your arms around me. -Oh,sorry. - |
| [22:22.62] |
And then you tell me you love me and you'll never forget me. |
| [22:27.39] |
I'll never forget you. |
| [22:31.09] |
Then you say that you have to go... |
| [22:45.14] |
I' m gonna miss you, you scientist guy. |
| [22:51.18] |
Hi,Dick Clark in Times Square. |
| [22:53.38] |
We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square. |
| [22:58.49] |
It gets better every.... |
| [23:00.46] |
Here you go,kids. |
| [23:02.76] |
And then the peacock bit me. |
| [23:06.40] |
Please kiss me at midnight! |
| [23:13.44] |
-You seen Sandy? -I don't know how to tell you this... - |
| [23:17.14] |
... but she's in the bedroom getting it on with Max. |
| [23:21.58] |
Oh,I did know how to tell you. |
| [23:25.05] |
-Hey,everybody,the ball is dropping. -What? |
| [23:29.65] |
The ball is dropping! |
| [23:34.06] |
In 20 seconds,it'll be midnight. |
| [23:36.86] |
And the moment of joy is upon us. |
| [23:40.16] |
Looks like that no-date pact worked out. |
| [23:43.53] |
Everybody looks so happy. I hate that! |
| [23:46.20] |
Not everybody is happy. Hey,Bobby! |
| [23:48.74] |
four,three,two... |
| [23:51.61] |
...one! Happy New Year! …1! |
| [23:56.45] |
I thought I'd throw this out. I' m no math whiz... |
| [24:06.26] |
I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight. |
| [24:09.29] |
-I can't kiss anyone. -So,I'm kissing everyone? - |
| [24:13.83] |
No,you can't kiss Ross. That's your brother. |
| [24:17.27] |
So now everybody's getting kissed but me. |
| [24:20.07] |
Somebody kiss me. |
| [24:21.51] |
Somebody kiss me! It's midnight! Somebody kiss me! |
| [24:25.54] |
All right! All right! |
| [24:28.04] |
There! |
| [24:35.89] |
I wanted this to work so much. |
| [24:39.12] |
I'm still in there. |
| [24:41.09] |
Changing his diapers. Picking his fleas. |
| [24:44.73] |
But he's just phoning it in. |
| [24:48.90] |
It's hard that something you love so much doesn't love you back. |
| [24:54.30] |
I think that bitch cracked my tooth. |
