| [00:08.-4] |
This is so exciting! |
| [01:02.-2] |
A thing through which you can tinkle A thing through which you can tinkle |
| [01:23.-3] |
The One With the Butt |
| [02:33.-3] |
Is it? It feels like 2. |
| [03:19.-1] |
-You could do that. -You think? - |
| [03:54.-1] |
Yes,you said that. |
| [05:09.-4] |
"Loved your work. Call me a sap. " " |
| [06:09.-4] |
Joey... Joey... |
| [07:17.-4] |
Hey,kids! |
| [08:11.-2] |
We talked until 2:00. It was perfect. |
| [10:02.-1] |
-I couldn't. -Good for you. - |
| [10:07.-4] |
... I' m going out with more people than her. ... |
| [11:13.-1] |
Nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask. |
| [17:57.-4] |
Once again,rolling. Water working. |
| [19:57.-2] |
... but it's like l' m two guys. One guy's saying,"This is great! " ... |
| [20:02.-1] |
But there's this other guy. |
| [21:33.-2] |
No? What happened,big guy? |
| [24:18.-2] |
Or play with or simply let hang |
| [00:05.45] |
Oh,look! There's Joey's picture! |
| [00:09.49] |
You can spot someone who's never seen his plays. |
| [00:12.72] |
Notice,no fear. No sense of impending doom. |
| [00:17.00] |
"The role of man number three will not be played by Vic Shapiro. " " |
| [00:22.30] |
We came on the wrong night. |
| [00:26.07] |
I can't believe I forgot a magazine. |
| [00:28.64] |
-Come on,this might be good. -I don't know. - |
| [00:31.84] |
The exclamation point scares me. It's not just Freud,it's Freud! |
| [00:37.85] |
Magic is about to happen! |
| [00:40.79] |
Well,Eva... |
| [00:43.09] |
...we've done some excellent work here. |
| [00:47.46] |
And I would have to say... |
| [00:49.73] |
...your problem is quite clear. …… |
| [00:55.30] |
All you want is a dinkle All you want is a dinkle |
| [00:58.90] |
What you envy's a schwang What you envy's a schwang |
| [01:05.58] |
To play with or simply let hang To play with or simply let hang |
| [02:22.85] |
I feel violated. |
| [02:25.52] |
Did anybody else feel like peeling their skin off... |
| [02:29.06] |
...to have something else to do? |
| [02:31.73] |
Ross,1 0:00. |
| [02:36.03] |
-No,1 0:00! -What? |
| [02:39.80] |
There's a beautiful woman at 8,9,1 0:00! |
| [02:45.84] |
Hello! |
| [02:47.31] |
She's amazing! She makes the women l dream about look like fat,bald men. |
| [02:53.12] |
Go over. She's not with anyone. |
| [02:55.22] |
And what would my opening line be? Excuse me.... |
| [03:01.26] |
Come on,she's a person. You can do it. |
| [03:03.86] |
Could she be more out of my league? Back me up. |
| [03:07.07] |
He couldn't get a woman like that in a million years. |
| [03:12.04] |
You always see these beautiful women with "nothing" guys. |
| [03:16.07] |
You could be one of those guys. |
| [03:21.18] |
Absolutely! |
| [03:22.68] |
I can't believe I'm considering this. |
| [03:25.22] |
-l' m very aware of my tongue. -Come on. - |
| [03:28.02] |
Here goes. |
| [03:30.00] |
Stand back,everyone. Incoming ego shrapnel. |
| [03:33.36] |
All right,I can do this. |
| [03:39.50] |
-Yes? -Hi. |
| [03:43.27] |
Okay,next word would be... |
| [03:45.54] |
... Chandler. … |
| [03:47.74] |
Chandler is my name and.... |
| [03:50.91] |
Hi! Hi! |
| [03:55.65] |
Yes! Yes,I did. But what I didn't say.... |
| [03:58.88] |
What I wanted to say was... |
| [04:01.12] |
...would you like to go out with me? Thank you. Good night. …… |
| [04:05.06] |
Chandler? |
| [04:09.83] |
-I didn't know you could dance! -You were in a play! - |
| [04:13.30] |
What'd you think? |
| [04:15.57] |
-I didn't know you could dance! -You were in a play! - |
| [04:19.07] |
It wasn't that bad. I was the lead. |
| [04:21.84] |
It was better than the troll thing. At least you got to see my head. |
| [04:26.31] |
-You're right. -We saw your head. - |
| [04:29.01] |
How about that accent? |
| [04:31.15] |
Yeah. All of your W's were V's. |
| [04:37.46] |
She said yes! |
| [04:40.29] |
Awful play,man! |
| [04:44.36] |
Her name's Aurora. She's ltalian and she pronounces my name " Chandler. " |
| [04:50.80] |
I like that better. |
| [04:52.34] |
The usher gave me this. |
| [04:54.37] |
-What is it? -The Estelle Leonard T alent Agency. |
| [04:57.68] |
An agency left its card. They wanna sign me! |
| [05:00.61] |
Based on this play? |
| [05:04.28] |
Based on this play! |
| [05:06.58] |
Look! There's a note on the back. |
| [05:14.43] |
She was obviously very moved! |
| [05:17.10] |
You should call her fairly quickly. |
| [05:19.80] |
Yeah! As soon as possible! |
| [05:25.54] |
Come in! |
| [05:28.31] |
Hi. I'm here to see Estelle Leonard. Hi. |
| [05:30.91] |
Just a moment,let me see if she's in. |
| [05:35.35] |
Hello. |
| [05:38.75] |
-You' re Estelle? -I know... - |
| [05:40.82] |
...you weren't expecting someone so fantastically beautiful. …… |
| [05:47.59] |
Love lump. T ake a load off already, darling. Sit already. |
| [05:53.00] |
I can't tell you how excited I am to be here. |
| [05:56.43] |
Why not? |
| [05:59.44] |
-What I meant was -You don't mind if I eat,do you? - |
| [06:10.15] |
...sweetheart,let me ask you a question. …… |
| [06:13.55] |
Did you ever see the movie Sleepless in Seattle? |
| [06:17.42] |
-Wow! Do you represent those actors? -No. |
| [06:21.19] |
But you know the end, where they' re happy? |
| [06:24.83] |
That's gonna be you and me. |
| [06:28.40] |
You mean you wanna sign me? |
| [06:30.50] |
No,I wanna go to the top of the Empire State Building and make out. |
| [06:36.71] |
Of course I wanna sign you! |
| [06:39.54] |
-Miss Leonard,I'm so -Oh,boy. |
| [06:42.18] |
-Ride them,cowboy. -l' m sorry! |
| [06:55.13] |
I don't see it! |
| [06:59.83] |
-T ry to look through it. -Unfocus your eyes. - |
| [07:03.20] |
Focus? There's nothing to focus on. |
| [07:06.44] |
-It's the Statue of Liberty! -Right! - |
| [07:10.11] |
-Where's the Statue of Liberty? -There. |
| [07:13.18] |
I can't not see it now. |
| [07:18.18] |
Come here. Do you see anything here? |
| [07:20.75] |
-lt looks like a boat. -A boat. - |
| [07:24.36] |
Right in front of the Statue of Liberty. |
| [07:29.09] |
It's been seven seconds,and you haven't asked me how my date went. |
| [07:33.83] |
How was your date,Chandler? |
| [07:36.30] |
It was unbelievable! |
| [07:37.80] |
I've never met anyone like her. She's had an amazing life! |
| [07:41.64] |
She was in the Israeli army. |
| [07:43.67] |
None of the bullets hit the engine, so we made it to the border. |
| [07:48.41] |
But just barely,and l.... |
| [07:51.18] |
I've been talking about myself all night long. I'm sorry. |
| [07:55.45] |
What about you? T ell me a story. |
| [07:58.42] |
All right,once... |
| [08:00.83] |
... I got on the subway. |
| [08:02.83] |
And it was at night... |
| [08:04.83] |
...and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn. ... |
| [08:08.17] |
Just for the hell of it. |
| [08:14.64] |
More or less. |
| [08:15.94] |
Suddenly,we realized we were in Yemen. |
| [08:18.74] |
I' m sorry,so "we" is...? |
| [08:21.11] |
"We" is me and Rick. |
| [08:22.65] |
Who's Rick? |
| [08:23.85] |
Who's Rick? |
| [08:26.35] |
My husband. |
| [08:30.09] |
-Oh,so you' re divorced? -No. - |
| [08:33.42] |
I' m sorry. So you' re widowed? Hopefully? |
| [08:37.76] |
No,l' m still married. |
| [08:40.90] |
So,how would your husband feel about you sitting here with me... |
| [08:45.74] |
...sliding your foot so far up my leg you can count the change in my pocket? ... |
| [08:52.18] |
Don't worry. |
| [08:53.78] |
He'd be okay with you because he's okay with Ethan. |
| [08:58.35] |
Ethan? There's an Ethan? |
| [09:01.89] |
Ethan is my boyfriend. |
| [09:05.52] |
What? 什么? |
| [09:08.76] |
What kind of relationship do you imagine us having... |
| [09:12.33] |
...if you have a husband and a boyfriend? |
| [09:15.50] |
I suppose,mainly sexual. |
| [09:21.57] |
Sorry it didn't work out. |
| [09:23.44] |
What,not work out? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. |
| [09:26.91] |
Didn't you listen to the story? |
| [09:30.82] |
Didn't you listen? It's twisted! |
| [09:33.45] |
How could you get involved with her? |
| [09:35.89] |
I had trouble with it at first. But I get the good stuff. |
| [09:40.00] |
All the fun,all the talking, all the sex... |
| [09:43.16] |
...and none of the responsibility. |
| [09:46.43] |
-This is every guy's fantasy! -That's not true! - |
| [09:49.80] |
-Ross,is this your fantasy? -No,of course not. - |
| [09:55.27] |
Yeah. Yeah,it is. |
| [09:57.94] |
You'd go out with someone going out with someone else? |
| [10:04.25] |
When l' m with a woman, I need to know... |
| [10:10.39] |
Once,I went out with a guy who just got divorced. |
| [10:14.03] |
It was hard. His kids liked me better than him. |
| [10:17.60] |
What does this have to do with Chandler? |
| [10:21.13] |
Nothing. |
| [10:23.27] |
I didn't have anything on that topic. |
| [10:26.14] |
So I went another way. |
| [10:29.24] |
You know,monogamy can be a tricky concept. |
| [10:33.38] |
I mean,anthropologically speaking |
| [10:37.68] |
Fine. Now you'll never know. |
| [10:40.02] |
We' re kidding. T ell us. |
| [10:41.89] |
-We wanna know. -Come on! - |
| [10:43.65] |
All right. There's a theory put forth by Richard Leakey |
| [10:58.60] |
Are we greeting each other this way now? I like it. |
| [11:03.44] |
Look! I cleaned! |
| [11:05.31] |
I did the windows. I did the floors. |
| [11:07.81] |
I used all the vacuum attachments but the round one. What's it for? |
| [11:16.39] |
What do you think? |
| [11:17.76] |
-It's very clean. -Really,it looks great! - |
| [11:25.06] |
I see you moved the green ottoman. |
| [11:31.47] |
How did that happen? |
| [11:34.44] |
I don't know. It looked better there. |
| [11:37.81] |
And it's an extra seat around the table. |
| [11:41.11] |
Yeah,it's interesting. |
| [11:44.55] |
But you know what? Just for fun... |
| [11:47.15] |
...Iet's see what it looked like in the old spot. ... |
| [11:51.46] |
Just to compare. |
| [11:53.32] |
Let's see. |
| [11:55.06] |
Well,it looks good there too. |
| [11:57.36] |
Let's leave it there for a while. |
| [12:00.50] |
I can't believe you moved the green ottoman. |
| [12:04.47] |
Be glad you didn't fan the magazines. She'll scratch your eyes out. |
| [12:09.11] |
-You guys,I am not that bad! -Yeah,you are. - |
| [12:13.74] |
Remember,I lived with you? You were a little.... |
| [12:21.42] |
That is so unfair! |
| [12:22.92] |
When we were kids,yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy. |
| [12:29.43] |
Okay,so I'm responsible. I'm organized. |
| [12:32.30] |
But hey,I can be a kook! |
| [12:36.53] |
All right,you madcap gal! |
| [12:40.37] |
Imagine this. |
| [12:41.74] |
The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away. |
| [12:45.88] |
-Why not? -Because you're a kook! - |
| [12:50.51] |
You wait until they send a notice. |
| [12:54.05] |
I could do that. |
| [12:55.62] |
Okay,then you let me go grocery shopping |
| [12:59.86] |
-No problem. -I'm not done yet. - |
| [13:03.66] |
And I buy detergent,but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout. |
| [13:08.77] |
Why would someone do that? |
| [13:12.54] |
One might wonder. |
| [13:15.81] |
But I would be fine with that. |
| [13:19.28] |
A glass is on the table with no coaster. A cold drink. A hot day. |
| [13:24.65] |
Beads of condensation are inching closer to the wood.... |
| [13:29.19] |
Stop it! |
| [13:34.02] |
Oh,my God! |
| [13:35.73] |
It's true. Who am l? |
| [13:38.20] |
Monica,you' re Mom. |
| [13:48.57] |
Oh,my God! |
| [13:52.31] |
Okay,I'll be there. |
| [13:56.38] |
That was my agent. |
| [13:59.92] |
My agent has just gotten me a job in the new Al Pacino movie! |
| [14:06.09] |
-That's great! -What's the part? |
| [14:09.06] |
Can you believe it? Pacino! This guy's why I became an actor! |
| [14:13.40] |
" Out of order? You' re out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order! " " |
| [14:19.77] |
Seriously,what's the part? |
| [14:21.74] |
"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in! " |
| [14:25.71] |
Come on. Seriously,Joey, what's the part? |
| [14:30.71] |
You' re.... What? |
| [14:34.89] |
I' m his butt double,okay? |
| [14:41.69] |
I play Al Pacino's butt. |
| [14:46.50] |
All right? He goes into the shower, and then... |
| [14:50.03] |
... I' m his butt. ... |
| [14:52.40] |
Oh,my God! |
| [14:53.87] |
Come on,you guys. |
| [14:55.31] |
It's a real Pacino movie and that's big! |
| [14:58.84] |
It's terrific. You deserve this. |
| [15:01.65] |
After years of struggling you've cracked your way into show business. |
| [15:09.25] |
Fine. Make jokes,I don't care. |
| [15:11.79] |
-This is a big break for me! -You' re right. It is. - |
| [15:16.43] |
So,will you invite us to the big opening? |
| [15:29.27] |
-I need some moisturizer. -For what? - |
| [15:32.41] |
T oday's the big day! |
| [15:37.11] |
You got any tweezers? I think I have a rogue hair. |
| [15:41.00] |
God. Go in the bathroom. Use whatever you want. |
| [15:44.12] |
Don't ever tell me what you did in there. |
| [15:47.16] |
Thank you. |
| [15:50.63] |
-Joey's mom's on the phone. -ln the bathroom. - |
| [15:53.63] |
-You don't wanna go in there! -Come on,we' re roommates. - |
| [15:58.50] |
My eyes! My eyes! |
| [16:03.57] |
I warned you. |
| [16:05.41] |
Who is being loud? |
| [16:07.31] |
Oh,that would be Monica. |
| [16:09.85] |
Can I borrow stuff? I wanna make Aurora breakfast. |
| [16:13.18] |
You got the whole night? |
| [16:15.19] |
Well,I only have 20 minutes until Ethan,so.... |
| [16:18.39] |
Do I sense resentment? |
| [16:20.56] |
No. No resentment. Believe me... |
| [16:23.89] |
...it's worth it,okay? …… |
| [16:26.23] |
In a relationship,you have moments you'll remember the rest of your life. |
| [16:31.27] |
Every single second is like that with Aurora. |
| [16:34.71] |
I've just wasted 35 of them talking to you. |
| [16:37.57] |
So,Monica,can you help me with the door? |
| [16:42.01] |
The old Monica would remind you... |
| [16:44.82] |
...to scrub that T eflon pan with a plastic brush. …… |
| [16:49.82] |
But l' m not gonna do that. |
| [16:58.43] |
Excuse me? Can they warm it up? I' m concerned about goose bumps. |
| [17:03.50] |
Everybody ready? |
| [17:06.14] |
I wanna thank you for this opportunity. |
| [17:09.27] |
I mean,I know this is just a first step,but I hope that someday |
| [17:14.71] |
Lose the robe. |
| [17:16.15] |
Right. Okay. Losing the robe! |
| [17:20.55] |
Okay,and the robe is lost. |
| [17:23.29] |
I would like to get this in one take. |
| [17:26.29] |
Let's roll it. |
| [17:27.83] |
Water's working. |
| [17:30.09] |
And action! |
| [17:33.90] |
And cut! |
| [17:36.13] |
Butt guy,what are you doing? |
| [17:39.07] |
I'm showering. |
| [17:40.80] |
No,that was clenching. |
| [17:43.14] |
The way I see it, the guy's upset here,you know? |
| [17:47.04] |
His wife's dead, his brother's missing. |
| [17:49.65] |
I think his butt would be angry here. |
| [17:53.08] |
I think his butt would like to get the shot before lunch. |
| [18:00.82] |
And action! |
| [18:04.09] |
And cut! What was that? |
| [18:07.83] |
I was going for quiet desperation. |
| [18:11.74] |
But if you have to ask.... |
| [18:21.11] |
God,I love these fingers. |
| [18:23.21] |
Thank you. |
| [18:24.62] |
No,actually,I meant my fingers. |
| [18:28.29] |
Look at them. Look at how happy they are. |
| [18:32.66] |
-Oh,my God,l' m late! -Oh,no! |
| [18:35.93] |
-Don't go. -Okay. - |
| [18:39.80] |
-I have to. -Look,she's leaving. - |
| [18:42.57] |
I' m sorry. He'll be waiting for me. |
| [18:45.27] |
-I thought you talked to Rick. -It's not Rick. - |
| [18:49.24] |
Ethan? He gets the whole day! |
| [18:51.81] |
No,it's Andrew. |
| [18:58.85] |
I know there'll be moments.. |
| [19:00.92] |
...when I'll regret asking the following question,but.... …… |
| [19:05.26] |
-And Andrew is? -He's... |
| [19:08.06] |
... new. …… |
| [19:10.26] |
So you' re not completely fulfilled by Rick,Ethan and myself? |
| [19:14.93] |
No,that's not exactly what I was |
| [19:17.60] |
Most women would kill... |
| [19:19.54] |
...for three guys like us. …… |
| [19:23.04] |
-So,what do you want? -You. |
| [19:26.44] |
-You have me. -No. Just you. - |
| [19:29.65] |
-What do you mean? -Lose the other guys. - |
| [19:33.65] |
Like,all of them? |
| [19:37.25] |
Come on,we' re great together. Why not? |
| [19:40.39] |
Can't we have what we have now? |
| [19:42.66] |
Why can't we talk and make love... |
| [19:45.30] |
...without feeling obligated to each other? …… |
| [19:48.47] |
Up until tonight,I thought that's what you wanted too. |
| [19:53.07] |
Well,part of me wants that... |
| [20:04.05] |
The guy who wells up when the Grinch's heart grows... |
| [20:07.65] |
...and breaks that measuring device. …… |
| [20:10.45] |
He's saying,you know, "This is too hard. Get out! " |
| [20:15.56] |
So,which one of the guys will you listen to? |
| [20:19.46] |
I have to listen to both. They don't let each other finish. |
| [20:24.94] |
Which one? |
| [20:29.84] |
The second guy. |
| [20:32.54] |
I see. |
| [20:38.45] |
Call me if you change your mind. |
| [20:49.36] |
Sorry,the first guy runs the lips. |
| [21:05.68] |
Look at it this way. You dumped her! |
| [21:09.75] |
Right? I mean,this woman was unbelievably sexy... |
| [21:14.28] |
...and beautiful,intelligent, unattainable. …… |
| [21:19.56] |
T ell me why you did this again? |
| [21:24.26] |
Movie star! |
| [21:25.90] |
Wait! Aren't you the guy who plays the butt in the new Pacino movie? |
| [21:31.60] |
Nope. |
| [21:35.87] |
Big guy? |
| [21:39.18] |
It felt like a "big guy" moment. |
| [21:42.68] |
I got fired! |
| [21:44.88] |
They said I acted too much with it. |
| [21:49.35] |
I told everybody about this! |
| [21:51.69] |
-Everybody's expecting to see me. -lKnow what? - |
| [21:54.69] |
-No one will be able to tell. -My mom will. - |
| [22:00.33] |
There's something so sweet and disturbing about that. |
| [22:05.67] |
I've done crappy plays for six years... |
| [22:08.84] |
...and I finally get my shot, and I blow it! |
| [22:12.48] |
Maybe this wasn't it. |
| [22:14.44] |
I think when it's your shot, you know it's your shot. |
| [22:19.52] |
Did it feel like your shot? |
| [22:23.35] |
Hard to tell. I was naked. |
| [22:26.29] |
I don't think this was it. I don't think you just get one. |
| [22:30.56] |
I believe things are gonna happen for you. I do. |
| [22:34.16] |
You've got to think about the day some kid will go: |
| [22:38.27] |
"l got the part! I'm gonna be Joey T ribbiani's ass! " |
| [22:45.28] |
You think? That's so nice. |
| [22:53.92] |
I' m sorry,Joey. I' m gonna go to bed,guys. |
| [22:57.09] |
-Good night. -Good night. |
| [22:59.56] |
You' re gonna leave your shoes out here? |
| [23:05.90] |
Really? Just casually strewn about... |
| [23:09.00] |
...in that reckless,haphazard manner? ... |
| [23:13.20] |
It doesn't matter. I'll get them tomorrow. Or not! |
| [23:18.68] |
Whenever. |
| [23:22.85] |
She is a kook. |
| [23:37.89] |
If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. |
| [23:43.47] |
No,don 't do this! |
| [23:46.27] |
This is stupid! |
| [23:47.94] |
I don 't have to prove anything. I'm gonna get them. |
| [23:51.88] |
But then everyone will know. |
| [23:55.18] |
Unless I get them,then wake up really early and put them back. |
| [23:59.82] |
I need help! |
| [24:05.56] |
-All you want is a dinkle -Not that song! |
| [24:09.83] |
-All you envy's a schwang -Come on,you guys. |
| [24:14.03] |
A thing through which you can tinkle |
| [24:22.01] |
All you want is a dinkle |
| [24:26.01] |
What you envy's a schwang |
| [24:29.55] |
A thing through which you can tinkle |
| [24:33.28] |
Or play with or simply let hang |
