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A song upon the subject |
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Of having night death |
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He doesn't have a problem with drugs |
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He just doesn't do them |
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He's fine that his mates have tattoos |
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But he reckons they'll rue them |
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He likes going to pubs |
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But he hates it when the music's too loud |
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He tends not to go to rock concerts |
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Cos he can't stand the crowds |
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But all he's ever wanted to be |
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Is a rock star on Rage or MTV |
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But he knows that it's not very likely |
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He's just turned thirty |
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He knows that he will always be |
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A rock 'n' roll nerd |
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He'll keep writing songs the world will never hear |
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And though they won't be heard |
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He'll just keep writing |
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But you see the problem is |
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He always dreamt of being a star |
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But he learnt piano instead of guitar |
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Which in the nineties, didn't get you very far |
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So while the other kids were learning Stairway |
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He was the piano to their forte |
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But he was convinced one day he'd rock their ****ing asses |
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And be an icon for the disenfranchised masses |
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And grow his hair long and rebel against the state |
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But just for now that he’d have to wait |
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Cos he's running late for his morning classes |
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And he will always be |
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A rock 'n' roll nerd |
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He'll keep playing gigs that no one knows about |
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And though it sounds absurd |
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He'll just keep playing |
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But you see the problem is |
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There's not much depth in what he's singing |
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He's a victim of his upper-middle class upbringing |
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So he can't write about the 'hood |
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Or bling bling |
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So he sits and imagines his girlfriend is dead |
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To try and invoke some angst in his middle class head |
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But she's always fine |
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At half past nine |
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When they go to bed |
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And he's not spent a single night in prison |
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He has no issues with nutrition |
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He has no drinking problem and no drug addiction |
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Unless you count the drugs they put in chicken |
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And ********* always tends to make him cough |
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He doesn't look good with his t-shirt off |
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And when he tries to act tough |
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You can tell he's trickin' |
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While his mates all go out late |
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Poppin' pills and having fun |
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He goes home and showers |
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Gets a good eight hours |
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He gets his thrills from his morning run |
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And while his mates all go on dates |
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Taking speed and drinking cans of Jim Beam |
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He stays home and cooks |
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Curls up with a book |
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With a girl he's had since he was seventeen |
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Cos he's never been part of the scene |
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While the other kids liked Guns, he liked Queen |
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He's more into Beatles than the Stones |
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He's more Stevie Wonder than Ramones |
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And he's never owned a panel van |
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He's never shot a Sepultura fan |
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He doesn't know the difference between metal and thrash |
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He couldn't tell you nothing about Axl and Slash |
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He likes Ben Folds and the Jackson Five |
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He knows all the words to “Staying Alive” |
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And though he wants to be all grungy and cool |
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He spent eleven years in a |
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Private school |
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So it don't matter how he tries |
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He cannot hide behind his rock 'n' roll lies |
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Because you've either got it or you don't |
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Yeah you'll either rock it or you won't |
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Yeah you've either got it or you don't |
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Yeah you'll either rock it or you won't |
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He knows that his music lacks depth |
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But it just can't be helped |
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He has nothing interesting to say |
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So he writes about himself |
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But he doesn't want to see self-obsessed |
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So he writes in third person |
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In an attempt to seem more rock 'n' roll but he knows it's not working |
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Deep in his heart he knows |
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He will never be Jet or Eskimo Joe |
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And even if he was quite pretty |
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And wrote songs like missy |
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He knows that he will always be |
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A rock 'n' roll nerd |
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He'll keep writing songs the world don't care about |
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And though they sound absurd |
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He'll just keep writing |
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You can criticize him |
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But he won't care |
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Cos he wants to rock |
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And he will never be deterred |
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But he'll always be a ******-up, little, try-hard, wannabe rock 'n' roll nerd |
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(Stairway to Heaven Intro) |
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Rock 'n' roll nerd |
