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Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen) |
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Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99 |
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Wear sunscreen |
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If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it |
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The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists |
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Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or reliable |
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Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now |
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Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind |
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You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth |
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Until they've faded but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back |
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At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now |
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How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked |
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You are not as fat as you imagine |
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Don't worry about the future |
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Or know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum |
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The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind |
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The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday |
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Do one thing every day that scares you |
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Don't be reckless with other people's hearts |
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Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours |
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Floss |
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Don't waste your time on jealousy |
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Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind |
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The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself |
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Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults, if you succeed in doing this, tell me how |
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Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements |
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Stretch |
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Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. |
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The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives |
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Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't |
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Get plenty of calcium |
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Be kind to your knees |
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You'll miss them when they're gone |
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Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't |
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Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't |
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Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken' |
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On your 75th wedding anniversary |
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Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much |
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Or berate yourself either |
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Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's |
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Enjoy your body, use it every way you can |
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Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it |
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It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own |
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Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room |
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Read the directions even if you don't follow them |
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Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly |
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Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good |
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Be nice to your siblings, they're your best link to your past |
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And the people most likely to stick with you in the future |
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Understand that friends come and go |
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But a precious few, who should hold on |
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Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle |
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For as the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young |
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Live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard |
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Live in northern California once but leave before it makes you soft |
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Travel |
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Accept certain inalienable truths |
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Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you, too, will get old |
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And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young |
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Prices were reasonable, politicians were noble |
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And children respected their elders |
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Respect your elders |
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Don't expect anyone else to support you |
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Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse |
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But you never know when either one might run out |
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Don't mess too much with your hair |
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Or by the time you're 40 it will look 85 |
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Be careful whose advice you buy but be patient with those who supply it |
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Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past |
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From the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts |
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And recycling it for more than it's worth |
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But trust me on the sunscreen |
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