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作词 : Mary Lambert |
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作曲 : Mary Lambert |
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My mother found a rabid dog |
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And wanted to hug it |
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Wanted to give it all her glorious honey love |
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Wanted to bathe her children in a two-parent household |
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But, the dog didn't want kids |
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The dog would scream it in the hallway at four A.M |
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Reminding us as often as possible |
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The sheer art of it |
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How the monster could panic into my body |
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Sometimes I still hear it in the chambers of my heart |
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The way some glorious paintings stay with you |
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I am a museum |
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I must be a museum |
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When I was seven, the dog told me I was going to be a slut |
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No one came over to our house to play |
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The dog made me write, "I will flush the bathroom toilet seventy-five times" |
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I would've remembered to flush the toilet |
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But, I started blacking out around then |
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Forgetting basic things |
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Started praying that Oprah would save us all |
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I took snapshots with my memory camera |
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Hoping there would be justice for this kind of psycho warfare |
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The teachers at the daycare offered apology eyes and extra sequins |
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For the art project |
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The day after, the dog chased me around each room |
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Because I forgot where my other shoe was |
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When you are a child |
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And your mind is panicked like a fire alarm at all times |
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You lose the ability to remember simple things |
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I haven't lost a personal item in months |
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Do not laugh when I say, 'This is a victory' |
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Shame is an ocean I swim across |
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Sometimes, I call it drowning |
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Sometimes, I call it Moses |
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Sometimes, I say, "Good morning!" and sway to its murky surge |
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Sometimes, I win and cut off its crest with a pink machete |
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Sometimes, I want to **** it and |
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Marry it and kill it all at the same time |
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Sometimes, I spend my whole day apologizing on shame's behalf |
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Sometimes, I think it must be an art form to feel this bad |
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Sometimes, I outrun all of its psycho history |
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Other times, I repeat the language from my childmouth |
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While beating my head against a wall |
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But all the time I am forgiven |
