| [00:02.060] |
Waldo Jeffers had reached his limit. |
| [00:04.560] |
It was now Mid-August |
| [00:06.230] |
Which meant he had been separated from Marsha for more than two months. |
| [00:10.360] |
Two months, and all he had to show was three dog-eared letters |
| [00:13.700] |
And two very expensive long-distance phone calls. |
| [00:16.940] |
True, when school had ended and she'd returned to Wisconsin, |
| [00:20.040] |
And he to Locust, Pennsylvania, |
| [00:22.340] |
She had sworn to maintain a certain fidelity. |
| [00:25.380] |
She would date occasionally, but merely as amusement. |
| [00:29.160] |
She would remain faithful |
| [00:31.620] |
|
| [00:34.400] |
He had trouble sleeping at night |
| [00:36.660] |
And when he did, he had horrible dreams. |
| [00:39.810] |
He lay awake at night, |
| [00:41.570] |
Tossing and turning underneath his pleated quilt protector, |
| [00:45.260] |
Tears welling in his eyes as he pictured Marsha, |
| [00:48.670] |
Her sworn vows overcome by liquor and the smooth soothing of some neanderthal, |
| [00:54.350] |
Finally submitting to the final caresses of sexual oblivion. |
| [00:59.040] |
It was more than the human mind could bear |
| [01:02.120] |
Visions of Marsha's faithlessness haunted him.Marsha |
| [01:05.240] |
Daytime fantasies of sexual abandon permeated his thoughts. |
| [01:09.280] |
And the thing was, they wouldn't understand how she really was. |
| [01:13.810] |
He, Waldo, alone understood this. |
| [01:16.640] |
He had intuitively grasped every nook and cranny of her psyche. |
| [01:20.590] |
He had made her smile. |
| [01:22.530] |
She needed him, and he wasn't there. (Awww...) |
| [01:25.930] |
The idea came to him on the Thursday |
| [01:27.630] |
Before the Mummers' Parade was scheduled to appear. |
| [01:30.520] |
He'd just finished mowing and edging the Edelsons lawn for a dollar fifty |
| [01:33.860] |
And had checked the mailbox to see if there was at least a word from Marsha. |
| [01:37.940] |
There was nothing but a circular |
| [01:39.500] |
From the Amalgamated Aluminum Company Of America |
| [01:41.440] |
Inquiring into his awing needs. |
| [01:44.030] |
At least they cared enough to write |
| [01:46.370] |
It was a New York company. |
| [01:48.560] |
You could go anywhere in the mails. |
| [01:51.010] |
Then it struck him. |
| [01:52.850] |
He didn't have enough money to go to Wisconsin in the accepted fashion, |
| [01:55.840] |
True, but why not mail himself? |
| [01:58.890] |
It was absurdly simple. |
| [02:00.660] |
He would ship himself parcel post, special delivery. |
| [02:04.160] |
The next day Waldo went to the supermarket |
| [02:06.330] |
To purchase the necessary equipment. |
| [02:08.730] |
He bought masking tape, a staple gun |
| [02:11.010] |
And a medium sized cardboard box just right for a person of his build. |
| [02:15.250] |
He judged that with a minimum of jostling he could ride quite comfortably. |
| [02:19.140] |
A few airholes, some water, perhaps some midnight snacks, |
| [02:22.770] |
And it would probably be as good as going tourist! |
| [02:26.170] |
By Friday afternoon, Waldo was set. |
| [02:28.770] |
He was thoroughly packed and the Post Office had agreed |
| [02:30.790] |
To pick him up at three o'clock. |
| [02:32.880] |
He'd marked the package "Fragile", |
| [02:34.560] |
And as he sat curled up inside, |
| [02:36.300] |
Resting on the foam rubber cushioning he'd thoughtfully included, |
| [02:39.450] |
He tried to picture the look of awe and happiness on Marshas face |
| [02:42.450] |
As she opened her door, saw the package, tipped the deliverer, |
| [02:46.080] |
And then opened it to see her Waldo finally there in person. |
| [02:50.070] |
She would kiss him, and then maybe they could see a movie. |
| [02:54.020] |
If he'd only thought of this before. |
| [02:56.670] |
Suddenly rough hands gripped his package and he felt himself borne up. |
| [03:01.160] |
He landed with a thud in a truck and was off |
| [03:04.640] |
Marsha Bronson had just finished setting her hair. |
| [03:07.630] |
It had been a very rough weekend. |
| [03:10.360] |
She had to remember not to drink like that. |
| [03:13.360] |
Bill had been nice about it though. |
| [03:15.350] |
After it was over he'd said he still respected her and, after all, |
| [03:18.740] |
It was certainly the way of nature, |
| [03:20.860] |
And even though, no, he didn't love her, |
| [03:23.250] |
He did feel an affection for her. |
| [03:26.050] |
And after all, they were grown adults. |
| [03:28.840] |
Oh, what Bill could teach Waldo! |
| [03:31.520] |
But that seemed many years ago |
| [03:34.460] |
Sheila Klein, her very, very best friend, |
| [03:37.360] |
Walked in through the porch screen door and into the kitchen. |
| [03:41.440] |
"Oh gawd, it's absolutely maudlin outside."“ |
| [03:44.520] |
"Ach, I know what you mean, I feel all icky!"“ |
| [03:48.760] |
Marsha tightened the belt on her cotton robe with the silk outer edge. |
| [03:52.410] |
Sheila ran her finger over some salt grains on the kitchen table, |
| [03:56.050] |
Licked her finger and made a face |
| [03:58.650] |
"I'm supposed to be taking these salt pills,but," “ |
| [04:00.630] |
She wrinkled her nose, "they make me feel like throwing up." |
| [04:04.920] |
Marsha started to pat herself under the chin, Marsha |
| [04:07.460] |
An exercise she'd seen on television |
| [04:10.100] |
"God, don't even talk about that."“ |
| [04:12.650] |
She got up from the table and went to the sink |
| [04:14.340] |
Where she picked up a bottle of pink and blue vitamins. |
| [04:17.240] |
"Want one? Supposed to be better than Stick," |
| [04:19.430] |
And then attempted to touch her knees. |
| [04:21.870] |
"I don't think I'll ever touch a daiquiri again."“ |
| [04:25.060] |
She gave up and sat down, |
| [04:26.650] |
This time nearer the small table that supported the telephone. |
| [04:30.190] |
"Maybe Bill'll call," she said to Sheila's glance. “ |
| [04:33.740] |
Sheila nibbled on a cuticle， |
| [04:36.080] |
"After last night, I thought maybe you'd be through with him."“ |
| [04:39.620] |
"I know what you mean. My God, he was like an octopus. “ |
| [04:42.350] |
Hands all over the place." |
| [04:44.460] |
She gestured, raising her arms upwards in defense. |
| [04:47.210] |
"The thing is, after a while, you get tired of fighting with him, you know, “ |
| [04:50.500] |
And after all I didn't really do anything Friday and Saturday |
| [04:53.540] |
So I kind of owed it to him. You know what I mean." |
| [04:56.300] |
She started to scratch. Sheila was giggling with her hand over her mouth |
| [05:01.010] |
"I'll tell you, I felt the same way, and even after a while," “ |
| [05:04.440] |
Here she bent forward in a whisper, |
| [05:06.290] |
"I wanted to!" Now she was laughing very loudly“ |
| [05:10.520] |
It was at this point that Mr. Jameson of the Clarence Darrow Post Office |
| [05:14.120] |
Rang the doorbell of the large stucco colored frame house. |
| [05:17.750] |
When Marsha Bronson opened the door, he helped her carry the package in. |
| [05:21.190] |
He had his yellow and his green slips of paper signed |
| [05:24.090] |
And left with a fifteen cent tip |
| [05:25.680] |
That Marsha had gotten out of her mother's small beige pocketbook in the den |
| [05:30.010] |
"What do you think it is?" Sheila asked.“ |
| [05:32.600] |
Marsha stood with her arms folded behind her back. |
| [05:35.390] |
She stared at the brown cardboard carton |
| [05:37.490] |
That sat in the middle of the living room |
| [05:39.430] |
"I dunno."“ |
| [05:41.270] |
Inside the package, Waldo quivered with excitement |
| [05:44.540] |
As he listened to the muffled voices. |
| [05:46.780] |
Sheila ran her fingernail over the masking tape that ran down the center of the carton. |
| [05:51.380] |
"Why don't you look at the return address and see who it's from?" “ |
| [05:55.110] |
Waldo felt his heart beating. |
| [05:57.160] |
He could feel the vibrating footsteps. |
| [05:59.070] |
It would be soon |
| [06:01.810] |
Marsha walked around the carton and read the ink-scratched label. |
| [06:05.450] |
"Ah, god it's from Waldo!"“ |
| [06:08.140] |
"That schmuck!" said Sheila. “ |
| [06:10.690] |
Waldo trembled with expectation. |
| [06:13.590] |
"Well, you might as well open it," said Sheila. “ |
| [06:16.080] |
Both of them tried to lift the staple flap |
| [06:19.280] |
"Ah sst," said Marsha, groaning, "he must have nailed it shut." |
| [06:23.850] |
They tugged on the flap again. |
| [06:26.100] |
"My God, you need a power drill to get this thing open!" “ |
| [06:29.840] |
They pulled again. "You can't get a grip." |
| [06:34.760] |
They both stood still, breathing heavily |
| [06:38.150] |
"Why don't you get a scissor," said Sheila. “ |
| [06:41.030] |
Marsha ran into the kitchen, |
| [06:42.820] |
But all she could find was a little sewing scissor. |
| [06:45.960] |
Then she remembered that her father |
| [06:47.410] |
kept a collection of tools in the basement. |
| [06:49.700] |
She ran downstairs, and when she came back up, |
| [06:52.100] |
She had a large sheet metal cutter in her hand. |
| [06:55.090] |
"This is the best I could find." She was very out of breath. “ |
| [06:58.330] |
"Here, you do it. I-I'm gonna die." |
| [07:01.320] |
She sank into a large fluffy couch and exhaled noisily. |
| [07:06.100] |
Sheila tried to make a slit between the masking tape |
| [07:08.790] |
And the end of the cardboard flap, |
| [07:10.630] |
But the blade was too big and there wasn't enough room |
| [07:13.820] |
"God damn this thing!" she said feeling very exasperated. “ |
| [07:17.710] |
Then smiling, "I got an idea." |
| [07:20.700] |
"What?" said Marsha“ |
| [07:22.040] |
"Just watch," said Sheila, touching her finger to her head“ |
| [07:25.330] |
Inside the package, Waldo was so transfixed with excitement |
| [07:29.120] |
That he could barely breathe. |
| [07:31.410] |
His skin felt prickly from the heat, |
| [07:33.710] |
And he could feel his heart beating in his throat. |
| [07:36.490] |
It would be soon. |
| [07:38.930] |
Sheila stood quite upright |
| [07:41.100] |
And walked around to the other side of the package. |
| [07:43.940] |
Then she sank down to her knees, grasped the cutter by both handles, |
| [07:48.290] |
Took a deep breath, |
| [07:49.630] |
And plunged the long blade through the middle of the package, |
| [07:52.520] |
Through the masking tape, through the cardboard, |
| [07:54.910] |
Through the cushioning |
| [07:55.610] |
And (thud) right through the center of Waldo Jeffers head, （ |
| [07:59.840] |
Which split slightly and caused little rhythmic arcs of red |
| [08:03.080] |
To pulsate gently in the morning sun |
