| [00:02.05] |
{Mr. Mackey} （Eric Cartman） |
| [00:04.98] |
And everyone should get along.. |
| [00:06.98] |
Okay children quiet down, quiet down |
| [00:08.55] |
Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day |
| [00:12.11] |
His name is Mr. Shady |
| [00:13.80] |
|
| [00:14.48] |
Children quiet down please |
| [00:16.42] |
Brian don't throw that （SHUT UP!） |
| [00:18.44] |
Mr. Shady will be your new substitute |
| [00:20.48] |
while Mr. Kaniff is out with pneumonia （HE'S GOT AIDS!） |
| [00:22.82] |
Good luck Mr. Shady |
| [00:24.10] |
{Eminem} |
| [00:24.35] |
Hi there little boys and girls （**** YOU!） |
| [00:26.49] |
Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels |
| [00:28.11] |
But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob （Huh?） |
| [00:30.63] |
Say hi Bob! （"Hi Bob"） Bob's 30 and still lives with his mom |
| [00:33.31] |
and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot |
| [00:36.10] |
but his twelve-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot |
| [00:38.54] |
And Bob likes to hang out at the local waffle spot |
| [00:41.41] |
and wait in the parking lot for waitresses off the clock |
| [00:43.78] |
when it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog |
| [00:46.97] |
Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks （AHH!） |
| [00:49.85] |
And even if they escaped and they got the cops |
| [00:52.23] |
the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge |
| [00:54.56] |
'til one night Mrs. Stacey went off the job |
| [00:57.65] |
when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk |
| [01:00.28] |
But Stacey knew it was Bob and said knock it off |
| [01:02.97] |
But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker |
| [01:05.72] |
Crazier than Slim Shady is off the vodka |
| [01:07.38] |
You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr." |
| [01:10.87] |
He grabbed S tace' by the legs as chopped it off her |
| [01:13.28] |
and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her |
| [01:16.44] |
But ever since the day Stacey went off to wander |
| [01:18.60] |
they never found her, and Bob still hangs at the waffle diner |
| [01:20.66] |
And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana, |
| [01:23.11] |
and what it might do to you |
| [01:25.22] |
So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you |
| [01:27.39] |
Chorus: Mr. Mackey （Eminem） |
| [01:28.07] |
See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon） |
| [01:29.01] |
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man） |
| [01:32.17] |
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right） |
| [01:34.15] |
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will） |
| [01:36.69] |
So kids say no to drugs （that's right） |
| [01:39.98] |
So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh） |
| [01:42.71] |
Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along） |
| [01:45.57] |
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay? |
| [01:46.78] |
{Eminem} |
| [01:47.82] |
My penis is the size of a peanut, have you seen it? |
| [01:50.25] |
**** NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut （Huh?） |
| [01:53.22] |
Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels? |
| [01:55.22] |
Ecstasy is the worst drug in the world |
| [01:58.31] |
If someone ever offers it to you, don't do it |
| [02:00.62] |
Kids two hits'll probably drain all your spinal fluid |
| [02:02.51] |
and spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back |
| [02:05.90] |
So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back |
| [02:08.43] |
Meet Zach, twenty-one years old |
| [02:10.52] |
After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold |
| [02:13.54] |
and decides to try five, when he's bribed by five guys |
| [02:16.53] |
and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it |
| [02:19.24] |
Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive |
| [02:22.87] |
and his eyes roll back in his skull {blblblblblb} |
| [02:24.84] |
His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches |
| [02:26.75] |
He's on Donald's carpet, layin horizontal barfin {BLEH} |
| [02:28.92] |
And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him |
| [02:32.48] |
"Hey Adam, Zach is a jackass, look at him!" |
| [02:35.21] |
cause they took it too, so they think it's funny |
| [02:37.21] |
So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money |
| [02:39.51] |
Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over |
| [02:43.04] |
and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga |
| [02:45.88] |
And that's the story of Zach, the ecstasy maniac |
| [02:47.90] |
So don't even feed that to squirrels class, cause it's bad for you |
| [02:50.75] |
Chorus: Mr. Mackey （Eminem） |
| [02:51.51] |
See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon） |
| [02:53.63] |
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man） |
| [02:56.40] |
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right） |
| [02:58.55] |
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will） |
| [03:01.96] |
So kids say no to drugs （that's right） |
| [03:04.43] |
So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh） |
| [03:06.39] |
Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along） |
| [03:09.66] |
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay? |
| [03:10.88] |
{Eminem} |
| [03:12.03] |
And last but not least, one of the most humungous |
| [03:13.93] |
problems among young people today, is fungus |
| [03:17.22] |
It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off, |
| [03:20.04] |
bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it |
| [03:22.62] |
Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff |
| [03:25.14] |
And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em.. |
| [03:27.62] |
And sometimes you see things that aren't there （Like what?） |
| [03:30.62] |
Like fat woman in G-strings with orange hair |
| [03:33.03] |
（Mr. Shady what's a G-string?） It's yarn Claire |
| [03:35.66] |
Women stick 'em up their behinds, go out and wear 'em （Huh?） |
| [03:38.69] |
And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms |
| [03:40.68] |
Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? |
| [03:41.87] |
I meant fungus Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue （How come?） |
| [03:46.81] |
cause it comes from a cow's dung （Gross!!） |
| [03:49.21] |
See drugs are bad, it's a common fact |
| [03:51.05] |
But your mom and dad, know that's all that I'm good at （Oh!） |
| [03:53.96] |
But don't be me, cause if you grow up and you go and O.D. |
| [03:56.70] |
They're gonna come for me and I'ma have to grow a goatee |
| [03:59.05] |
and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be my fault |
| [04:01.27] |
So don't do drugs, and do exactly as I don't, |
| [04:04.15] |
cause I'm bad for you |
| [04:05.25] |
Chorus: Mr. Mackey （Eminem） |
| [04:05.88] |
See children, drugs are bahhhd （c'mon） |
| [04:07.26] |
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd （ask him man） |
| [04:09.99] |
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom （that's right） |
| [04:12.20] |
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time （she will） |
| [04:15.43] |
So kids say no to drugs （that's right） |
| [04:17.95] |
So you don't act like everyone else does （uh-huh） |
| [04:20.24] |
Then there's really nothin else to say （sing along） |
| [04:23.36] |
Drugs are just bad, mmm'kay? |
| [04:24.86] |
{Mr. Mackey} （Eric Cartman） |
| [04:26.93] |
Come on children, clap along （SHUT UP!） |
| [04:28.92] |
Sing along children （Suck my mother****in dick!） |
| [04:30.65] |
Drugs are just bad, drugs are just bad （South Park is gonna sue me!） |
| [04:36.97] |
So don't do drugs （Suck my mother****in penis!） |
| [04:39.31] |
so there'll be more for me （Hippie! God damnit!） |
| [04:43.68] |
（So, ****ed up, right now..） |
